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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Found neighbour snooping in my side area...

92 replies

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 18/10/2011 23:33

I was just sitting in my back garden and heard unmistakable footsteps in the alley leading from the cul de sac...the alley is driveway really and accesable from the street....I was sittting very quietly so knew what I heard...I waited for about 3 seconds to see if they'd try the gate and nothing...so I got up and opened the gate...nobody there...but i KNEW I had heard somene...so went up the drive to look down the street and before I got to the end...one of my neighbours popped his head out from round my next door neigbours house..right by their front door...and he waved a carrier bag and said "Just checking what bins are meant to be out!" and left...

He had not NEEDED to come down my drive to do that...my bins are out in the road as are my next door nighbours.

Now not long ago I posted about this guy staing at my child when she plays out and I got totally bollocked on here for suspecting a man of "looking"

But now feel my instincts were right somehow....WHY was he snooping around my back gate in the dark at gone 11? He was definately right by my tall back gate as I heard his steps approaching...or leaving....I had beeen there for around ten minutes...sitting silently on my table under my patio umbrella.....( something I do often as I can think clearly...its like meditation) but because I only heard ONE set of footsteps it s conceivable that he was AREADY THERE when I went out and that after some time, he tried to sneak off...

There is no way the sound played a trick on me....he was RIGHT by my gate....and then seconds later he was apparently hiding round the sde of my neighbours home. What do I do??? DH almost went and knocked on the mans door but I dissueded him.

OP posts:
lisad123 · 18/10/2011 23:38

Get a CCTV camera and make sure all doors are locked! Sounds very odd to me. Why would he need to check what bins are out at 11pm and why so close to house!

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 18/10/2011 23:39

Perhaps he saw "a shadowy figure" lurking at your patio table and was worried it was an intruder/burglar and came to see. On realising it was in fact you, he tiptoed away, but you popped out so he was forced to say something...
Or maybe he is actually a modern day Sweeney Todd/Jack the Ripper and will break into your house at 3am and butcher you all in your beds, and we will weep and moan and tear our hair and gnash our teeth and say "ohhhh if only we'd been more suspicious we could have...um, er... well, been suspicious"
Just make sure all your doors and windows are locked, and if you hear a noise in the night, send DH to see what it is...
Or get your DH to knock (in the morning) and ask him straight out what he was doing? Just be careful he isn't perceived as threatening the neighbour or he could wind up in trouble himself.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 18/10/2011 23:41

I wouldn't have dissuaded DH to be honest. Tell him you've had a re-think and would like him to go over and have a talk with him.

What does this have to do with him 'looking' at your DD though? What do you think he's up to?

GlitterySkulls · 18/10/2011 23:41

i read your last thread regarding this guy, and thought he sounded a bit suss.

after tonights episode, i'm certain he's odd.

i'd just keep an eye out, and if anything really sets alarm bells ringing, call the local police station for advice.

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 18/10/2011 23:44

Its too late now isn't it? Quarter to 12 at night? Also he doesnt' look very well lately...he'svery yellow DH said.

The looking thing caused a hoo-ha on here for me and I flounced over it....he apears when DD is out on her bik and he faffs about with things in hs garage...or as DD told me, he stands in the garage with theoor half shut and looks.

when I asked on here about it people all said "Oh he can't even go in his garage ffs....stopcalling him a weirdo just cause he's a man!"

I am now really uncomfortable.

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Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 18/10/2011 23:45

DH just suggested he could be a a basic peepng tom?

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Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 18/10/2011 23:47

DH is on nights.He's getting ready to work. Sad

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ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 18/10/2011 23:48

Oh good god - I meant tomorrow not tonight Grin

I'd just tell DD to stay away from him and ignore him no matter how many sweets/lost puppies/hurt fingers he claims to have. I would be very very clear to her that no matter what he says, she's not to go into his house/up his drive.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 18/10/2011 23:49

Shame DH is going to work - but as he knows, you know (weirdy neighbour) he was there earlier, I doubt he'll be back tonight. Try not to worry.

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 18/10/2011 23:50

I keep thinking he know all the movements of the entire close!

OP posts:
BloodyGoreyHairyKnickers · 18/10/2011 23:52

But why would he have come looking tonight, when presumably he would realise a child would be in bed anyway?

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 18/10/2011 23:53

That's why DH thought he might just be a kind of peeping tom...what do they DO anyway?

OP posts:
horsemadgal · 18/10/2011 23:55

Does he know you sit out there? Might just like watching kids and women.

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 19/10/2011 00:02

He shouldn't know I sit here!

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Birdsgottafly · 19/10/2011 00:04

I posted on your other thread in part support for your suspicions.

Don't knock on his door, you will look like the aggresser.

If you want to you can phone the local police number tomorrow as he was on your property, late. They will have a word with him, other than that, lock up the house, even if you are sitting outside.

BloodyGoreyHairyKnickers · 19/10/2011 00:06

Perhaps it's you he wants to erm...speak to? maybe he was bringing wine...I don't know, but I'd be checking my locks and all; especially if your Dh is off to work over night!

scaryhairydroopytits · 19/10/2011 00:31

Does he live alone? (Sorry can't recall from previous post). Does he work / have family / friends visiting? Is there any reason at all that he could have been by your gate (looking for cat?). It sounds really odd.

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 19/10/2011 00:53

He has a wife which I never knew until recently. She goes to work early and comes back late...I dont see him with pets....

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Booooooyhoo · 19/10/2011 01:00

if one of my neighbours had been up my side alleyway as you describe i would sending the police round for a chat i'm afraid. and i dont care if others think that is OTT. i would want to be sending a very strong message to them that it wasn't to be happening again. regardless of their excuse. (his sounds pretty flimsy TBH anyway)

scaryhairydroopytits · 19/10/2011 01:03

Can you see through your gate into your garden then? It sounds odd but I can't put my finger on why...

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 19/10/2011 01:04

I've decided to call the police tomorrow about it...the non emergency number...even if it WAS some innocent reason he needs a kick up the arse. ou just don't do you?

As dh was getting out tonight, I looked up...along the back and I can see the guys bedroom winow...it had a light on...as we looked, the 2nd window (all houses here have 2 bedroom windows next to each other in the master) well his 2nd window opened...it felt like he was watching from there. We now realise he can see our back garden from his bedroom with really no effort.

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Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 19/10/2011 01:06

I was wondering that too hairy like he could have been looking through the gate?

It's a panel gate...about 7 feet high and with gaps which I think you might see through at certain angles

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Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 19/10/2011 01:07

If the police go round there, then they'll soon get the feeling if he is up to no good. And likewise they will know if he has past convctions...even if they don't tell me that.

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ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 19/10/2011 01:12

Sounds like a good plan. I assume you'll tell them how uncomfortable he's been making your DD feel?

Original poster
MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 19/10/2011 01:21

Well I'll have to....it's part and parcel

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