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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really pissed off at this relative saying.................

30 replies

youarekidding · 14/09/2011 19:11

'we need to get you a budget plan so you can come'

Basically my Mum side of the family is huge. She is 1 of 7 it it extends down from there!

Next Easter there is about 15 of the family planning to visit EuroDisney. (there's 50+ of us in total).

I am a LP, do not get maintenence but do work. My money is tight, have debts (family don't know as I'm private person), and do budget explicitly to afford a decent enough life. Will finish degree in 3 years and then 1 year training and debts gone in 4 years. So this is a temporary situation.

ED though is out of my price range especially with cost of living going up atm.

I really resent the suggestion from my Aunt that I'm bad with money and that with careful budgeting I can pull £800 out of my arse by January by budgeting. Angry

OK, Rant really but IANBU am I?

OP posts:
Someonesnotinbed · 14/09/2011 19:12

YANBU

troisgarcons · 14/09/2011 19:13

Well, simple really - make everyone else in the group pay an extra tenner and that covers your costs. Grin

Silverstar2 · 14/09/2011 19:16

Blimey if I could rustle up that money I wouldn't go to ED

YADNBU
Good luck with the degree - it sounds like you have it all budgeted and under control.

Signet2012 · 14/09/2011 19:19

nope your not. Some people just don't think. I'm a very private person around my finances and get very uppity if people make assumptions. However that said, if people don't know your circumstances then they will jump to conclusions.

I generally find that saying "its not that i cant afford it, its just too big of a chunk of money to spend on one thing when I have so many other priorities" tends to work quite well.

I've had a similar problem with my wedding budget. Everyone assuming I'm wanting a small do so I can afford it, even going as far as saying "you don't have to make do, we will lend you 5k if you like" to the point I had to turn round and say, "actually, Im not making do, I think 5k is a stupid amount of money to spend on one day, the vows and such are the important bit and I certainly wont be spending anywhere near half of that amount! My affordability isnt the issue here!

Original poster
youarekidding · 14/09/2011 19:25

Under control Hmm

Coping yes Grin

DS and I are living a simple life!

It was more the implication if I didn't DS was somehow missing out.

OP posts:
Original poster
youarekidding · 14/09/2011 19:27

signet Excellent post. I did say 'I do save and budget, that's how I afford xmas presents, car maintenence etc and I am saving for a new car.'

TBH the car is far more important than ED.

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 14/09/2011 19:28

Maybe you could open up a leeetle to one family member, it doesn't have to be everything, but start the chinese whispers that you're in fact brilliant with money and manage so well on very little???

Or allow them to take your DS and have a nice home holiday without all that Disney guff.

AgentZigzag · 14/09/2011 19:28

If there are 50+ going, it's really nice they're so vocal about wanting you to join them Smile

HairyGrotter · 14/09/2011 19:30

YANBU, it's ruddy expensive. Would be lovely, but priorities are priorities. I'm on a strict budget as a LP with no maintenance also, and I would love to take DD away but simply cannot afford it till I finish my degree and start working again!

ChippingIn · 14/09/2011 19:34

youarekidding - YANBU

I also think that unless your Aunt is generally an annoying PITA then she probably didn't really think about it hurting you like that. It probably doesn't mean she thinks you are irresponsible with your money - just that she wants to you to go! I think it was more of a thoughtless comment than anything - try not to be upset by it.

However, you know her and if you want to you can borrow my steel capped boots to kick her up the bum Grin

Original poster
youarekidding · 14/09/2011 19:43

Theres about 15 people going agent. It's a small group from the whole family. Some don't want to go, some can't (work etc).

chippingIn is probably right it's a thoughtless comment.

hairy Good on you. It's hard isn't it. Hopefully you, like me, will one day be bale to pay for these 'extra's' and state loudly quite pointedly that we did it alone!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 14/09/2011 19:49

Oh yeah, I was wondering how 50+ going on holiday at the same time would work out Grin

Damn skimreading.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 14/09/2011 19:54

£800 for you and a kid is ridiculous ...... That is a bit steep, especially as the child is free most of the time.

Would love to go to Disneyland Paris but not with extended family in tow ... Especially 50 of them!

HairyGrotter · 14/09/2011 19:56

I looked into it the other week Blush but the quotes were nearing £600 just for me and the girl!! Very steep, I prefer Florida anyway

KeepInMind · 14/09/2011 20:09

YANBU at all, tell her to go boil her head

Kladdkaka · 14/09/2011 20:18

Tell them that it is not that you can't afford it, it's that you refuse to buy in to the rampant consumerism of which ED is the shinning beacon. It is ripping the heart out of the country and destroying society as we know it. Somebody has to think of the children.

Kladdkaka · 14/09/2011 20:22

If that doesn't work, tell them that you have recurring nightmares about being chased by a giant mouse and that you just couldn't face it.

notherdaynotherdollar · 14/09/2011 20:23

you are daft not just to say no thanks, its not for me

maybe another time

KeepInMind · 14/09/2011 20:24

Tell them you have a phobia of giant mice Grin

Portofino · 14/09/2011 20:27

I am not struggling especially, but nearly fainted when I did a calculation of how much it would cost to take dd there for her birthday. We are not going. It's a rip off. We live in Brussels and it wouldn't even cost us anything to get there.

I will wait til she is 13 or something and save up for Florida.

festi · 14/09/2011 20:28

well like others said if I could afford a trip it wouldnt be euro disney with 50 members of my family. Grin

you said you are a private person so maybe your aunt just doesnt know your situation, although a missguided remark I wouldnt be offended. I would just simply say no really cant afford it or well we are saving for the caribean Wink.

minipie · 14/09/2011 20:30

YANBU at all.

Tell them "I do budget, it's just that I have better different things I choose to spend money on than a trip to EuroDisney"

Mitmoo · 14/09/2011 20:33

Tell her to mind her own ficking business. Grin

Cheeky mare!!!!!!!!!!!

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 14/09/2011 20:40

YANBU I hate attitudes like that! some people live in a totally different world to most. I know loads of people including myself, who haven't been on holiday this year because they can't afford it- everything is going up in price ffs.

Also shudder at going on holiday with so many relatives. If I had £800 to go on holiday it wouldn't be to ED and it wouldn't be with extended family!

Original poster
youarekidding · 14/09/2011 21:34

Think it worked out £680 for me and DS for room and park entrance including eurotunnel. Then £50 to get to London and then money to get to park when in Paris added it up. BTW I then have to actually find money to eat there! Kids ARE free when 2 paying adults but that's another thread. Wink

BTW I actually went for 5 days to E Sussex this summer in a mobile home. I went with a friend and our 4 Dc's (between us) and it cost £173!! (£87 each!). Grin

So I can and do budget for breaks but ones I want and when I can.

OP posts:
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