AIBU to feel persecuted?

[TheVermiciousKnid]

I am beginning to feel persecuted. The evidence is mounting up:

1. A few days ago I took a sip of water just after waking up and almost swallowed a fly that had been in the glass.

1. During one of the numerous times I had to get up during the last night I almost swallowed a small fly.

1. This morning I made myself a nice cup of herbal tea with honey (sore throat) - I was just about to drink it when, to my horror, there was a large spider floating in it. (My husband told me to consider how the poor spider felt about it. )

1. I have a virus (sore throat, legs like lead, headache, snot etc), I wish it would just fuck the fuck off.

1. The sun is shining into the window and making me feel worse. Sod off, sun.

Just as well I'm not grumpy.

You need one of these

But I don't want to kill the poor little critters. :( I just wish they would leave me alone!

eek! You are definitely being persecuted, you poor thing. You need one of those carafe things that can sit on your bedside table so your glass of water is covered. I had to get one because my cat used to glug my glass of water.

Buy a venus fly trap?

DO NOT watch The Fly movie.

No, my life is way worse than yours.

The other week I was eating blueberries without looking. Then I looked down to see ... half a spider.

Do I win?

(Seriously, the amount of jumping, screaming and gibbering was enough to scare small children. Bleeeee.)

A venus fly trap would probably bite me. :(

LRD, for a moment I thought that you are indeed more persecuted than me. However, I now have the image of the half eaten spider lodged in my mind forever and eating blueberries (which I love!) will never be the same again. :( So it's all a lot worse for poor old me. :(

And the snot monster has now taken up residence my nose. :(

sounds like your house is infested with flies and slugs. Maybe you should clean a bit more

Blaming your dog for your obvious own farts disgusts the animal/ insect kingdom and this is the result!

Ah, true, verminicious. I do apologize.

Yeah ... probably not going to eat blueberries for a while.

You might have a point, BodyOfEeyore. But I'm hoping that all the critters will eventually stay away if the house gets really bad.

thebody I assure you the dog's farts are much worse than mine could ever be most of the time!

Now I am even persecuted by Mumsnetters. :(

A fly flew up my nostril the other day.

They should watch where they're going

If it was dead flies and a dead spider then perhaps a dead bird would do
Have some chicken!

tvk are you still alive this morning?

Just checking to make sure you've not been devoured by insects or suffocated by dog farts overnight.

I just bit into a peach that had a maggot in it. A MAGGOT.

Better than half a maggot...

I am still alive, just about. The snot has gone, but it now sounds like a consumptive ward here. :( I'm not impressed.

We do have chicken. The bastard cockerel persecutes me with his crowing.

No sign of any flies, spiders, moths or slugs today, but I'm sure they're still all out to get me. Farty dog insist on staying by my side all day (and night).

At least I'm not grumpy.

What's worrying me SillyBeardy is that it might have been one maggot wondering where its three mates have just disappeared off to.

SO now I've spent all day with that might-have-just-eaten-a-maggot feeling. At lunchtime I get myself a big wedge of cake to cheer myself up. Disgusting taste - spit it out, and see that the underside is COVERED IN GREEN MOULD.

Clearly VermiciousKid has added some kind of Ring-style curse to Mumsnet. Notice how she hasn't reported any more insects since posting, but everyone else is infested with them? Evil, evil cah.

Watch out for zombie moths crawling out of your telly tonight!!!!

Ha! That's true, no more insect or spider related incidents.

But have some pity for this poor old knid! I'm ill. :( I've got a temperature, am aching all over and it rattles when I breathe. No, please don't mention rattlesnakes.

If I were a Jane Austen heroine, I would be dead by tomorrow. :(

Ants now! Ants all over the kitchen! Seriously, I am not joking about this. I would NEVER joke about ants in the kitchen. What is happening to me?

Sprinkle cinnamon to stop ants- they hate it and it's safe and smells nice.

Too late - just freaked out with the RAID and am now hiding upstairs with DS, doing my nut in and wearing a big fake smile so he doesn't have to deal with the trauma of seeing his mum turn into a paranoid, eye-swivelling wreck.