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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re GPs and bank accounts

60 replies

MamaGeekChic · 11/10/2011 19:46

MIL wants to open a bank account for DD (6mo) and I don't feel comfortable with it, I've suggested we open one and she can put money in that if she likes (although I'm not particularly fussed whether she does or not) but that's not what she wants apparently.... Would she be able to do it without our consent? Am I being unreasonable in asking her not too? Just so I'm not accused of drip feeding, our relationship has been tense since DD arrived...

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 11/10/2011 19:47

What would be the problem, exactly?

squeakytoy · 11/10/2011 19:47

Why dont you feel comfortable with it? You dont have to put any money in it. Unless there is a backstory, then yes YABU.

gordyslovesheep · 11/10/2011 19:47

why do you not want her to?

swallowedAfly · 11/10/2011 19:48

sounds like you wouldn't want her to have credit for leaving some money - what could be the problem with her having a separate account for dd? my parents have one for ds btw - it's none of my business really.

pinkhebe · 11/10/2011 19:48

my mother has one for our children, it's much easier for her to put the money in (we live 100 miles away) than send me a cheque.

I'm not quite sure why you don't want her to open an account (I'm probably being a dim though!)

EvilElizabethPonsonby · 11/10/2011 19:48

FIL needed our dd's BC to open one on her behalf ( we didn't have a problem with it, thought it was a lovely idea and something they had done for all the GC)

Sirzy · 11/10/2011 19:50

Unless your childs Grandparents are known to be bad with money then I really can't see why it would be an issue?

KatAndKit · 11/10/2011 19:50

I am not sure what the problem is, it isn't like the baby can go and withdraw all the money herself! I presume if the account is in your child's name, then she probably would need your consent.

When I read the title I was wondering what your doctor had to do with your finances!!

duvetdayplease · 11/10/2011 19:51

Hi, I don't know if YABU as not enough info really. Are you worried she'll put in loads that your daughter would then have access to without your say so later or something?

She can't do it without birth cert I think. Couldn't you just use the baby bond one (do they still exist?) or similar and say 'we're getting everyone to pay into one'.

DogsBeastFiend · 11/10/2011 19:52

AFAIK she would at least need your DCs birth certificate in order to open an account for them - or at least that was the case about 7/8 years ago when my mother opened accounts for my DDs on the behalf of my Grandad, who wanted to give them some savings for when they became of age.

I'm not too sure that I was comfortable with this at first. Had my Grandad opened the accounts himself I wouldn't have batted an eyelid but in my case my mother can be a bit controlling.

Any particular reason why you are put off by the idea, OP?

celebmum · 11/10/2011 19:54

She would need the childs birth certificate to be able to open any a/c in trust for the child. But she would be allowed to have one in her own name and just use this separately in exactly the same way.. (prob get better interest that way too as childrens a/cs are pretty poor at the mo)

Hth x

ScaryFairy28 · 11/10/2011 19:55

She'll need baby's birth cert to open it but dont see problem with it dd has one which gps put money in every month I really appreciate it as I'm skint and can't afford to put money away.

FabbyChic · 11/10/2011 19:55

She can open an account in your daughters name and Im not sure why you wouldnt want her to. The account will become your daughters when she is 7 I believe then she has to sign herself.

Let her do it and don't be so miserable.

Original poster
MamaGeekChic · 11/10/2011 19:58

I guess they have just tried to be very controlling so far and have undermined me at every opportunity. If my daughter is going to have a bank account then I feel it should be something we decide on and anyone who wants to (not that I expect anyone to) can pay into, but yet again they want one just for them. The fact that they aren't happy to pay into one we set up makes me feel that it's yet another power play. Hope that makes sense.

OP posts:
bagelmonkey · 11/10/2011 19:58

I think it would have to be a joint account until your DD is old enough to sign for her own account, so your MIL would retain control of all the money in the account. That might make the OP uncomfortable if other people were contibuting or if it was DD's only account.

Emsmaman · 11/10/2011 19:59

I may be "projecting" my family issues onto you, but is it because it would make the grandparent the administrator of the account? We have also had an argument with DH's parents as they want to do this for DD, and we don't feel it's right for them to have the control over the account (yes they can add money but in theory they could also take it out?!). In the end we agreed but privately we have said that the only money going in that account is what they give. If we receive any cheques etc for DD we will open an account for her personally.

nokissymum · 11/10/2011 19:59

Is there perhaps something confidential in dd birth certificate that you wouldnt want GP to see ?

Emsmaman · 11/10/2011 19:59

Sorry cross posts, I see your issue now

bagelmonkey · 11/10/2011 19:59

Let MIL open one, but open one yourself too?

Sirzy · 11/10/2011 20:00

In a way though I can see why they dont want to just pay into one you have opened. DS had a bank account I opened, I have the paying in book which is needed to pay in so if someone else wants to do it they have to give the money to me to pay in (normally it sits in the book for months til i remember!) or I have to give them the book to do it.

In that sense if they want an account they can put money into for there GC on an occasional basis (ie a dd wouldn't work!) it makes a lot of sense for them to have the account opened in your DD name.

whathappenedtom · 11/10/2011 20:06

My pil opened accounts for my dcs without birth certain because we wouldn't give them those, although offered to go with them to open accounts. We have nothing to do with the accounts. If dcs have money to put away, it would go in separate account, nothing to do with pil. Mine are definitely controlling but don't actually care on this one.

hellhasnofury · 11/10/2011 20:07

What about looking at a bond with Family Investments? My parents took these out for each of their grandchildren. DD's has recently matured (DD got it for her 21st birthday) but only she could claim it, all the paperwork had to be completed by her and not her grandparents.

whathappenedtom · 11/10/2011 20:07

Why should the grandparents 'see' a birth certificate

DogsBeastFiend · 11/10/2011 20:08

Do the GP by any chance want to control what goes out of an account and upon what it's spent? Is that why they are anxious to set up their own rather than use one set up and run by you?

Sounds like my DM all over again if so!

squeakytoy · 11/10/2011 20:08

Maybe they want to put their money into an account, so they know how much they have put in, and they can give it to their grandaughter.

Sounds quite normal to me.

Perhaps they worry that you might spend the money if they were to give it to you...

It isnt as if your daughter is going to know about it for a long time.. and does it really bloody matter who opens an account for her in the grand scheme of things???

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