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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect DH to back me up?

44 replies

boohoobabywho · 16/10/2011 18:41

today my dd (7.9) came in and asked if she could help GND with a computer game and i said no, because BBF will be here in 5 mins. she began to argue and i said 'i have said no, becuase BFF will be here in 5 mins, so dont argue with me' this usually does the job.

But when BFF turns up DD is in GND house playing this computer game. I am really cross and have said that as a punishment she should not have anything out of the goodie cupboard for a week. i turned to DH who witnessed the whole thing and said... isnt that right... and he just shrugged!

thing is i always back him up, even if i think hes being a bit harsh, AIBU to want to ban his goddies for a week too?

OP posts:
cuttingpicassostoenails · 16/10/2011 18:42

GND?
BFF?

WTF?

BertieBotts · 16/10/2011 18:43

What is GND and BFF? Confused

worraliberty · 16/10/2011 18:43

GND? BBF? BFF? Confused

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/10/2011 18:44

Girl next door and best female friend?

Rindercella · 16/10/2011 18:45

I am the Queen of TLAs, but even I don't have a clue what you're on about OP!

microfight · 16/10/2011 18:45

????

troisgarcons · 16/10/2011 18:46

I have no idea what GND, a BFF or a BBF is or even if its relevent.

treats in this house are bought when earned ... not stock piled in a cupboard and used as tool for good behaviour.

A week for a 7yo is a bit harsh

worraliberty · 16/10/2011 18:46

Not to mention banning his 'goddies'...that sounds painful Grin

maras2 · 16/10/2011 18:48

Have you escaped from the other site for mothers ? There seems to be a bit of an exodus from there today.

Original poster
boohoobabywho · 16/10/2011 18:49

Girl next door and best friend forever... sorry bbf typo!

Just so mad......

a week for a 7 year old is a bit harsh... what do you suggest?

OP posts:
MistressFrankly · 16/10/2011 18:50

Yeah i think OP means girl next door and best friend forever but i am more intrigued by the ban his goddies for a week Confused i am presuming typo of goodies or is this some euphemism i dont know Grin or does he have small gods round for tea? i am so confused

Original poster
boohoobabywho · 16/10/2011 18:51

;) you know what i mean by goodies!

OP posts:
ChaoticAngelofSamhain · 16/10/2011 18:51

YANBU Your DH should have backed you up, at least in front of your DD.

MistressFrankly · 16/10/2011 18:53

Oh i know goodies but goddies are a new one on me Grin

DefectingMama · 16/10/2011 18:53

YANBU - DH should always back you up in front of the children even if YABU to them - which you were.

sunshinehugs · 16/10/2011 18:53

Regardless, your DP should have backed you up! Can't believe he just shrugged. What did he say after the matter? As for the existence of a goody cupboard, thats personal preference isn't it? Whether you buy before or after.

Original poster
boohoobabywho · 16/10/2011 18:57

so why was i being unreasonable to my dd if she had openly defied me by going to GND? she asked, i said no, she tried to argue i said no. she went anyway.

i know that shes only seven but soon she'll be 14 and i'll be telling her she cant go to the pub! if i cant control a 7 year old i'll have no hope when she's 14 will i?

I'm a great fan of nip it in the bud. she already wont listen to a word DH says, should i just rollover and let her do as she wishes?

OP posts:
ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 16/10/2011 18:58

YANBU - he should have backed you up.

However, I don't see why she couldn't go next door until her friend arrived.

But, as you said no and she went anyway - I'd probably ban her from playing with GND for a week, not not having treats.

Each to their own, however, and I agree DH needs his goodies banned too Grin

MangoMonster · 16/10/2011 19:07

YANBU, he should have backed you up in front of Dd and then taken it up with you afterwards if he had an issue.

Original poster
boohoobabywho · 16/10/2011 19:08

friend who was coming over was literally 3 mins away. thought about banning GND for a week, but they go to different schools and dont see each other in the week anyway.

I ban goodies because that works with her. When we go shopping she gets to choose a multipack of goodies (say 5 curly wurleys). they go in the goodie cupboard and when she has been especially good she gets to chose something to actually eat. this rewards her twice, once in the selection and once in the eating!

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 16/10/2011 20:03

Yes, he should have backed you up, but it does seem a bit harsh.

By the by, is a BFF a "best friend forever"??? Really? No offence but isn't it a bit care bear/playground?

I admit I may be behind the times though Confused

troisgarcons · 16/10/2011 20:07

BFF >vomit

Rindercella · 16/10/2011 20:47

Babywho, seriously I am unsure whether or not your DH was right or wrong in backing you. I guess he probably should in front of your DD. But then I think that you probably are not always right (I know I'm not!) when disciplining your children. Perhaps it just wasn't a big deal to him, hence the shrug.

However, I would be really careful in endorsing those terms you used in your OP - GND (girl next door) and BFF (best friend forever). The girls are 7 years old. The GND could very easily turn into the BFF in a blink of an eye.

The very fact you use them so freely in a casual post on a forum indicates your thoughts about your daughter's friends.

Friendships can change in seconds, days, weeks, years. It would make you a very wise parent to remove yourself as far as possible from any potential fall out.

Original poster
boohoobabywho · 16/10/2011 21:26

ok so tell me what i think about my daughters friends....?

OP posts:
Rindercella · 16/10/2011 21:31

Do you really believe a 7 year old child is going to be a friend forever of your child's? If not, then why use that slightly creepy term?

I have no idea what you feel about your daughter's friends. But if the language you used in this thread is the language you normally use in front of her then you are digging yourself a very large hole.

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