To be annoyed that ex BF won't return expensive boxset

[ComeonAndy]

I was seeing a guy for a few months. All going well. I bought an expensive DVD boxset for us to watch which I left at his apartment.

Two weeks later he broke up with me out of the blue (he took a lot of drugs and I think he finished with me on a drugs comedown - yes, I know; bit of a catch). I asked if he could post the boxset back to me and he said he would (he doesn't live that near). Two months later, he still hadn't so I posted him a stamped, addressed jiffy bag so he could return it easily. I couldn't have made it easier other than driving there myself and putting it in the bag for him and putting it in a postbox!

That was 2 weeks ago and I still haven't had it.

I know I should let it go but it's really annoying especially as it cost me a lot of money! He didn't treat me very well so I think it's the least he could bloody well do!

I'm really pissed off, partly because I just want to cut ties with him and waiting for him to return this is keeping me connected to him.

AIBU?

You can cut ties with him - indeed it may be the best 50 quid you've ever spent

Just think, you could still be going out with this useless piece if shit (he's probably sold it for drugs anyway)

I need to know your taste in DVDs before passing judgement.

It has occurred to me that he's sold it for drugs!

I wrote him a nice letter which I sent with the jiffy bag (I was in a good mood that evening). It's such a small bit of effort I've asked him to make. Don't know why it's annoying me so much!

The box set is sold. I'd just move on and cut your losses. Lucky escape if you ask me.

It was Borgen.

Cost me £30.

Does that meet with your approval LPO? It's very good if you've not seen it!

I don't think he's sold it...I think he can more than afford his drug habit as he gets big bonuses from work and has properties. I think it's just sitting by his tv gathering dust because he's too lazy to pick it up and put it in the jiffy bag.

I've never heard of Borgen. Is it one of those Scandahoovian murder things?

It's a shame but I think you're going to have to write it off.

It's a political drama/thriller about a female prime minister trying to head a coalition government - and yes, it's Scandinavian. He professed to be interested in politics so I thought he might like to see it. I think he likes taking cocaine more though!

You can get it from £20 on amazon- just buy a new one! He is BVU, but if you have to pay twenty qui draw a line under the relationship it'll be twenty quid well spent

I'd just write it off and move on TBH. Annoying as it is theres not much else you can do other than collecting it personally, which is probably not really worth the hassle

Why can't you knock on his door and ask for it back?

Cos he lives 80 miles away!

Well, lives in the next city at weekends but I left it at the apartment he lives in during the week (he is quite well off!). I never went to his place in the next city as he always came to mine.

Is his name actually Andy though? Then I

Ha ha! No - I am a big Andy Murray fan!

Borgen is re running on bbc3 at the mo OP was episode 3 last night so u will b able to watch most of it in I player...

I wouldn't even bother, it's not worth the hassle. You're not using it as an excuse to keep in contact are you.. Subconsciously? I'm only saying because I did it once :(

When I finished with my ex (druggy too) I left a lot of stuff at his, that his new girlfriend ended up wearing ha! Scruffy cow n

£300 and maybe it would be worth pursuing.. but £30? thats not even the price of a night out.. I would just write it off.

I know it's not worth much and I know it's on tv at the moment but it's annoying me because I asked him to send it back and he said he would and didn't. Then I posted him a jiffy bag with the postage already paid and he still didn't post it back.

It's bugging me because I feel that there's a connection there that I want to break. I don't like him having something of mine. I know it sounds ridiculous but it is really bothering me. I want to break all ties and don't feel I can because this is unresolved.

Oh FFS. It's only worth £30, get over it. There isn't a 'connection' with the druggie loser because it's a DVD . He's probably sat at home laughing to himself at how agitated you're getting over a fucking metal disc and tbh I don't blame him.

Just to put this into context for you, my ex never paid me back the £700 he owed me for a holiday we went on that I put on my card, even though he said he would. Now THAT'S something to get pissed off about. He also doesn't pay a penny in child support and owes me over 6k in arrears. Now THAT'S something to get even more pissed off about. He also doesn't give a shit about DS and chose not to be involved in his life. Now THAT'S a connection to get pissed off about.

This is trivial crap. Seriously, move on.

I want to break all ties and don't feel I can because this is unresolved.

Well it is resolved really, isn't it? He's not going to send it back. The End.

I would also be really annoyed in your position but I think you will just have to let it go.

A couple of exs still have various DVDs, Cds, books of mine and an ex friend still has my six feet under boxsets I lent her when she was ill and never made any attempt to return them - some people are so thoughtless about other people's stuff. Makes me so mad but what can you do!

It drives me buts when people say they'll mail something and don't, but hard to force them to. It is only a material possession. Let it go. Or else go pick it up. I left a house full of stuff when I left my ex years ago. The price I paid for freedom, was well worth it as far as I am concerned.

My ex still owes me £50. We split up 6 years ago.
Unfortunately it's just one of those things (though I should charge interest, I'm blardy skint!).

If you keep pestering him about it, he's going to think that you want to get back together.