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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To chuck My 18 yo Daughter out????????????????????????????

29 replies

Tortington · 21/09/2011 13:03

Lots of question marks in the title definitely chav it up don't they Grin

i am posting in AIBU becusae i want you to tell me i am.

18 yo dd, works and goes to college another town over, stays at her partners flat all week, msybe comes home once a week.

i love her to bits, shes everything to me - but i want her bedroom Smile

dh snores and i fancy my own space. aibu to literally take thebed my daughter sleeps on away from her:?

OP posts:
Huffythetantrumslayer · 21/09/2011 13:05

Can you stay in there when she's at her dp's and let her have it on the weekend or whenever she's with you?

TheVermiciousKnid · 21/09/2011 13:06

YABU. Chuck your husband out instead. He is the one who is distrubing the peace at night. Grin

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/09/2011 13:07

I don't think it's all that U, tbh. She's an adult with a job and has 99% left home by the sound of it. All she needs now is a gentle shove in the direction of getting her own place.... ask for more contribs to the household budget/chores/etc.

RedRubyBlue · 21/09/2011 13:08

I left home at 17 and my Mum rented my room out. Now that hurt!

Can't you get bunkbeds and be 'roomies'?

diddl · 21/09/2011 13:08

Does she stay over at the w/end at all or just bring dirty washing over?

If she doesn´t stay, then has essentially moved out & I´d take the room back-or at least use the bed!

ConstanceNoring · 21/09/2011 13:09

chav Grin

Yep, use the bedroom when she's not there, at least then you'll get some nights of rest. Buy some earplugs for the other nights, - actually wear them every night as you'll probably still be able to hear DH from another room if he snores anything like mine Hmm

fedupofnamechanging · 21/09/2011 13:09

I think you should wait until she is ready to move out herself. You wouldn't want to rush her into living properly with someone if she isn't quite ready and you wouldn't want her to think she doesn't have a home with you. 18 is still very young.

I'd use her room when she is away or send dh to the doctor to try and get something done about the snoring.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 21/09/2011 13:10

I was gonna suggest bunkbeds too....could be fun :)

planetpotty · 21/09/2011 13:10

Awww poor DD, (YABU - in the nicest possible way) you may be surprised how upsetting it would be for her not to have her room there, I agree get the DH on a sofa bed or maybe buy some ear plugs Grin

planetpotty · 21/09/2011 13:10

YY to bunkbeds - as long as the boyfriend does not say over!

diddl · 21/09/2011 13:11

"aibu to literally take thebed my daughter sleeps on away from her:?"

But you´d only borrow it when she´s not the really?

You´re not planning to take over the bedroom & make it unusable to her?

Are you?

AandK · 21/09/2011 13:12

Seriously?? No do not kick your daughter out!!!

Just use her bed while she's away then go back to your husbands bed when she's home.

She's too young and its too expensive for her to afford her own place yet, she's too young to be settling down with her partner and you forcing her to live with him permanently could damage her relationship.

You have to put up with your husbands snoring, you chose him!!!

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld · 21/09/2011 13:19

I agree with TheVermiciousKnid. There's nothing, AFAICR, in the vows about having to put up with snoring Grin

Original poster
Tortington · 21/09/2011 13:23

oh yes, i was planning to take over the room, re=paint it, move my dressing table in etc. don't want to share with a teenager really - so its chuck her out or get earplugs

Grin

too much?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tortington · 21/09/2011 13:25
OP posts:
ConstanceNoring · 21/09/2011 13:25

evil

What does DH think about it? or haven't you told him your plans yet? Grin

Original poster
Tortington · 21/09/2011 13:33

hes trying/planning to lose weight,

i'm planning what paint to buy Grin

OP posts:
ConstanceNoring · 21/09/2011 13:50

Interesting, I'm sure DH's snoring has increased with his waistline too...

TheVermiciousKnid · 21/09/2011 13:53

The shed is a very good idea. I can hear my husband's snoring from all every room in the house. I think putting up a hammock in the shed for him would be perfectly reasonable.

planetpotty · 21/09/2011 13:54

Ha ha your DD is still a teenager she may just unleash the teenage wrath on you and teach you a lesson (paint used to writ on walls dont mess with my room Mum!!) Grin

In all seriousness even the suggestion of this may really upset your DD AND she may think you and DH are having problems and its the begining of the end :(

Get earplugs - make DH loose weight - Tell him your too tired to perform wifely duties due to the bloody snooring that should get him down the gym :)

Ifancyashandy · 21/09/2011 13:58

Nah - YNBU! My lovely mum, who I did and still do get on every well with said when I was 18, 'If you want to move out, feel free! We don't want you to but we'll understand if you do and we'll help with 1st months rent & deposit'.

I moved in with mates before you could say 'who's doing my washing'!

She doesn't have to move in with her bloke - there's a middle ground. Tell her about the parties she can have!

diddl · 21/09/2011 14:41

"too much?"

Just a tad, perhapsGrin

Why would you need to repaint & move furniture in rather than just use the bed?

squeakytoy · 21/09/2011 14:43

At 18, she is quite likely to not be in this relationship for ever, so then what would you do? I left home, went back, left again, went back until I was nearly 30 Grin

RedRubyBlue · 21/09/2011 14:47

What posters will you put on your walls? Justin Bieber is well wicked, innit.

Maryz · 21/09/2011 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.