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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding updates on facebook - AIBU?

46 replies

Bennifer · 01/04/2012 14:08

I'm friends with a friends partner on facebook. They're getting married in 5 months and they've been engaged for the past year. A big proportion of her updates for the past year have been

"OMG, got engaged"
"only 14 months till I'm married"
"Last birthday as an unmarried woman"
"Last new year as an unmarried woman"
"OMG, the wedding invites have arrived"
"Only 200 days till I'm married", and on and on.

I've had to block her because I find this obsession over her wedding so boring and irritating. I can see that she's excited, but am I unreasonable to find this annoying?

OP posts:
miniwedge · 01/04/2012 14:21

YAB a bit curmudgeonly. She's excited, it's not hurting you. Although if she continues AFTER the wedding along the lines of;

OMG first shag as a married woman
First row about his shitting habits as a married woman
OMG the Inlaws are fucking HERE! Again! In MY house!

Then you should probably delete her.

MoaningMinnieWhingesAgain · 01/04/2012 14:22

Grinminiwedge

Has she got any children yet? Wait for the morning sickness updates

Kayzr · 01/04/2012 14:24

I get married on Thursday and I keep putting "10 sleeps til wedding" "9 sleeps til wedding"

I am extremely excited. So is your friend

YABVVVVVVVVVVVU and extremely very boring.

DustyDen · 01/04/2012 14:24

I'm bored just reading your account of it! YANBU.

naturalbaby · 01/04/2012 14:25

at the time my wedding planning and the day itself was the most exciting and newsworthy thing in the whole world. Fact.

Haven't you ever been that happy and excited, and wanted to share a little happiness and joy with your 'friends'?

Original poster
Bennifer · 01/04/2012 14:25

Kazyr, but have you doing it for 18 months now? Congratulations BTW

OP posts:
Kayzr · 01/04/2012 14:27

No for 1 year and 1 month since we got engaged.

1950sHousewife · 01/04/2012 14:27

Thank you miniwedge - that made me chuckle.
And YABU to her posts but YANBU to blocking her. I would as well.

Original poster
Bennifer · 01/04/2012 14:27

Oh god, your friends must hate you

OP posts:
RagamuffinAndFidget · 01/04/2012 14:29

The only reason I didn't post endless wedding updates was because DS1 was born before we got married so I spent our engagement posting endless updates about him instead Wink

It's exciting, getting married, isn't it? Surely it's great that she's full of joy at the thought of becoming Mrs x, rather than posting "Oh crap I'm getting married in 200 days"?

Kayzr · 01/04/2012 14:30

No they don't actually as I have nice friends who are happy that I am happy. Not horrible friends who aren't actually my friends.

I haven't posted about it every single day but I would say I have for every milestone such as picking the date, choosing a dress etc.

Original poster
Bennifer · 01/04/2012 14:32

ok, to be fair, you did imply that you had been posting for a year "only 349 sleeps till my wedding".

Still, I think most people would find constant updates boring as it comes across as self-centred

OP posts:
RagamuffinAndFidget · 01/04/2012 14:38

You know you can hide updates on Facebook if you don't want to see them, don't you? If you're really so miserly that you don't want to share in your friend's exciting news then just hide her updates. Problem solved.

Original poster
Bennifer · 01/04/2012 14:41

Ragamuffin, indeed, if you read my OP, that's what I've done

OP posts:
Debeez · 01/04/2012 14:44

YAB (a tiny bit) U. She's happy, she's sharing. You could have hidden her rather than blocked, but from that I'm assuming she's not a close friend. FB is full of crap, I posted about my hamster being in it's ball for the first time today ffs. I have friends who were interested and replied and we talked hamsters. The ones who weren't interested didn't block me nor take the time to write a paragraph and list about my pets and their habits :o )

Debeez · 01/04/2012 14:45

XP Sorry OP says blocked Bennifer.....

Original poster
Bennifer · 01/04/2012 14:50

To make it clear, I've blocked her updates, not her as a friend. I am happy for them as a couple, but I find there's a fine line on FB between sharing and narcissism. I've had many friends get married in the FB era, but this one does seem quite extreme

www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2012/mar/17/facebook-dark-side-study-aggressive-narcissism

OP posts:
Debeez · 01/04/2012 14:52

worried about hamster based narcissism

Kayzr · 01/04/2012 14:55

I really don't understand the problem. If you were her friend you would be happy for her. I post on facebook everyday. About all sorts of stuff. It is what facebook was made for strangely enough.

Original poster
Bennifer · 01/04/2012 15:02

I am happy for her. I suppose narcissism, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

OP posts:
TheCraicDealer · 01/04/2012 15:16

I feel sorry for your mate- what's she going to focus on after she gets married? It seems like she's a prime candidate for that post-wedding-depression! It's only one day, you can understand she's excited but when you're linking it to other non-related events like birthdays (which are happy celebrations in their own right) you may have A Problem.

TidyDancer · 01/04/2012 15:22

I think this would annoy me too.

I am not a prolific Facebook user like a lot of people, but I do feel sad for people who feel the need to constantly live their lives in front of others. It's all done in a very 'look at me, aren't I fabulous, blah blah blah' way.

It's not quite as bad as those posts where someone out and out types for attention ("so fucked off" "what's up babes?" "tell you later"), but it is sleep inducing.

SherlockGnomes · 01/04/2012 15:31

yyy tidydancer those people are MUCH more annoying, I had 'ffs life just gets worz and worz' on mine today....YOU ARE AN ADULT STOP LIVING OUT YOUR PETTY LITTLE DRAMAS ON FACEBOOK LIKE A 14 YEAR OLD. AND LEARN TO SPELL. phew, feel better for that

Bunbaker · 01/04/2012 15:33

I simply don't understand why some people have to live out every minute of their lives in the public domain. I am a very private person and wouldn't dream of putting inane comments on my Facebook page. In fact, I don't put any status updates on my page because I am not so self absorbed or self important enough to think that anyone else would be interested.

crashdoll · 01/04/2012 15:34

YANBU. Regular updates on one topic make me feel drained and bored.