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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really shocked at this?

53 replies

OtherWayMrCollins · 06/02/2012 16:09

A male friend who is seemingly happily married with a DS, has regular snogging sessions, groping and oral sex with a colleague. He seems to think there's nothing wrong with it and that most other guys would do the same if it were offered! I am so shocked. It has totally changed my opinion of this guy. Are men all just insensitive, horny bastards?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 06/02/2012 16:11

Yes of course.

Based on this one person you know...ALL men will be that way.

PosiePumblechook · 06/02/2012 16:11

No, your colleague is clearly smegma personified.

LaurieFairyCake · 06/02/2012 16:12

I thankfully know no married men like that. And neither does dh.

Maybe his partner is enjoying the same and they have an open relationship?

baabaapinksheep · 06/02/2012 16:12

All men are cunts, the sooner you learn this the better.

OnlyANinja · 06/02/2012 16:12

YANBU to be shocked

He is BU to say that most men would do it.

Kayano · 06/02/2012 16:12

Hmm don't think you have to judge all men based off this one dickhead man

Do you know his wife or partner, might
They have an open relationship?

solidgoldbrass · 06/02/2012 16:13

Some people believe (like Bill Clinton) that only PIV counts as infidelity. Hopefully this man's partner shares this viewpoint.
However, it isn't any business of yours where other people set the monogamy boundaries in their relationships and it's silly and plain inaccurate to think that it's all men and only men who either reject monogamy or pay lip service to it while repeatedly breaching it.

Original poster
OtherWayMrCollins · 06/02/2012 16:13

WorraLiberty, it's his actions I'm shocked at! I suspect all men are guided by their pants but shocked that he thinks there's nothing wrong with it.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 06/02/2012 16:13

Take a look on the mumsnet relationships section.....a lot of this kind of thing goes on in these 'happy' marriages it seems

FaginShmagin · 06/02/2012 16:13

No.

No they aren't.

ABatInBunkFive · 06/02/2012 16:14
Biscuit
Original poster
OtherWayMrCollins · 06/02/2012 16:14

I know his wife too. I don't think they have an open relationship. The three of them work in the same workplace.

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 06/02/2012 16:14

I also want to know how you know what your colleage does with his cock. Does he boast to the whole office about it? If so, he has very poor manners. Or have you found out by snooping? Or are you the one giving him non-adulterous blowjobs?

talkingtomyselfhere · 06/02/2012 16:15

I don't think it's fair to say all men do this sort of thing but I do know several at my place of work who are. Yanbu to think its out of order but it does go on

YouOldSlag · 06/02/2012 16:16

YANBU- I'm shocked too! That's awful. It's totally infidelity and would be grounds for divorce in my book. PIV or not, that's still sex and intimacy and deceit and lies.

His saying all men would do it is just his own weak pathetic justification. Most men have got too much to lose and/or actually love their wives.

LaurieFairyCake · 06/02/2012 16:16

lol at 'non-adulterous blow jobs' Grin

Original poster
OtherWayMrCollins · 06/02/2012 16:16

Hahahah Solidbrass! He's a close friend and confided in me. I can barely be bothered doing that with DH let alone anyone else!

OP posts:
GrahamTribe · 06/02/2012 16:17

You're shocked at what? That married men have sometimes screw around? Boy, you've led a sheltered life haven't you!

Laurie, it may be fair to say that neither you nor your husband know any married men who admit to being like that.

GrahamTribe · 06/02/2012 16:18

Sorry, I don't know where that extraneous "have" came from.

overmydeadbody · 06/02/2012 16:18

His wife works in the office too?! Shock

How do you know this? Did he tell you? Did she tell you? Do they do it openly?!

I don't think you can take this man's actions and assume all men are like this. My DP and his friends would tihnk this sort of thing very wrong indeed.

LIZS · 06/02/2012 16:18

Vile. Are you sure she doesn't know? He will have convinced himself it is fine regardless.

WorraLiberty · 06/02/2012 16:18

I suspect all men are guided by their pants but shocked that he thinks there's nothing wrong with it

Yes and all women just want to watch Loose Women all day and sit around discussing handbags and shoes.

maddening · 06/02/2012 16:19

Eeeeewwww what a skank. Most men I know are not like this though.

JustHecate · 06/02/2012 16:19

All men are not anything. In the same way that all women are not. Or all black people are not.

This particular individual is a rat (presuming this is a betrayal of his wife and they don't have an open relationship). He is certainly unprofessional. If he is boasting about what he is doing and with whom, then he is being disrespectful. All in all - this person is a bastard. However, you cannot extrapolate anything about half the population of the world from the actions of one man.

Agincourt · 06/02/2012 16:20

A male friend who is seemingly happily married with a DS

by DS, do you mean a Nintendo?