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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to consider emailing school about this?

53 replies

Helenagrace · 28/09/2011 18:38

My DS is in year one. His school have introduced a traffic light system for behaviour this academic year - green = good, red = bad, amber is a warning. DS was naughty at school last Friday so he went on the red traffic light. Fair enough, he deserved a sanction.

It now transpires that there is a termly reward for not moving off the green traffic light and a certificate and special assembly at the end of the year for those children who have been on the green traffic light all year.

So it would seem, and a conversation with the class teacher this evening would seem to confirm, that DS has now lost his reward for this term and for the year - three weeks into the year. There is no way of getting the rewards back. He doesn't get a new start until January now. He went back to the green traffic light on Monday but he has lost his place in the green folder until January.

AIBU to think this is just wrong? I have no problem with him being punished for naughty behaviour - he is a lively boy and is no saint by any means. It just seems very final and unforgiving to strip him of two rewards for one day's poor behaviour (his teacher has confirmed that he's been on the green traffic light up until now). There's also no point (in his eyes at least) in trying any more. He's lost his reward and can't earn it back. They've lost their big sanction three weeks into the term.

I am on the verge of emailing the school to ask to see the head or deputy. I have a politely drafted email ready to go.

So mumsnet jury...do I press send or not?

OP posts:

JaneFonda · 28/09/2011 18:40

This is a bit petty for you to get so wound up about; is there a weekly reward? If so, you should leave it. If not, maybe suggest to school about there being a weekly reward? Children tend to react better to rewards/punishments that happen either immediately or within a short space of time, not by waiting until January.

JaneFonda · 28/09/2011 18:41

By the way, just be warned that if you do send them an email they will probably laugh about you behind your back. :o

Feenie · 28/09/2011 18:41

Fantastic, a system that rewards children who are always good!

Surely there are smaller rewards for children who are on the green for a shorter time than a term? I'm sure there will be, I can't see any school using such a complex reward system that only works over a full term!

RattusRattus · 28/09/2011 18:42

Hmmm. I agree with the termly thing, but not with the end of year assembly. Continuing the sanction through the year, including holidays is like going to bed on an argument and is representative of grudge holding.

Depends on what your email says TBH on whether you send it or not. If it was me I'd ask to see the teacher F2F and talk about it then.

picnicbasketcase · 28/09/2011 18:42

I think rewards like that are utter balls, and would be very tempted to email too. Your poor DS could well start feeling like there's no point in good behaviour if it's already ruined for the whole term anyway. Absolute crap.

DS's school have the award for attendance which is shite - children can't help being ill, and going in whilst they are ill makes others ill too - hardly something to reward.

Birdsgottafly · 28/09/2011 18:42

The time scale is a bit long for the age of them, it would be better for it to be monthly, even.

thisisyesterday · 28/09/2011 18:43

ugh i cannot stand this traffic light system, or similar things

and this is one reason why. even if you go in for incentives and punishments, as you point out they;'ve shot themselves in the foot now. hhe has no incentive to behave cos he can't ever get the reward.

utterly ridiculous, and yes, i would talk to them about it and how stupid it is

LynetteScavo · 28/09/2011 18:43

Sounds like the school my DS used to go to. They also lost golden time on a Monday if they had come off green the week before. So a 5 year old could talk during register on a Tuesday and have to miss some golden time the following Monday. Stupid IMO.

I would have complained, but I had bigger things to complain about at the time and DS never, ever came off green.

I think you have a fair point. Press send.

soverylucky · 28/09/2011 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort · 28/09/2011 18:45

Our school has a system like that - sessions were held (at varying times) to clearly explain the system - hardly any parents bothered to turn up. Did you have that option?

I wouldn't send an email, it will make you look like an idiot - go and discuss it in person with a member of staff if you feel that strongly.

mustdash · 28/09/2011 18:45

DCs school does this, and I have had that conversation. Nothing changed.

BUT I totally agree with thisisyesterday.

send send send

Original poster

Helenagrace · 28/09/2011 18:45

Just to clarify there is a bit of random giving out of stickers and two children from each class get a merit award in the Friday assembly (although I suspect this just gets rotated and they find things to reward the children for). There are no class based weekly or daily rewards.

OP posts:

MummRaTheEverLiving · 28/09/2011 18:45

Just consider the opposite POV from another parent.
"My little Joey has been a good biy all year, his name has never been off the green traffic light. But now at the special assembly lots of children who have been on the red light are getting the same reward as him. He thinks there is not point in trying anymore."

shesparkles · 28/09/2011 18:46

OP your child must be at the same school as mine! Our primary school uses this exact method for discipline and quite frankly, it sucks...especially when a teacher interprets the rules according to whim-or so it seems with ds's teacher this year.

Ours has a weekly reward for being on green all week, which is extra playtime on a Friday morning.

I have an issue with the termly reward thing, because once it's been lost, what incentive is there for a child to behave for the rest of the term?

I actually have a meeting scheduled with ds' teacher tomorrow about her inconsistent approach (and ds is certainly no PFB, I'm well aware of his faults), because in the 3 years the school's been running this system, this is the 1st time there's been an issue with consistency

hocuspontas · 28/09/2011 18:48

Agree with Feenie. MN is constantly going on about 'my good, unnoticed child'. This is for them!

I'm sure that this isn't the only incentive otherwise by Easter there would be only a handful of children behaving themselves.

Feenie · 28/09/2011 18:48

I am fairly certain there will be interim rewards here, not just a termly one.

MummRaTheEverLiving · 28/09/2011 18:49

Just read your latest post.
FFS! The merit award in Friday assembly?
If the reward was purely on effort/achievement then some children would never get on and the parents would moan. If the merit is awarded in a more "rotated" way, the parents moan.
Teachers don't stand a bloody chance, do they?!

PeelThemWithTheirMetalKnives · 28/09/2011 18:58

Hmm, difficult. I was all for those who transgressed being able to wipe out their bad behaviour with say, x days of good behaviour, but then somebody posted about how it wouldn't be fair to the year-round good behavers if somebody less than perfect got an award.

Maybe the yearly award should be gold, silver and bronze so different categories and everyone still has a chance even if they get it badly wrong near the start of the year?

I think I would email but word it diplomatically!

Original poster

Helenagrace · 28/09/2011 18:59

MummRa I don't have a problem with the way they do Friday assembly merits. You're right some children would never get on if it was all on merit. I was trying to explain their strategy.

OP posts:

slavetofilofax · 28/09/2011 19:00

I would talk to the school about this, it is completely wrong that such small children are effectively punished for something they did months ago. Every week should be a fresh start imo.

TheFallenMadonna · 28/09/2011 19:05

I think that being that well behaved for a whole year is pretty impressive and worthy of celebration IMO.

TheFallenMadonna · 28/09/2011 19:06

They are not being punished. They are not being rewarded for being well behaved all year. Because they haven't been.

Insomnia11 · 28/09/2011 19:07

Surely he isn't being punished further, it's just that other children are being rewarded.

I think the ones that have been good all year should be rewarded.

exoticfruits · 28/09/2011 19:09

I think that he can get other rewards, this is special for those who never got off the green and I think that they deserve something-those who are always good tend to be overlooked.
Your DC now knows the system-all you need to to say to him is 'try harder next term'.

Insomnia11 · 28/09/2011 19:09

Also if the ones who have been naughty are still eligible for the termly/yearly rewards, that's completely unfair to the ones who actually have been good all term/year. Basically it teaches the kids that you can be naughty and get away with it. YABU.

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