AIBU? You decide! Because I think I'm perfectly reasonable !

[troisgarcons]

I have just received the phone bill.

It's roughly half the national debt. Annoyed doesnt cover it. I've done my lid, exploded my conkers, wrought vengeance and had a long bout of tourettes into the bargain.

Between DS1(16) and DS3(11) they have managed to use all my spare cash this month. Direct debit goes out tomorrow, bill plopped on mat today so it is in the system and I cant phone and arrange a partial payment or a deferal until payday.

I have categorically told DS1 that as far as he is concerned, Christmas is wiped out. But there are a whole lot of other issues with him and treating the house like a hotel.

I'm pondering DS3(11) - in fairness he asks if he can use the phone, I ask if its a house line or mobile and he says house line. The penny has dropped (with me) he actually wouldnt know the difference between dialling codes.

DS2(15) not involved in this at all - he can manage his own money, arrange his own contract phone and pay bill. He also doesnt want anything other than money for Christmas, so it isn't as if he's going to get a pile of presents whilst the other two look on.

This isn't the first time DS1 has run up a silly bill all though it's never been this bad.

Factor in I forgot to get my car tax on 1st Dec, tried to do it on line and found my MOT had expired - so an emergency trip to my lovely mechanic yesterday - cat tax, MOT, minor repairs that I wasn't budgetting for.

I'm certainly not getting into debt for Christmas.

Shall I cancel it? MN, the jury - guide me.

I would give each child an itemised bill of THEIR calls, give them a deadline for payment, just like you get from talk talk, then either collect the cash from them, or make them work the bill off, the eldest will probably feel really miffed that he loses so much money/free time that he may curb himself.....at some point everyone has to learn what real life actually costs in money and time. Dont cancel christmas, not for their sake, but for your own, as im sure you will go to bed on christmas day in tears if you do. Teens eh..gaaahhh (mine are constantly skypeing......in fact cant yours do that? Mine have convinced me its cheaper and comes from your broadband allowance, not your bill...am i gullible or is that right?)

Ask the bank to process an indemnity which will get the funds back. Or, they can recall in on the day. Do not do this until you have spoken to your bill provider otherwise they may charge you for a late payment. But if you can get an agreement with them then the funds can be easily returned.

BTW, indemnities can be processed up to 12 months of the DD being taken, basically the bank refund the money then go to the company to claim it back. So if you don't speak to Talk Talk first they might just reclaim in a week or so.

*Apologies if this has already been said, haven't read all the posts.

Love giffgaff.

Can the boys at least partly pay you back in kind? Chores, pocket money etc? Or am I being naive (I don't have teens)

It depends if they're genuinely sorry or not.

I would go through the bill with them & work out the cost each child has made in phone calls. Ask them how they can pay it back? Explain about the cost of Xmas etc.

I would definitely cancel the direct debit with the bank, you can do it online if you have online banking or phone your bank. The DD will go out & come back again. Wait until you get a letter from Talk Talk and then take it from there, I am pretty certain they will let you spread it out, you won't get into any trouble.

I wouldn't cancel xmas or not buy presents but it would depend on their attitude.

I feel your pain. I recall the terrible day of reckoning when a similar bill came in back in the days when ds1 and 2 were 15 and 14. They didn't recall making any "expensive calls". But having got an itemised bill, it transpired that they were routinely having shedloads of stupidly unnecessary "see you in half an hour, then" type conversations while I was at work. My solution was to clawback allowances to pay for their calls. This was before all teenagers had mobile phones so my options were limited.

However, things are different now and your ds1, at 16, needs to learn that once the credit on his PAYG has run out, that's it. No more calls unless he can fund them - perhaps by getting a part-time job. It certainly wouldn't hurt him to have a very constrained Christmas either but don't punish the whole household.

i wouldn't cancel christmas.

i would make ds1 pay his share of the bill though.

he has a mobile, he uses up the credit and then he uses the house phone instead? totally unacceptable.
i have no idea how he is money-wise. does he get pocket money? have a job?

i would be confiscating his mobile for starters, and whatever you would have been paying in credit will be used to pay off the bill perhaps?

it's not enough to just go off on one at him and say you'll cancel christmas. he needs to realise that htis is real money getting used up... money that HE has to pay back.
he is 16!

My mum has a code that you have to type in when you want to make an outgoing call (not sure who her provider is) because Step Sis had a habit of always having an important phone call to make whenever she visited my mum and stepdad! (Always mobiles or the 0845 numbers!)
Apparantly her face was a picture when she went round and stepdad told her there was now a code on it, and he didnt know it as he uses his mobile!
You could try that?
If DS 1 runs out of credit, that's his lookout, he then doesnt use the house phone. Im fairly sure no 15 year old has such an emergency where they must use the phone to end up running up such a bill!