What would you do if you dared?

[Bluebirdpies]

Having a good weed in the garden and Have filled up a carrier bag of our neighbours cat's shit. If I dared, I'd love to go and give it back to her. I obv won't but I'd LOVE to.

What would you love to do if you dared?

Egg or key my soon to be exH's and his whore's precious expensive cars.

• tell our neighbour that her harpsichord playing is not good, it's actually making my ears bleed *wear a bikini (not whilst I'm telling neighbour about her harpsichord!)

leave and never come back.

ooh! and dob my sil in for benefit fraud!

Ask my mil, how as she is so clever (former deputy head) and all her children went to russell group universities she never thought to learn how to use a knife and fork properly and pass the skill on to her children.

Pose naked for a fetish magazine. Pregnant ladies, fat pregnant ladies, fat ladies, saggy boobs, big ass, stretch marks, lovely toes, bearded women, old ladies, old fat ladies

Have an "accident" with dp, instead of waiting a few years til we've got careers etc sorted.

Scream the same abuse at my fuckwit neighbour as they dole out to their three feral preschoolers

I would become an international jewel thief. I would be based in Singapore, own governments, live in utter luxury, and no one could touch me. I would always look like a middle aged housewife so all the authorities investigating my crimes would write me off at a glance as being incapable of such derringer-do. I shall have a lovely time, and swan about all over the world for innocent-seeming reasons like International Knitting Conferences, and during the night perform daring acts of thievery upon famous jewels like the Crown Jewels, just because I can.

Sell the house, jack my job in and travel the globe.

Move to italy and live in the sun!

@ marriedinwhite

I would do a parachute jump. Actually I'm going to do one if I reach 80 in reasonably good condition. I'm scared thinking about it and I'm only 35.

These are great, I'm now fantasising about being a jewel thief who poses for fetish mags :0

StrandedBear - I know it's my neighbours cat as 1) there aren't any other cats close by and 2) ive seen them doing it. I can't however stand in the garden all day every day to prevent it.

Apologies, I thought I'd posted thus in chat - just can't keep away from Aibu.

Tell my FIL that he doesn't have to bring up the Things That Make Him Angry every time we see him - nor shoehorn them into every conversation. We already know his Views.
No, actually, just tell him he's a moaning, racist, bigotted arse.

Go and punch my obnoxious neighbours who walk their dogs right into mine on a huuuuuge piece of wasteland then complain about my dogs when they start barking.

Same as Pombear

I'd sod the consequences and leave my husband for the man I really love, who is waiting patiently for me...

Rob a bank!

Smear dog shit on inner side of door handles of XP's Chelsea tractor.

"I'd sod the consequences and leave my husband for the man I really love, who is waiting patiently for me..."

err, bloody hell!! I hope you mean Brad Pitt of something!

Tell everyone in my life who pisses me off to fuck the fuck off.

Ooh too many buttons yours wins...

shoot all the people on my Hate List

Nothing really

wins and loses at the same time :(