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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think mil has lost the plot?

29 replies

cookie9 · 17/09/2011 13:26

I am 32 weeks pregnant and mil lives one hour drive away. Dh and I have offered to visit her to help her look for a new pc. Dh mentioned that I may have to use the loo after being in the car for an hour and mil has said that I cant use the loo in the house because the house is u tidy so can use the one in the converted garage instead ie the one full of cobwebs and spiders. WTF?!

I swear I have been toilet trained for several years now.

AIBU to feel a bit miffed? Should I put a potty in our garden shed for when she visits?

OP posts:
Mightimama · 17/09/2011 13:31

Tell her to find her own new PC. You are the ones doing her the favour.
Wierdo. Hmm

TrillianAstra · 17/09/2011 13:34

If you are driving for an hour to do someone a favour they should offer you a cup of tea at the very least, with a Biscuit. Refusing you entry to the house is very odd.

CrystalTits · 17/09/2011 13:34

Or tell her that as your car is so v tidy, she won't be able to travel in it with you to help her find a new PC.

Bonkers.

esselle · 17/09/2011 13:35

The weirdo has at least and hour to tidy up/clean.

Tell Dh to go alone!

welliesandpyjamas · 17/09/2011 13:37

Maybe she needs help with staying on top of things at home as well? Is she struggling or has always been very untidy? It must be very embarrassingly bad for her to suggest you use the garage toilet. Can you stop at a garage or supermarket just before you get there? And then maybe your dh could help her with the house? Or at least get rid of the garage cobewbs!Grin

nickelbabe · 17/09/2011 13:39

did you mean untidy or V tidy?

cos that makes a huge difference.

(YANBU either way, just might explain MIL's weirdness, is all)

squeakytoy · 17/09/2011 13:39

Is there usually an issue with someone using her toilet then? It seems odd that your husband would make a point of mentioning you "may need to use it".

pinkdelight · 17/09/2011 13:39

Maybe she's blocked it and is embarrassed?

Bit weird for your DH to have to mention your need to wee. Non-pregnant people need to wee too. Hosts should expect them to need the loo, no?

TrillianAstra · 17/09/2011 13:46

I agree with nickelbabe - we do need to know the type of weirdness. SHe is BU, anyway.

Voidka · 17/09/2011 13:46

Why did your DH tell her you might need the loo? Its an odd thing to come up in conversation.

welliesandpyjamas · 17/09/2011 13:50

No, come on, unreasonable would be to say that she can't use the toilet at all. She has offered her an alternative. A bit odd and a bit concerning (thatshe is struggling) but unreasonable if there is another toilet.

welliesandpyjamas · 17/09/2011 13:52

Obviousnly, I meant not unreasonable Grin

MmeLindor. · 17/09/2011 13:54

I agree that it is an odd thing to ask, "Can I maybe use your loo if I am needing when we visit?"

Why did he ask that? Does she not let you into the house normally?

And is it v tidy or untidy?

Original poster
cookie9 · 17/09/2011 14:11

Sorry fingers have swollen up so difficult to type. Should read untidy. Have been once to her house and it looked ok. Our house can be messy too but I would have no problem with any of my relatives using loo. FYI it is just me dh as far as I can tell can use the loo.

The more I think about it the more irritated I become. If I am not allowed to enter her house why should she get entry to my house? May not go with dh as not sure if I can keep my feelings to myself.

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 17/09/2011 14:14

Deep breath! Don't bother getting wound up about it and plotting revenge. Just use the other loo. It's not such a big deal. Older persons can be weird sometimes. Rise above...

TadlowDogIncident · 17/09/2011 14:14

So you're saying she doesn't normally let you in the house, and that's why your DH specifically mentioned that you might need to use the loo? She is bonkers - don't go.

TrillianAstra · 17/09/2011 14:24

It's a good point - why would you need to warn someone in advance that you might want to use their loo?

MeconiumHappens · 17/09/2011 16:48

Use the other loo, and piss all over the floor, add a scattering of loo roll sprinkles. I would try and work up to a skid mark if at all possible.

Odd woman.

CharlieMcGee · 17/09/2011 16:57

I think she may be very embarrased about the state of the loo. I feel a bit sorry for her, maybe she is not coping and it's a state.

welliesandpyjamas · 17/09/2011 17:02

You say you've been to her house once. How many times have you met her? Does she hate having people round?

ChippingIn · 17/09/2011 17:04

I'd make DH go on his own.

I don't care how messy someone elses house is - they have to live with it, not me. But not being allowed in to use the loo is shocking - sending you in a cobweb grotty garage for a wee is dismal & your DH should tell her so. If she needs help someone needs to get that help sorted for her.

PublicHair · 17/09/2011 17:10

my mil pisses all over my loo seat as she wont sit on it.
do you know this woman well or are you still a 'stranger' regardless of being pregnant. seems odd.

missmogwi · 17/09/2011 17:11

If the toilet in the garage is full of spiders and cobwebs yet preferable to the one in the house, what must the one in the house be like??

Madness. I second what MeconiumHappens said.

HerHissyness · 17/09/2011 17:26

Stop off at a MacD or service station en route! Bloody hell! Bonkers or what?! Talk about uncharitable!

Andrewofgg · 17/09/2011 17:30

I just hope DH resembles PIL not her . . .