to consider emailing school about this?

[Helenagrace]

My DS is in year one. His school have introduced a traffic light system for behaviour this academic year - green = good, red = bad, amber is a warning. DS was naughty at school last Friday so he went on the red traffic light. Fair enough, he deserved a sanction.

It now transpires that there is a termly reward for not moving off the green traffic light and a certificate and special assembly at the end of the year for those children who have been on the green traffic light all year.

So it would seem, and a conversation with the class teacher this evening would seem to confirm, that DS has now lost his reward for this term and for the year - three weeks into the year. There is no way of getting the rewards back. He doesn't get a new start until January now. He went back to the green traffic light on Monday but he has lost his place in the green folder until January.

AIBU to think this is just wrong? I have no problem with him being punished for naughty behaviour - he is a lively boy and is no saint by any means. It just seems very final and unforgiving to strip him of two rewards for one day's poor behaviour (his teacher has confirmed that he's been on the green traffic light up until now). There's also no point (in his eyes at least) in trying any more. He's lost his reward and can't earn it back. They've lost their big sanction three weeks into the term.

I am on the verge of emailing the school to ask to see the head or deputy. I have a politely drafted email ready to go.

So mumsnet jury...do I press send or not?

"I think the ones that have been good all year should be rewarded"

We have system like this at my dc's school.

Ds has already screwed his chances of a reward. He has asd and no allowances are made for him.

"Surely he isn't being punished further, it's just that other children are being rewarded.

I think the ones that have been good all year should be rewarded."

Agree with Insomnia, Madonna et al

Hopefully your ds has learned an important lesson and will be more careful in future. I think to complain is totally over the top and yes, you will be laughed at for being very precious.

doesnt seem too bad for me, my dd got a reward for being on green last year (ds is another story!). In our school there are some rewards like pupil of the day etc that tend to go to children who struggle a bit more with behaviour so its a shorter term goal so they do still get something its just that children who behave the whole year also get noticed at the end of the year as well. I think its a lovely idea as my dd is often sort of lost in the crowd as she is in a class of three quarters boys and many who seem very "lively"

If the reward is for behaving all year, then why should he get a reward when he has not behaved all year?

He is not being punished, just not rewarded for something he has not done anyway. Expecting him to be rewarded for something he has not achieved is encouraging a sense of entitlement.

I disagree with schools that make award for not missing school, as that is discriminating against children who get ill during school time which they have no choice in, but they do have a choice in regards to misbehaviour. Not getting ill is not an acheivement, behaving well is. Workplaces would never be allowed to do this, so why schools.

Shagmundfreud that's awful. ASD / ADHD children aren't included in the scheme as DS's school.

OK I can see it from the other point of view. DS is normally good - a little lively but not usually naughty. Perhaps I would feel the same way if the time involved was 7 days not 100 days.

Do people not feel that all children can have an off day - because they're unwell / tired / something going on at home? Three of those in the year and you've lost all your rewards. That's my issue.

Workplaces do do it. Mine does! Only v minor (prize draw entry), but still...

No, being tired is not an excuse that means they should avoid punishment or be given a reward. Besides he has not lost a reward, as he never had it in the first place since it was decided at the end of the year. If they are that unwell the parents are wrong for sending them to school, if they are tired the parents shoudl be getting them to bed on time, and if the parents are behaving in such a way as to cause th echild to misbehave at school, then they need to be addressing these issues before complaining their child is not getting a reward.
At the end of the day the reward is for those who behave well all year, he did not so does not get the reward.

Ussain Bolt messed up and made a false start and was disqualified from the race in the athletics championship recently, he did not get an allowance made for being the fastest man, he just had to take it on the chin, neither would he if he was running and got cramp, or felt tired etc and lost. people including children should not expect rewards for acheivements they have not made.

my ds2 who goes to a sn school they have star of the week in each class

fallenmaddona, your workplace rewards people for not getting ill. I would make a real stink if mine tried that.

You're looking at it wrong OP

You're hasn't lost those rewards because he hasn't earned them.

Hopefully, there'll be half termly/termly rewards too but the school are quite rightly rewarding the massive achievements of those who have managed to stay green all year.

As you said yourself....children can have off days because they're unwell.tired/something going on at home. Yet these children have managed not to let those things affect their behaviour and that's some thing to celebrate.

Your child has lost nothing.

The traffic light scheme sounds like it is being abused, I have only seen it used the other way round, as a way for pupils to feed back their confidence levels to a teacher on a given topic.

But the scheme itself doesn't sound bad, but there absolutely ought to be a way to work his way back up, otherwise what incentive is there for him for the rest of the year?

I wouldn't email though, I would just mention your concern to a teacher when you see them next.

There is literally no way to reward or sanction in primary school that does not piss someone off ime

So for that reason, yabu. Leave it.

The traffic light system is ACE, however, our school seem to have a good balance between rewarding good behaviour as equally as rewarding improved behaviour.

The reward for a term's worth of GREEN is better than for improved (though some children are naturally good - my son maybe a PITA at home at times but adores nothing more than pleasing his teachers, its easy for him to stay on green) there is also a reward for those that have moved beyond their 'start' colour. My friend's son was given a small gift and a huge round of applause for being on amber more than he'd been on red, likewise a girl in my son's class was given a slightly more interesting reward and a huge round of applause for moving onto green for a full 3 weeks....

My son's school acknowledges great behaviour, but also acknowledges improvement, and I think that is absolutely right.

By the way, when I talk about rewards, there was a pencil, ruler, eraser and notebook as 'top' prize, and many many smaller prizes of the same things individually.

Yet there is still unfairness there, the most improved child has worked harder in some ways, but if you reward them most it becomes unfair again... the child that's always good thinks 'why did I bother being good all the time?'.

YANBU OP, but fairness is a very very slim tightrope... when my son got upset WE rewarded him at the end of term with a PS3 game he'd been craving (a very very rare treat seeing as we try to limit his time on electronic devices and unfortunately Santa doesn't bring these things!) so at least he felt his efforts were appreciated, and although he's consistently good DH and I KNOW he must put in a lot of effort.

It's wrong OP but becuase as Psychs will always tell you awards should be achievable and if a child moves off the green on day one that removes their motivation to try doesn't it? Absolutely one level of reward for those who have been good all year but tehre should always be something to aim for.

Ah Kelly can I come live in your world please? Tired ds2 always told off- becuase his autistic brother keeps waking him.

This sort of rewared scheme works woner with some ASD kids (especially if tailored to their particualr likes) but needs to be done one to one not as a group otherwise you get aprents asking why your child is rewarded for lower targets adn if you are really lucky banging on your door with threats.

Bitter, me?

But if the 'good' children are tired/unwell etc and can still stay on green, why shouldn't they be rewarded? Anyway, if a child IS unwell, I'm sure the teacher would take that into consideration. With the traffic light systems, it won't be that every minute of every day that the children will be under scrutiny and a warning will be given anyway E.g. 'If I have to ask you to stop talking again you will go onto amber'.

He'll remember for next term and next year and the year after that etc. If they don't stick to their guns, what's the point? Don't worry, your ds won't be the only one without a reward but he might try very hard to stay green next time.

Or he might feel like a failure and give up

Different kids have different resilience levels

Sriously it's a good system but only if there is always soemthing left to aim for, even if just a small priveledge like 5 minute's extra play

Whatever the 'ins and outs' of it-pick your battles and this isn't one of them. If you want to be taken seriously in the future don't waste time on trivialities.

peachy,
But being tired is not an excuse for being a little arse. It is up to the parents to ensure they get a good night's sleep even if that means moving their rooms etc. Children have to learn that even if they are tired misbehaviour is wrong.
What is the point in saying as long as you are tired act like a brat and you will get a reward. And to be honest the idea that the child has to be told that even if he misbehaves he will get a reward as otherwise he will be a brat anyway is rather entitled. They should be told that their bad behaviour means they will not get a reward, but they can try again next year. presumably the school has a punishment system for those who keep misbehaving to give them incentive to behave.

I have a quick question, does this system replace a final grade for behavior in the kid's report, or is their grade calculated based on the traffic light thing ?

And how low does the behavior grade and/or traffic light score have to go before it has repucussions, like being failed for the year ?

so you've said there is stickers and a weekly award too - presumably he'll get these if he behavesreasonably ok and maybe in fact everyone will get one at some stage. So whats the problem - he won't get the big award at year end but he's not entitled to it

And to be fair Kelly I have never said that, I am a strict aprent and expct high standards

But it remains that the fault of a child being tired may not rest with crap aprenting, sometimes it is unavoidable becuiase of a harsh situation; different rooms not always possible after all, and in favt mine are in different rooms and it would take different roads not to hear ds1 at times!

Just wondering how well your son understood the system and the ramifications of getting Amber or red if it was a new system? How does it compare with the systems they would have had in place last year?

I suspect that with a new system like this that there are a few early losers who forget about it, misbehave without realising the consequences and then they're stuffed for the rest of the year but used as an example to everyone else of what could happen.

If it's the class naughty boy then hey it would have probably have happened anyway so nothing lost. But if it's a kid who is good most of the time and just an unfortunate confluence of bad day for teacher, tired grumpy kid being egged on by someone else or whatever that would happen with this kid maybe once a term or a year but once they were used to the system they would be able to behave then it is really harsh.

Have they given plenty of reminders of the long term side of this as well as the immediate effects?