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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think nurseries shouldn't take over children's centres?

65 replies

Chulita · 07/12/2011 12:21

We go to a local children's centre for their stay & play session which is free (but they appreciate a donation in the tea/snack pot as most do). It's got a small soft play, very small sensory room and a craft/play room.

Recently a local nursery has started bringing 8-10 children at a time with 2 helpers. They stay for the full time and all stick together as a group for obvious reasons but whichever room they're in is then full and there's no room for anyone else. At snack time they have a knack of pre-empting the time and all sit down so there are usually about 4 or 5 mums sitting on the floor with their children on their knees. Some of us bring in birthday cake/biscuits to share along with the fruit the centre provides but because the nursery children have the chairs they often finish it off and the other children go without. The nursery staff never bring anything to share despite their mindees sharing what others bring.

I know it's a children's centre and it's for children, none of us have to pay but surely this nursery is getting paid to mind the children, funded for some of them. It just seems a bit cheeky imo.
AIBU to think they're a bit out of order?

OP posts:

AKMD · 07/12/2011 12:23

YANBU, what a pain. Why aren't the nursery using their own facilities?! I would definitely complain and if taht gets you nowhere find another centre.

Original poster

Chulita · 07/12/2011 12:26

I've wondered about complaining but seeing as we all use it for nothing it feels a bit wrong to see us parents/carers as having priority. I don't think I'd change centres cos there are a few of us that get on quite well and it's not that easy to make friends at some of these groups so I'm loathe to leave these!

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 07/12/2011 12:29

Children's centres are closing in loads of places due to cuts, you are lucky to still have yours.... Maybe the nursery using it would strengthen your position to stay open if the cuts come your way!

Original poster

Chulita · 07/12/2011 12:33

sara the thing is, it's a really, really busy session even without the nursery there. Tbh it could damage it possibly if They think that it's being used by a nursery rather than parents who need it.

I know we're very lucky here, we've got 3 children's centres within walking distance and one 15 mins drive away. They all do something on a different day but I can't see them all staying open a year from now.

OP posts:

Firawla · 07/12/2011 12:33

Yanbu this is a bit out of order! what do the CC staff think about it? childminders and nannies is fine and understandable to come but a whole nursery taking it over just seems a bit off, surely they have their own facilities at the nursery and children for them all to play with at the nursery and their own snack time at the nursery? It sounds as though the nursery workers might be a bit lazy and just want to let the CC people do the work and they take the easy route, rather than having to prepare their own snacks etc at the nursery maybe?

Original poster

Chulita · 07/12/2011 12:42

I don't know what they think but I can't really ask them. I'd be a bit if I found out DD was going to the centre instead of being at nursery, mind you they'd get a bit of a shock if I met her there!

OP posts:

AKMD · 07/12/2011 12:51

Can you and your friends threaten mutiny en masse? It sounds like it would be easy to use another centre's facilities and the management of this centre might be looking for a good excuse to have words with the nursery.

MrsWifty · 07/12/2011 15:12

YANBU - I would be seriously cheesed off if I were a parent using that centre, they're for families, not professionals. Do the nursery staff contribute to the snack/tea kitty?

Aren't children's centres run by the local council? Maybe you could write to your local councillor?

pigletmania · 07/12/2011 15:12

YANBU at all, its taking liberties. These centers are for families to use not organisations. Don't take cakes or anything to share in.

grumplestilskin · 07/12/2011 15:19

thing is, the more varied the group that's using a CC is, the more of an arguemtent they have for staying open...

maybe that nursery, or that GROUP from that nursery, is targeted by the CC because it is from the centre of a low participation in education/CC attendance/group use/literacy area and the kids they bring don't get taken to anywhere on their non 16hrs free days at home?

grumplestilskin · 07/12/2011 15:20

TBH IMO the CC is for the CHILDREN not the mums, but you wouldn't think that by some of the ones I've been to.. anyway in my mind it doesn't matter who brings them as long as children that need the experience, get it!

Original poster

Chulita · 07/12/2011 15:32

I've not seen them contribute but obviously I don't stand over it monitoring who's putting in what. All I do know is that I religiously put my pound in and there's only ever one other coin in there rattling around.

grumple the nursery is a walk away in an 'average' area but yea, you could well be right. IMO in some cases both the mums and the children need the centres. I'll admit I don't need them, I really enjoy them and would be stuck without them but there are a few ladies who go along because they're in a really difficult patch and they can have a CC staff member look after their toddler for a couple of hours while they take a breath with their newborn.

OP posts:

Original poster

Chulita · 07/12/2011 15:38

I think my main beef is with the fact that the nursery is paid to look after these children and has good facilities (I had a look at it for DD) but they go to the centre and squeeze out all the glitter glue.

one of those things then, for all I know I'm the only one who's a bit about it, most of the other mums are so 'nice' I think they'd feel bad if they made a comment!

OP posts:

wonkylegs · 07/12/2011 15:42

Sorry that you feel they are taking over but I think YABU - the situation is not be being managed very well but the children's centres are there for children and assuming that they are less deserving because they are at nursery is U and probably incorrect. Only about a third of the children at DS's nursery are fully paid for by parents, many are mainly only there because of the free hours or subsidised provision. DS's nursery is big and has lots of space but they still go to a local soft play as they don't have space for that and it's also good to get a change if scene every now and then (and the kids love going on the bus). Even if they are paid for what makes them less deserving than your kids to have a go with soft play/sensory stuff.
If you are unhappy with the situation it would probably be more productive to approach the organisers and suggest that they approach the nursery about contributing more and working out how they can better integrate rather than just being pissed off that they are there.

MollyTheMole · 07/12/2011 15:46

are you sure the nursery isnt tagged on to/part of the childrens centre? Mine (well DS's) is

grumplestilskin · 07/12/2011 15:51

yes it's a great service for mums too, but the mums aren't more deserving/needy than the children from the nursery, they need it too, probably more so in some ways if they don't have conscienscious mums with them who can bring in cakes IYKWIM

My DS goes to a nursery which uses the CC during the holidays (their picnics and outdoor events), it doesn't use it weekly but if it did, why should my DS miss out just because he doesn't have a stay at home or term time working parent to take him with bells (or cakes) on?

grumplestilskin · 07/12/2011 15:52

and while my DS has a fab little social life, some kids at his nursery are only there because of the funding and their only experiences of a lot of things mine would take for granted are through nursery (due to the area)

Original poster

Chulita · 07/12/2011 19:07

I'm not saying they're less deserving, not in the slightest. The soft play area can be booked outside of the two organised group sessions a week so there are 8 other time chunks they could book and have free rein.
Even if the children are funded, the nursery is paid to have them, they don't do it out of free will.
It doesn't piss me off either, I was just a bit but obviously it's an even split as to whether they should/n't be there.
Anyway, I was just wondering what others thought, I'm not going to complain to anyone about it!

OP posts:

slavetofilofax · 07/12/2011 19:11

YABU. As long as children are benefitting from something that you are not even paying for, I don't see why you have a problem.

And of course the staff don't put money in, they are working! The nursery could make a donation privately for all you know.

south345 · 07/12/2011 19:16

Our children's centre has a session just for childminders, some of us have 4 children with us so we could never get places on any sessions, don't think any nurseries go to the children's centre though.

They should all bring their own snacks though, speak to the children's centre.

thebigkahuna · 07/12/2011 19:29

YANBU.

But then I will probably be flamed for saying this but I don't understand why there are childminder only sessions at our local surestart either. It's a childminders job to look after and entertain children, for which they are paid. I don't think the government should run free sessions specifically to facilitate them in this.

Attending a private toddler group where there's an entrance fee, fine. But my surestart centre is closed to parents for two hours every Monday morning so that childminders can make use of the facilities.

slavetofilofax · 07/12/2011 19:48

It's a childminders job to look after and entertain children, for which they are paid. I don't think the government should run free sessions specifically to facilitate them in this.

Why should the government facilitate parents who have to look after and play with their children, who they chose to have? I don't think the government should fund Childrens centres at all.

GrownUpBelievesInSanta · 07/12/2011 19:54

I think it's great that local schools and nurseries use the children's centres, my DS used to love going on trips with his school nursery to the centre two minutes walk from the school. They tended to go at specific times for the school though, rather than taking over parent and child minder times.

Child minders had a special group, but also came to the general groups, and I think that's good too. Why not use the children's centres, they are marvellous facilities. Have done me massive good over the years supporting me as a single parent, helped me out with the bells on.

thebigkahuna · 07/12/2011 19:54

I don't believe I ventured an opinion as to whether surestart should be running at all, did I slavetofilofax?

Birdsgottafly · 07/12/2011 20:13

OP if you feel that it is damaging to the parents then have a word with the manager.

The reason that services are integrated is to bring a greater sense of community and to extend safeguarding.

Some of the facilities are part of The Early Years Strategy, these initatives came about after the worry of maternal deprivation. The is the worry that people will not use Childrens Centers because it is seen as being for disatvantaged families only, so a range of services is offered.

If they wasn't some of them would close through lack of use.

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