in thinking that it really doesn't matter whose life is harder?

[beansmum]

Single parents, happily married parents, parents in bad relationships...Who cares which family has the easiest life? How can you possibly generalise anyway?

I'm getting a bit fed up with conversations about this. Why does it have to be a competition to prove who has the most difficult life? Can't we just accept that parenting, in any family situation, is hard?

grrr. OK, now I've got that off my chest....I feel better already.

It's the same with competitive pain - why is someone else's pain always greater than mind (she says, having suffered 3 days of toothache)?

YANBU.

Can we also add that it doesn't matter who is poorer to that please?

My life is the hardest right now. The cat is asleep on my leg which has gone dead and everytime I try to move him I get claws in my thigh. I win. :)

You're right - but not because all parenting is hard (parenting a child with severe special needs, for example, is always going to be more challenging than parenting a sunny easy-going child who sleeps all night), instead because people's thresholds for what they can cope with are so massively different.

Or who has a brighter/popular child please?

I have NASAL HAIR

Because life is somehow one big competition and a lesson in oneupmanship so it seems. YANBU.

No way whathasthecat.

No way.

I have dropped the remote.

cba to unfrul my legs.

I is the champion.

At least you have a cat. And a thigh. Some people have to parent with no pets around.

I have hair everywhere. And only some of it is the cats.

YANBU.

Everyone has their own challenges, some bigger than others but that doesn't mean there has be some sort of "well I have x y and z" therefore I am in a worse situation than you IYSWIM.

Everlong, I think the point is not to compare in the first place. You only know as much as someone wants to tell you on here anyway.

Its likes a miserable marathon.

Anyone remmeber that scene in Notting Hill where they have a misery competition to see whose life sucks enough to get the last brownie (or something)? Haven't seen the film since I was a kid but this thread reminded me of it all of a sudden.

Oh, and YANBU

I can't pluck my eyebrows because they're white and I'm so old and wizened I can't see them anymore. I look like Denis Healey. I definitely win.

This has been a hot topic on another forum I go on in the last couple of days. It had turned into a bit of a competition on there with everyone saying they are busier/more tired/have a harder life than everyone else. People were posting 'X has happened to me' and replies were 'well you're lucky it's only X, Y has happened to me!'

I really don't think we need to compare lives. That was the whole point of this thread....but if we did I would definitely win.

I have a wisdom tooth coming through and my period and exams all at the same time. My toaster died yesterday and it's so cold in my house that honey doesn't spread onto untoasted bread. You end up with clumps of honey and holes in the bread. It's awful. And, to top it all off, this morning we ran out of teabags so I had to have some kind of weird rose flavoured crap.

I've had it bad lately, worse than all of you.

I walked around all day with an irritation on my eyelid. It wasn't till I got home I realised everyone had probably been talking to the giant whitehead that clung to my lower eyelid. It was massive.

Then again, all of you have had it worse than me because I was the only person to get to see what came out of it.

Hassled has it spot on...its actually not what people are going through...its their ability to cope with it.

I read a great book by Maria Dolan called The Ring. She was greiving the loss of her grown up son. a client went to her who was struggling because her boyfriend had left her. Dolan explained that the clients pain was no greater in her life than the pain that Dolan was feeling.

Does that make sense?

i at the minute am struggling greatly with lots of small, unimportant stuff because my reserves are depleated from big shit that has been going on over the last few years.

oh! and YANBU.

but for some people please do remember, that posting on MN is the only way for them to express themselves and find help to get out of a rut or whatever

as in RL it is too bloody hard

I really dont think they waken in the morning to think oh I know I'll start a post to compete with other women about whose life is worse. What a weird way to look at others problems OP.

so YABU as it's a bit too harsh to question why people moan or whinge on a forum.

MN offers more help people in 5 minutes than services in RL can do in 2 weeks

Belle, I don't think anyone has denied that. It's more the "well be greatful you have x" type posts which people are saying are wrong.