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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be weirded out

47 replies

missmalteser · 12/11/2011 17:39

That my mil just asked for a loan of a pair of my underwear? She was going straight out from playing sports and didn't want to detour home and as she was stopping at ours anyway called dh and asked him to ask me, I feel really grossed out about this and poor dh was mortified, so as not to drip feed I will add mil generally has some boundary issue, and this is not the first time although the time before I offered as she was caught in the same position but I had literally bought a new few pairs that day which she knew about, this time tho they were not new and she put me on the spot as she was already on her way here, tbh if this was a friend I would feel weird enough, but is this not in a whole other league? sorry for lack of paragraphs I am posting from my phone

OP posts:
PaintYouByNumbers · 12/11/2011 17:41

she asked to borrow your underwear?? Do tell us more about this strange boundary crossing MIL!

Tee2072 · 12/11/2011 17:42

Yuck.

SpicyMeatball · 12/11/2011 17:43

Hmm.. i would feel very weird about that also.. how strange?!

ENormaSnob · 12/11/2011 17:44

Give her some with gusset bleaching Wink

Shutupanddrive · 12/11/2011 17:45

Give her a g-string, that should stop her asking again

thousandDenier · 12/11/2011 17:45

I would not like that. I know that modern biological washing powder is a very effective cleaning agent but I'd have to throw away the pair she'd borrowed.

I'd always wonder, while DH was whipping me undercrackers off, if they were the ones that his mum's chuff had been in.

Original poster
missmalteser · 12/11/2011 17:45

Honestly I think I would be accused of trolling it out myself if I posted too much info, but let's just say she is very ahem, comfortable with her body and all it's functions, and is a bit of an exhibitionist, I do love her and she has a heart of gold so I hope this doesn't come across as yet another mil thread, but I am literally mortified and I also know she will think this is he funniest thing ever and not only tell everyone but show them too!

OP posts:
Cassettetapeandpencil · 12/11/2011 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ujjayi · 12/11/2011 17:46

Maybe I am not seeing the whole picture but I think YABU in so far as I would let her take a pair and then discard them once returned (should they be returned).

I don't think it is so weird but then I have 3 sisters and a huge number of female relatives and although I have never been asked this question I wouldn't be thinking she is BU. I think I would have preferred to have been asked direct rather than via DH.

Can I just add at this point that we do not make a point of sharing undergarments in this family but, in an emergency.........without being too graphic, if she has been playing sport perhaps her pelvic floor isn't what it should be? (I know, TMI)

Original poster
missmalteser · 12/11/2011 17:46

TD lol if she offers me them back I will die!

OP posts:
SpicyMeatball · 12/11/2011 17:49

ThousandDenier! Grin i'm crying with laughter!!

thousandDenier · 12/11/2011 17:50

If she has no boundary issues, she's bound to give them back! burn them

Original poster
missmalteser · 12/11/2011 17:52

I think I will have to say something to make her see this makes me feel v uncomfortable and deter her from asking again, see even with a family member etc i would make some sort of joke and tell them to keep them, but i am her sons wife, surely there are laws :(

OP posts:
ujjayi · 12/11/2011 17:58

but do you not see her as a family member, missmalteser? I appreciate that this is a rather extreme example of family sharing :o but she has become your family by marriage. How would you like it if she denied you a request because you are not family by birth?

Perhaps if you were able to share some of her examples of boundary issues then I might have a more sympathetic stance.

Original poster
missmalteser · 12/11/2011 18:06

I do regard her as family, we are close and I would do "almost" anything for her, but i also do the dirty with her son, and would rather go 5 minutes out of my way then ask her for a loan of underwear, but then i also find it strange when she asks to borrow my clothes as well? its not that i think I'm going to catch cooties, just that i don't want to be running around in the same outfits as my husbands mother, not to mention how weird that would make him feel?
I dont want to go into too many examples as i dont want to come across as bashing her, but the time we stayed in hers when dd was little and she done a dance while getting changed which ended with dd wearing her underwear on her head was a sign of things to come i suppose, oh the memories (winces)

OP posts:
Splinters · 12/11/2011 18:13

I'm getting v confused about whose underwear is whose now. Do you mean your DD ended up with her grandmother's underwear on her head?

wow.

SnapesMistress · 12/11/2011 18:15

We totally do need more examples of boundary crossing. I won't call troll I promise! :o

dandycandyjellybean · 12/11/2011 18:20

Buy a few cheap pairs to keep at yours for such occasions? Smile

Original poster
missmalteser · 12/11/2011 18:21

Yes her gm's underwear on her head, after they had been twirled thru the air in her direction, I am flushing up just remembering, but its the fact that I know she will think this is hilarious and proceed to show everyone in her company tonight my pants which is really making me itch, in front of dh, in the bar, probably while dancing on the table lol :o

OP posts:
ujjayi · 12/11/2011 18:21

oh gosh. You see now I am really wondering if I am also a bit weird Confused because I just think the story about dancing with her DGD and putting her knickers on her head is funny. I can imagine myself being uber silly with my DCs and, so long as they were CLEAN, I could see myself doing that. It isn't like she is putting dirty knickers on your DD........is it?

However, the idea of her wanting to dress like you.....yes, I can see that would be uncomfortable not just for you but also for your DH........that way lies the Kate & Carole Middleton unhealthily close relationship thing (although they are DM and DD so not sure if that makes a difference).

ujjayi · 12/11/2011 18:22

okay, am now going to drop all support for your MIL on the basis that she will be table dancing and announcing that she is wearing your personals in public.

YANBU

Original poster
missmalteser · 12/11/2011 18:28

she had just taken them of ujjayi, can i just clarify I was not posting about whether mil wbu to ask, just wibu to want to scream no from the rooftops.

OP posts:
Hannah31 · 12/11/2011 18:35

Can't really see the problem. But I expect that makes me a total loon. Lend her a manky (I mean old) pair. Or some mahoosive maternity ones.

Familyguyfan · 12/11/2011 18:35

I would never usually utter these words but ... Do you have any crotchless underwear which could make an appearance? Hopefully that would prevent her asking again.

On second thoughts, that might encourage her!

quietlyafraid · 12/11/2011 18:39

I always thought you can't return knickers to a shop for hygiene reasons unless they are faulty. I think this might need suggesting to her as being why its inappropriate.