AIBU to feel persecuted?

[TheVermiciousKnid]

I am beginning to feel persecuted. The evidence is mounting up:

1. A few days ago I took a sip of water just after waking up and almost swallowed a fly that had been in the glass.

1. During one of the numerous times I had to get up during the last night I almost swallowed a small fly.

1. This morning I made myself a nice cup of herbal tea with honey (sore throat) - I was just about to drink it when, to my horror, there was a large spider floating in it. (My husband told me to consider how the poor spider felt about it. )

1. I have a virus (sore throat, legs like lead, headache, snot etc), I wish it would just fuck the fuck off.

1. The sun is shining into the window and making me feel worse. Sod off, sun.

Just as well I'm not grumpy.

Have you tried relocating under a mosquito net? Take the kettle with you.

It's only being so cheerful that keeps you going!!

The insect world is definately out to get you!!

Your marvellous spirit under fire will bring you through!

But clearly there is some sinister plot to invade you........

We all eat 2lb's or some other amount, can's be arsed to google of insects in our lifetime

Yes but Knid shouldn't have to eat her share all in one go.

Aw the spider was valiantly trying to save you from all the flies!

He should have a Viking burial

I shouldn't have to eat any of 'my' share! You lot can have it. I don't see why not.

See, I'm not paranoid. They are all out to get me. At least the sun has moved a bit now and is not shining directly at me any more. The cheek of it.

And the dog has just farted.

Next you have to swallow a bird to catch the spider that you swallowed to catch the fly.

Pah, that spider was in no fit state to save me from any flies! Anyway, the spiders are the worst of the lot - they're always plotting to eat me. I have outsmarted them so far.

Nooo, no birds. Though I had to dispose of a dead one yesterday morning. Bloody cats. They're out to get me too!

Stop before you get as far as swallowing the horse...

Do you think the spiders have joined forces with the flies then?

In that case we're all fucked - this is just the beginning

I see your dead bird and raise you extracting a mouses head from an excited puppy's mouth.

And your not properly persecuted till you find spiders in your fanjo.

Maybe they are all zombie flies, spiders etc? Oh dear.

Are you the 'Old Lady that swallowed a fly but we don't know why' whose not old yet?

Oh, I'm quite old enough. That's another thing: those bloody years keep creeping up on me.

I would like to point out though that I didn't actually swallow the fly or the spider. Ugh.

We do get plenty of dead mice as well.

I had a zombie moth recently. One day it was upside down and non moving, the next it was flapping around the ceiling!

Ha! You see, it's starting. I bet that zombie moth is on its way to me now.

At least it has clouded over now and the sun is leaving me alone for a bit.

Now you mention it, I've not seen zombie moth for a while...

It's those slugs they wait outside the front door

Slugs! You've just reminded me: last week I found a zombie slug on the kettle.

Yes, I can see the zombie moth now ... oh no, it's coming for me ... arrrggghhh!

I ate a ladybird by accident once. That was a BAD day.

And bees :( those scare me

You gotta shoot them in the head! Or just whack them with a newspaper...

I have never knowlingly eaten a ladybird. [smug] I did, accidently, burn a spider though. It was sitting on one of the logs and I didn't see it in time. :(

I don't mind bees! (Or rather, they haven't come to persecute me yet.)

I couldn't possibly shoot them or swat them with a newspaper, I'm too much of a softy!