to think that this is bullying behaviour

[dontquotem3]

More of a wwyd, but need good advice please mn'ers.

So my 12 yr old DD comes downstairs, I see that she is upset and ask her what's the matter. Out come a torrent of tears through which she tells me that she's just received two phone calls from 'friends' at school, one was a hang up and on the other she heard one of these 'friends' telling her brother to say nasty things to her like your stupid, fat, ugly and your breath smells.

These girls called later on in the afternoon, I answered my DD's phone ans started recording the call (div that I am only got my side of the conversation). A lot of them asking who I was and where is my DD, swearing and suchlike. I heard threats against my DD in the background and my DD recognised the person making these threats an older girl in her school who is cousin to one of this group of girls.

This could not have come at a worse time as I am recovering from double jaw surgery but will be damned if I do not do anything about this come monday morning

WWWYD

Thanks in advance

Bitches! God these types of kids make me want to smack their arses! Can you go and see their parents with the texts as proof??
Get a dictaphone and get dd to tape the next call make sure she puts call on loudspeaker then announce after she taped it and before she hangs up that the call was recorded so she's covered her back.
She must be worried the poor thing :(
I would ring police as well

Thanks for your replies and advice guys.
Going to try the 101 out of hours number.

Damn straight chundle that is exactly what I want to do but cannot. I sense that nothing much has changed from when I went to school!
I have warned my DD about certain types of girls and advised her to choose her friends carefully, but once they are there they're gonna do as they want and pick who they want for friends. It's such a shame that sometimes children see us parents trying to help them make good choices as something to rebel against. I hope my DD and I both learn from this.

Thanks to you all

Well I just came off the phone to the police who state that they cannot record what happened today as a crime as the girls involved are under sixteen. They advised me to contact my DDs phoned provider to get number blocked and that they would pass the info I've given them on to the safer neighbourhood team and have them come and speak to my DD. Also advised that I should speak to school.

I am fuming, I hope these girls don't phone again tomorrow, we'll see. Pretty dumb though, witheld number and all that

The age for criminal liability in the UK is 10, they can't prosecute under this age as they are not deemed responsible. I'd call them back as this info sounds incorrect.

bellcookie what is it that the police are able to do in a situation like this?

Dialling now then...

They are under a legal duty to investigate this, you need to remind them of this. Tell them you are making a complaint. Your DD isn't responsible for this.

Someone on here (I'm sorry, I've forgotten who) recommended a book called Bullies, Big-Mouths and So-Called Friends by J. Alexander.

I just bought it from the Waterstones website and although I haven't read much of it yet it does seem to be offering some good advice.

My LO is only two and a half and it worries me that he might one day be bullied. I was bullied when I changed schools at the age of 11 and my DH was bullied by an older boy who had been friends with DH's older brother until they had a falling out.

Neither of us handled it well and our parents didn't seem to know what to do either. Mine went into school to talk to the head teachers and the worst of the bullying stopped. But DH's parents just told him to ignore it or fight back. He suffered for four years before finally fighting back.

When I think about LO being bullied it makes me feel ill, so I'm hoping the book will help (really I'm hoping I never need the book) if the time comes.

I hope you can get this sorted out, you and your daughter must both feel terrible right now. Do you know why this might have started?

Off the phone again. This time was told that details will be passed on to police who will them make an appointment to come and see my DD. I should hear from them this evening.

That was quick.As I type Croydon police just phoned to say they'll be round at 9am tomorrow. So I'll take it from there.

Thanks herbietea in all honesty I wouldn't have called back!

Book sounds good, thanks TTOHFAS. Maybe indirect advise will work better for my DD. Time and time again the things I tell her are borne true and I'm just so ffing mad that these girls thinks they can flounce around and have people follow behind them like they're something! I can just see it now in me minds eye. Disgusts me!

Thats good, I thought that sounded a bit odd, its 10 under the age of criminal responsibility, not 16.

Hi, Good morning. How did it go with the police?

did the police come?