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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send this text?

27 replies

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 25/10/2011 17:10

"In june we will we welcoming our 3rd child into the world, we are very happy to share this news with you, if you feel differently please respectfully keep it to yourself."

To all the family, since announcing ds and dd was greeted with really hurtful negative comments. Despite the fact we've never relied on any of them for anything.

OP posts:
MrsStephenFry · 25/10/2011 17:12

why text at all then?

LIZS · 25/10/2011 17:13

Seems a bit ott especially by text. Surely just saying you are happy to announce that you will be welcoming ... is enough.

KatieScarlett2833 · 25/10/2011 17:13

In my day it was "Fuck, I'm up the duff"

But each to their own and all that.... Grin

Magneto · 25/10/2011 17:14

Yanbu. How horrible of your family.

I fail to understand how some families are not overjoyed at the thought of a new baby in the family. My mum is ridiculously happy at every baby she hears about - even random cousins she hasn't seen for donkeys years.

By the way, Congratulations Grin now stop making me broody!!!

knitpicker · 25/10/2011 17:15

Don't send it, you'll come across as looney defensive. Re-phrase

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 25/10/2011 17:15

I'd say - Don't tell them.

When they eventually realise, and ask you why, you say "Because you said such hurtful things to us about X and Y that I really didn't feel I wanted to tell you, and have you ruin this happy thing for me."

mumto2andnomore · 25/10/2011 17:16

I would be the bigger person and just announce you are pregnant.

scarlettsmummy2 · 25/10/2011 17:17

If you know someone is likely to say something inappropriate why tell them to begin with? I would only text people I know will be happy for me, so the second part of your message is a bit pointless.

bumpybecky · 25/10/2011 17:17

I wouldn't tell the ones who were so negative last time and say exactly what Hecate said

bumpybecky · 25/10/2011 17:18

oh and congratulations :):)

I also had less than positive reactions to #3 (after stunned silence for #1 and again for #2) but by the time I got to #4 they were all nice comments! :)

porcamiseria · 25/10/2011 17:18

dont send this it makes you look crazy

banana87 · 25/10/2011 17:19

It's a bit passive aggressive I think. Why not just address the issue head on with those who have said hurtful things?

WardrobeYeti · 25/10/2011 17:20

Don't let them know, and when they find out and start making negative comments tell them to go do one.

Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 17:23

What things did they say Op?

only asking as it may have been more concern than nasty, but if you feel doubtful of that tbh I wouldnt tell them.

Like another poster said when they ask why you didnt tell them why.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 25/10/2011 17:25

I doubt I'd have the balls to send it. Me and dp just got another, "don't have any more" comment, thing is EVERYONE in the familys had 3,4,5 children.

I'm considering hectates approach. I just told a friend and she was lovely! Its so sad so many people are off hand :(

OP posts:
TheScarlettPimpernel · 25/10/2011 17:25

the thing is, if you send that, then even those who would be really happy for you get 'caught' in the negativity, IYSWIM?

Sorry you had such rotten responses before Sad. What was the deal?

ImperialBlether · 25/10/2011 17:27

I wouldn't tell anyone the news if I thought they would be nasty about it. How dare they! I'd leave them to find out for themselves.

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 25/10/2011 17:28

With ds our 1st, your too young, it will ruin your life, your totally ill equiped to be parents. And my favourite from my mum "selfish cow, you knew I wanted another"

Dds reactions, poor ds, you'll never cope, was it an accident, don't want to hear that don't even bother telling me. And again my mum, its just because I got pregnant isn't it.

OP posts:
TheScarlettPimpernel · 25/10/2011 17:29

Well how ghastly they sound.

I'd just rise above it in a cloud of happy family life to be honest. "I'm delighted to announce I'm pregnant again!"

Fuck 'em.

and congrats!

Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 25/10/2011 17:29

Scarlet, we were 18 and 21 when we concieved ds but we had our own home and dp was working in a well paid job. Ds was planned. Dd arrived when I was 20 and dp 22 and everyone said wed neglect ds :(

OP posts:
Original poster
JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 25/10/2011 17:31

Its such a mind fuck as they all adore ds and dd but I always have the comments echoing in my head

OP posts:
eurochick · 25/10/2011 17:31

Why tell them at all? They'll find out in due course no doubt. The text is unnecessary.

TheScarlettPimpernel · 25/10/2011 17:37

Hmm, you need to find a way of stopping the echo - from what anyone can gather on the thread you are so high up on the moral high ground here they can't even see you Grin

Hope you can put 'em all out of your head and just enjoy your family.

I also like Euro's idea - don't announce it, they'll soon realise!

Trills · 25/10/2011 17:39

I agree with TheScarlettPimpernel - if you send that then you are involving everyone in the negativity - even people who might not have been negative in the first place.

diddl · 25/10/2011 17:42

I wouldn´t bother to tell them tbh.

Then if they notice & ask why they weren´t told, tell them it´s because they are a bunch of killjoys you didn´t think that they´d be interested going on past reactions.

CONGRATULATIONSThanks

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