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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Found out my christmas present.

31 replies

SacreLao · 15/12/2011 09:31

Typing on phone so excuse the spelling.

DP has a smart phone, I don't. As I struggle sleeping I often use DP phone to mumsnet etc. when I can't get to sleep.

DP knows this and asked me to not look at any text messages from a certain person as there had been present discussion. Have been a good girl and stayed well away.

We are on a budget this year as have DC3 on the way so we are doing small presents for each other and I want a surprise.

Anyway was just looking for a photograph on the phone, for DP present strangely enough and have come across a photo of what is clearly my present from DP.

I feel so guilty, do I tell DP or keep quiet?

Even worse, I love the present but it's over our agreed budget and I can't see how DP has afforded this without borrowing money that we can't afford to pay back.

What should I do?

OP posts:
TeaCider · 15/12/2011 09:33

What is it? Xmas Grin

GypsyMoth · 15/12/2011 09:33

He may have got a bargain? eBay?

What is it?

TotemPole · 15/12/2011 09:36

What is it?
Can't give an opinion until you let us know.Xmas Grin

ShatnersBassoon · 15/12/2011 09:38

What's the present? We need to know. If it's something romantic, let him have his moment. If it's a household appliance, demand he sends it back.

MabelLucyAttwell · 15/12/2011 09:41

I don't know what is is and don't care. IMO, you should forget what you have seen and never mention it until you open it (if it is your Christmas present). Just because you have seen something on your DH's phone doesn't mean that it's for you, does it? Hmmm. If you don't receive it for Christmas, that's when the questions start!!!

south345 · 15/12/2011 09:41

Maybe he's been saving up secretly?

rubyrubyruby · 15/12/2011 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies · 15/12/2011 09:42

Is it a tank of hamsters? I got that one year from DH. I was not happy but what can you do about a tank of rodents? The pet shop didn't accept returns.

If you love it, perhaps say nothing and hope that he has put some thought into how to pay for it.

Although I know how you feel. I worry very much when DH has clearly bought me something expensive, rodents or not, about how we can justify the cost. It does make you feel stressed and ungrateful and I would be worried about it from now until Christmas if I had found out early.

lilibet · 15/12/2011 09:43

I'm remembering Emma Thompson in Love Actually, finding a gold necklace and getting a cd

Original poster
SacreLao · 15/12/2011 09:45

DP is a she lol

Present is a digital camera, a pretty decent SLR one with good resolution so not cheap.

Definately not from Ebay as I have access to the joint ebay account.

My camera broke this year and we have not been able to replace it so very sweet and thoughtfull present.

I just hope she has not borrowed money to pay for it.

I'm 22 weeks pregnant and living in my pj.s as we have no money for maternity clothes until after christmas, how can I accept an expensive gift.

OP posts:
andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 15/12/2011 09:48

Because she loves you and wants to make you happy, and Xmas provides the perfect excuse to spoil you.

It's done now, so accept it and enjoy! I am Envy btw I would love an SLR.

aldiwhore · 15/12/2011 09:50

I've found out the same (well he would store it unwrapped in a see through bag, in the room where all the other gifts are kept) but have decided I don't know. I'll still be chuffed on Christmas Day, and I'm not going over our agreed budget in return because I enjoy being smug Wink

I'm not a massive fan of surprises anyway, I like to know roughly what I'm getting.

Original poster
SacreLao · 15/12/2011 09:51

Present definately for me. I have been doing all christmas shopping lists etc. and know who is getting what. Plus we are on a budget for other people and not buying most adults so can't be for anyone else.

Partner has definately not been saving up, all finances are joint and go into one bank account so I would have noticed the money going and it has not.

She has her own bank account but has lost the card so b no access to it. No credit cards etc.

I am certain the money has been borrowed. We have paying off debt to her dad all year and it is all paid in 2 weeks.

I will be so annoyed to find myself back in debt next year after working so hard to clear it but sadly DP has a habit of not thinking these things through and also of borrowing money without considering how to pay it back, hence I control the finances mostly.

OP posts:
rubyrubyruby · 15/12/2011 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RumourOfAHurricane · 15/12/2011 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

oreocrumbs · 15/12/2011 09:57

Are you cartain she has actually bought it? Could it just be a picture on her phone perhaps sent by someone who is selling one to show her it?

Original poster
SacreLao · 15/12/2011 09:57

Oooh thanks Ruby, nice way of justifying it.

I love the camera, am really pleased but feel guilty as it's 3 times the agreed budget roughly.

OP posts:
ViviPrudolf · 15/12/2011 09:58

I completely see your PoV. OP, and would react exactly as you have.

Sometimes though, you just have to let go and allow things to go off-piste. Its a GREAT gift, no two ways. Just enjoy it. It will last you a lifetime.

Heart my SLR Xmas Smile

Original poster
SacreLao · 15/12/2011 09:58

Just a photo of it yes being held by someone in it's box on MY couch so would assume it has been bought.

OP posts:
oreocrumbs · 15/12/2011 10:02

Well in that case theres not a lot you can do, don't tell her, and on christmas day look delighted! Then in the future have another talk about your financial situation.

rubyrubyruby · 15/12/2011 10:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rollersara · 15/12/2011 10:10

Even if it's not eBay it may be secondhand, my partner inherited a very good camera when a keen photographer friend bought himself a newer model.

And second, as others have said, it's a shame if you have a baby coming and neither of you have a camera!

TeaCider · 15/12/2011 10:15

It is a family gift and a good camera is an investment. I understand the worry of an expensive purchase when money is tight, but you never know it may have been a bargain. Try not to overthink it for now until you know the full story.
Oh and enjoy it. Xmas Grin

Takeresponsibility · 15/12/2011 11:04

Imagine having a new baby and having no way to take photos of her - this is definitely something that will benefit you as a family.

It's a lovely thought and worth the investment, enjoy!

Original poster
SacreLao · 15/12/2011 13:53

We do have another camera by the way.

Only the one built into DPs phone but being a smart phone it takes fairly decent photos and has done us since my camera broke.

I am very happy at getting a proper camera again though.

I suppose what's done is done now and I'll have to practice my surprised face ready for the day.

OP posts:
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