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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? You decide! Because I think I'm perfectly reasonable !

32 replies

troisgarcons · 07/12/2011 20:07

I have just received the phone bill.

It's roughly half the national debt. Annoyed doesnt cover it. I've done my lid, exploded my conkers, wrought vengeance and had a long bout of tourettes into the bargain.

Between DS1(16) and DS3(11) they have managed to use all my spare cash this month. Direct debit goes out tomorrow, bill plopped on mat today so it is in the system and I cant phone and arrange a partial payment or a deferal until payday.

I have categorically told DS1 that as far as he is concerned, Christmas is wiped out. But there are a whole lot of other issues with him and treating the house like a hotel.

I'm pondering DS3(11) - in fairness he asks if he can use the phone, I ask if its a house line or mobile and he says house line. The penny has dropped (with me) he actually wouldnt know the difference between dialling codes.

DS2(15) not involved in this at all - he can manage his own money, arrange his own contract phone and pay bill. He also doesnt want anything other than money for Christmas, so it isn't as if he's going to get a pile of presents whilst the other two look on.

This isn't the first time DS1 has run up a silly bill all though it's never been this bad.

Factor in I forgot to get my car tax on 1st Dec, tried to do it on line and found my MOT had expired - so an emergency trip to my lovely mechanic yesterday - cat tax, MOT, minor repairs that I wasn't budgetting for.

I'm certainly not getting into debt for Christmas.

Shall I cancel it? MN, the jury - guide me.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 07/12/2011 20:12

If you are paying monthly on direct debit, they will just up the amount on your direct debit surely?

SenoritaViva · 07/12/2011 20:14

No don't cancel Christmas, but I would wrap up the phone bill nicely for DS1 to open on the day.

bumpybecky · 07/12/2011 20:14

I thought they had to issue a bill 10 days or something before the money left the account?

Is it worth looking at a package with inclusive calls? not sure if they cover mobiles though :(

squeaky - my phone provider (Virgin) charges the amount of the bill each month, not like gas and electric where it gets averaged out.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 07/12/2011 20:17

You aren't being unreasonable at all. But think you may change your mind!

Whateveryousaymustberight · 07/12/2011 20:17

You are giving me horrible flashbacks to my child racking up huge bills! Nightmare. I think you could pare down Christmas, but if you cancel it alogether it could backfire with a lot of storming off, door slamming and general misery. And your tourettes will probably flare up again like nobody's business. You have my sympathy though.

MissMogwi · 07/12/2011 20:18

If you ring your bank can they not pull back the payment, you could then ring the phone company and defer payment?

BT have deferred mine until next month due to unforeseen cash problems.

But I don't think YABU if you scale down Xmas to teach the DC a lesson.

youarekidding · 07/12/2011 20:20

My DD covers line rental and the call charges for that month squeaky most phone bill DD are variable.

YANBU to be livid but maybe you need to look at your provider - most provide free evening/ weekend calls and some also so many hours of mobile calls and also daytime. I also get 0845 numbers free on mine. (although I wouldn't recommend Talk Talk!)

I think if your DS3 has only called with prmission and you've not checked it is house calls he can't be held totally responsible although I would have thought an 11yo would know if they were calling a mobile?

Do your boys get pocket money? Could you take some of that towards the phone bill leaving some spare for xmas? Or could you charge them for their calls when they make them in future or look at PAYG mobiles with so many 'free' minutes or contract phones they pay towards which cut off if they go over their free time?

Original poster
troisgarcons · 07/12/2011 20:20

No, Im with Talk-Talk - bill calculated on 2nd of the month, it plops on the mat today and the DD goes out tomorrow.... Its a pay-in-full bill not an averaged DD.

Talk-Talk is far and away the cheapest on the market anyway (free o/seas w/end calls and free broadband)

I am so angry - its is 7 times what I would normally expect to pay

OP posts:
racingheart · 07/12/2011 20:22

YANBU. Don't cancel Christmas because that would be cruel. But give very small presents to the ones who cleaned you out and if you can afford it, give the amount of money they spent on the phone to DS2. They have to learn there isn't a bottomless pit.

HoudiniHissy · 07/12/2011 20:22

Agh, that's crap!

Agreed try to get payment deferred, split etc.

Why not (when you've recovered from the bills etc) get a cheap PAYG mobile, with a certain amount of credit for the boys to use, when it's gone, either that's IT, or they top it up.

lljkk · 07/12/2011 20:24

DS3 didn't know; you've got to allow for his inexperience.
Sounds like you need to work up a plan with the DS1 about lots of things, phone bill just a small part of it.
I suggest that both DS1 & DS3 can't use the phone without showing you the number first. Are neither of them on some kind of cheap/free texts mobile phone tariff?

I would literally take the landline phone with me when I left the house.

Re Xmas; Definitely don't spend money you don't have, whatever you do.

Original poster
troisgarcons · 07/12/2011 20:24

Why not (when you've recovered from the bills etc) get a cheap PAYG mobile, with a certain amount of credit for the boys to use, when it's gone, either that's IT, or they top it up

That is the problem ..... DS1 runs outo credit - and uses the landline whilst we are at work. DS3 is ony 11 and has only got his first PAYG mobile, we've had the chat about making credit last - hence asking to use the land line.

OP posts:
youarekidding · 07/12/2011 20:25

Ring them. They are crap but have been helpful with bills in the past. My phonebill goes out at the end of the month, I am forever on the phone! and it rarely costs me more than the monthly charge. Mindyou are you on a lower tariff maybe than me? I get free calls up to an hour (hang up and call back!), free o/seas to registered numbers and free 0845 and 0871? calls. My package is about £26/mth and the biggest bill has been is £27.89!!!

If you have internet banking can you cancel the DD now? Then ring TT and set up a new and spread out one?

wannabestressfree · 07/12/2011 20:27

Can you not lock the phone when you are not in the house? That's I used to do.

manicbmc · 07/12/2011 20:27

Unplug the phone

Original poster
troisgarcons · 07/12/2011 20:29

lock the phone

I called talk talk - you pay cheap - you get cheap ! They can block all mobiles, not individual ones. there are occassions where I want to call a mobile.

I think the solution is my modem and my handset go in my handbag to work.

Bloody ridiculous really.

Im still frothing madly.

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 07/12/2011 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youarekidding · 07/12/2011 20:36

Maybe take the microfilter not the actual modem and phone - would mean you didn't have to take a suitcase large handbag with you Grin

SageMistAndSnowflakes · 07/12/2011 20:40

My ds did this when he was 15. We went through the itemised bill and made him pay for all the calls he made, He never did it again.

penguinpenguin · 07/12/2011 20:43

Can you set up a PIN to use the phone? I know one of my friend's parents did that when we were teenagers because he kept phoning mobiles!

Original poster
troisgarcons · 07/12/2011 20:48

Thank you - I am now relatively calm(er) and vaguely chilled.

I suppose I'm really irritated that my mechanic did a quick job for me, with little mark up - he knows I have strict work hours - he dropped the car back to the house for me - and I intended to nip out and pay him tomorrow lunch time..... I don't like to make ""real people"" wait for their money - corporations can be juggled with. Talk -Talk doesn't give me that option due to their tight margins.

OP posts:
TheFrogs · 07/12/2011 20:48

I dont have talk talk (heard they were absolute pants). I'm with virgin (although not impressed with them either at the mo due to crappy slow internet). However, I have unlimited landline calls for £15 a month and could block all mobiles if I wanted, would have a code to put in to unblock if I needed to. Ds has a contract mobile deal I got on my own vodafone mobile, so many minutes, texts etc and they send alerts if he is near to his usage. If I need to call a mobile I call from my own mobile as I have lots of minutes always left over..the person I call the most I have free calls to anyway so it never affects my minutes.

It works ok for us (so far). What mobile networks are your kids on? Even if its pay as you go, you can still get magic number type things. With Vodafone its called "family" I think, £5 a month for four numbers who can call each other anytime for free. One person has to be on contract, the rest can be on pay as you go. My friend, her mum and I are on it and we work it out so we all pay our share.

bumpybecky · 07/12/2011 20:55

or look at giff gaff - as long as you top up every 3 months calls and texts between giff gaff mobiles are free. If you get a mate a sim you get £5 credit. If all your ds's friends switch they'll all have free calls between themselves (hope that makes some kind of sense!)

btw - what is the plural of ds? not dss as that's step son, not ds's as no need for apostrophe, so what do you use?

lollilou · 07/12/2011 21:27

When I was young my Dad got a payphone installed do that, that will teach them!

HoudiniHissy · 09/12/2011 19:03

Oh, I see. Little blighters

I think the riot act needs to be read and they need to understand what has happened. If removing the handset is what takes, then that is what you will do.

I also think that you could do with removing the mobile they DO have access to for a while. They need to feel some pain in this.