To be cross with my au pair?

[MrsWentworth]

We have a Polish au pair, who gets my DD1 and DD2 ready for school while I get baby DD3 sorted out. It has been very cold here over the past couple of days and I asked her to make sure the DDs had their hats on. I had to go to the gym early today, so the au pair had to take the children to school. She has access to one of our cars in theory, but doesn't drive, so had to take them on the bus.

When I got back from the gym, the hats were still on the table in the hall, so she had obviously forgotten to put them on. AIBU to want to send her back to Poland?

Erm of course YABU. She forgot.

YABU, surely you are not immune to forgetfulness yourself?

It's not exactly Arctic temperatures just yet, I am sure they will be fine.

Not unreasonable at all. Send her back to Poland immediately, give up going to the gym and make sure your children always remember their hats. It's very cold on the bus.

DD1 gets bad earache in cold weather - which au pair knows.

Are you in UK? Its not that cold.

Well, in the extreme reaches of the UK - but it feels cold to me.

YABU

Send her back to Poland? I think you should send her to the North Pole. That'll teach her!

YABU but that doesn't really apply in a wind up situation!

Good god!!

This IS a wind up isn't it!??

I forgot to give ds2 his packed lunch this morning.

Perhaps I should bugger off to Poland too?

(ps, ds2 will eat today, I have just delivered his lunch to the office)

If you're that concerned why don't you make sure they have their hats rather than flit off to the gym? What is this, Upstairs bloody Downstairs?!

This has to do with control and knowing your place.
You employ her. You have told her what to do. She has disobeyed your commands
Punish her for her disobedience.

My God, she sounds absolutely hopeless, I don't know how you cope.

A tip regarding hats though, - I was prone to ear ache as a child, so my Mother stapled my hat to my head. HTH.

Yes send her back immediately and get Mr Sheen in to do the job

She forgot- she had 2 children to get ready and get out of the door in time to catch the bus , you had gone to the gym ( with baby 3 ? ) or did she have the baby as well ? Maybe next time if it is so vital shove the hats in the arms of the coats as routine so they are there in the morning.

"I had to go to the gym today" erm no you CHOSE to go to the gym today.
In the meantime your au pair is frantically gathering children and bags and trying not to miss the bus, and you're doing your nut because she forgot the hats?

I'd imagine Poland is looking pretty damn attractive to the poor girl right now.

YANBU
I would not tolerate this from a servant, either.
You exercise routine is critical, too. You should be able to go to the gym and abdicate all responsibility for your children to a (presumably young) immigrant.

You really cannot get decent staff these days.

If she doesn't drive, then she doesn't have access to your car does she? What a weird thing to even mention

Even in Stornaway, it's 12 degrees. Don't be so silly.

And you didn't have to go to the gym early, you chose to

Yabu. Everyone forgets things sometimes.
Especially if they're late for getting to the all important gym.

YABU and I assume this is a wind up.

If it were imperative they wore their hats, would you have been better to cancel your gym session to ensure they were worn, or would that have been a logistical nightmare?

How old are the DCs? Are they at an age where they can take responsibility for remembering to pick up their hat from the table, especially when the oldest knows the consequences of not wearing one in cold weather?

Also the Polish tend to know what really cold is and she probably thinks you're stark raving insane to want them sent out in hats when it really isn't cold yet!

Agree that this is a wind up btw.

KurriKurri that made me snort . Are you Lucy Mangan?