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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this is bullying behaviour

40 replies

dontquotem3 · 24/09/2011 18:20

More of a wwyd, but need good advice please mn'ers.

So my 12 yr old DD comes downstairs, I see that she is upset and ask her what's the matter. Out come a torrent of tears through which she tells me that she's just received two phone calls from 'friends' at school, one was a hang up and on the other she heard one of these 'friends' telling her brother to say nasty things to her like your stupid, fat, ugly and your breath smells.

These girls called later on in the afternoon, I answered my DD's phone ans started recording the call (div that I am only got my side of the conversation). A lot of them asking who I was and where is my DD, swearing and suchlike. I heard threats against my DD in the background and my DD recognised the person making these threats an older girl in her school who is cousin to one of this group of girls.

This could not have come at a worse time as I am recovering from double jaw surgery but will be damned if I do not do anything about this come monday morning

WWWYD

Thanks in advance

OP posts:
belledechocchipcookie · 24/09/2011 18:22

It is bullying, you need to go and see the head. Poor DD, they sound like evil cow's. Sad

NiceAcorn · 24/09/2011 18:24

Yes, this is bullying. If its going on at home, it's going on at school too, I think. The schools's website might havine their anti-bullying procedure, so maybe talk to your daughter & look at the website?

ujjayi · 24/09/2011 18:27

Absolutely bullying behaviour. I agree with NiceAcorn that this is more than likely going on at school too. Speak with the Head first thing on Monday.

pigletmania · 24/09/2011 18:28

oh no thats so Sad, I would go to the headteacher. Is your daughter on FB or any other social networking sites, I would monitor those closely if she is. If the school is inaffective, go to the police if they are making threats. That is a criminal matter.

Original poster
dontquotem3 · 24/09/2011 18:32

I'm really sure if she is on FB she tells me no but I don't believe her, been having a tough time with her and not sure really what to do. I don't think she trusts us as her parents, so if this is going on at school anyway, I think it may be a trial getting anything out of her, she's so closed.

So straight to the head then?

OP posts:
pigletmania · 24/09/2011 18:34

Also go to the police, they are ringing outside school this is a criminal matter.

troisgarcons · 24/09/2011 18:36

Quit with the bullying thing immediately - some schools wont take issue if its outside school - BUT such phone calls fall foul of the Telecommunications Act and you should involve the police.

A bit of a hardline stance but just chop away the deadwood and go to the top of the tree.

Dont answer the phone - let the texts come through - that would be your evidence.

pigletmania · 24/09/2011 18:38

harrassment is seen as a criminal offence now, so definitely the Police, as trois says keep records of any texts and phone call messages.

ilovesooty · 24/09/2011 18:40

I'd involve the police too. Your poor daughter.

Mitmoo · 24/09/2011 18:43

Not sure whether to say nothing right now, wait for the next one which there will be, and get them recorded properly so you have evidence. I wouldn't want them to get away with lying and denying it. Bullies are generally very very stupid and will give you the evidence you need, particularly young ones as they are stupid and less experienced.

Try to get evidence if you can.

pigletmania · 24/09/2011 18:45

I would contact the police now and see what they say.

StewieGriffinsMom · 24/09/2011 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 24/09/2011 18:54

yes definitely the Police and Headteacher

wantadvice · 24/09/2011 18:57

I second police as well as school.

BlowHole · 24/09/2011 19:00

Definitely go to the police, as you would if they were adults.

wellwisher · 24/09/2011 19:04

can you do 1571 to see where the call came from? Should work if nobody else has rung since then. YANBU.

youarekidding · 24/09/2011 19:09

Definatly the police re phonecalls.

Not a lot you can do re FB as your DD under 13. Thats not a critisism just that you may find it easier to close her account if it's happening as I don't think the police can do anything if your DD using it illegally iyswim?

You poor DD though Sad

And poor you too Sad that surgery sounds painful and now this.

Original poster
dontquotem3 · 24/09/2011 19:11

What we know and can prove is where the calls came from and at what time. What we cannot prove is what was said in the duration of said calls. Talking is not easy right now like I said I'm recovering from Jaw surgery. Just looked at an anti-bullying website seems incidents that have happened outside of school may not be followed upon within school. I'll still be going up there on monday though!

OP posts:
herbietea · 24/09/2011 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Proudnscary · 24/09/2011 19:13

Gutted for you and your dd Sad...I would take action immediately. Go up to the school.

pigletmania · 24/09/2011 19:17

and the Police op

ScarlettIsWalking · 24/09/2011 19:19

That is really horrible. Please report with the police and school asap.

Your poor girl.

ddubsgirl · 24/09/2011 19:22

some kids did this they got my number from sons diary and rang me,i reported it to the school and as i have caller id i had the number lol kid had parents called in and had his phone taken and blocked!
change her number and report to the police & the school x

bringbacksideburns · 24/09/2011 19:30

Can you trace the numbers and report to the police?

TheMonster · 24/09/2011 19:32

I'd go to the police.

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