Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To not want to hand over my work

32 replies

CovMum · 12/09/2011 20:42

I did a course last year and have a folder that contains all my work. I really struggled with the course and spend hours on it. I have been asked by a colleague to give it to her for her son as he is doing the course this year to look at. I like my colleague and she gave me loads of help with my course which I am very grateful for. But her son doesn't speak to me usually when I see him. I want to say NO but I can't bring myself to. I am a soft touch and always have been. e.g. ended up taking and collecting a friends child to school for over a year without a thank you until she moved away. I worry if I say no I will look bad and mean for not doing it.

OP posts:

CardyMow · 12/09/2011 20:46

Um - it will not be her son's work if you do this - it'll be your work, plagiarised. No is a complete sentence. Use it. Why shouldn't this lady's son have to put in just as much effort as you did?

Kayano · 12/09/2011 20:47

Say you lossed/ tossed it or the assessor kept it

SybilBeddows · 12/09/2011 20:53

could you give him an element of it which would be helpful to him but not risk him plagiarising, eg your reading lists for each piece of work? I don't see why you shouldn't do something to help him, but I agree that handing over all your actual work is generally bad practice and could backfire.

missmogwi · 12/09/2011 20:53

YANBU I've been in a similar position and I felt mean for saying no but I'd slogged over the work so refused in the end.
Say the college kept it if you can't say no. He needs to study and put the work in too, his mother isn't helping him by trying to get him an easy ride.

KittyFane · 12/09/2011 20:54

Could you photocopy and hand over part of it? The bits she helped you with? I don't know, it's a difficult one.

KittyFane · 12/09/2011 20:54

Xpost Sybil

emsyj · 12/09/2011 20:55

Definitely say no!

My room mate at university used to get asked every week for her lecture notes by another girl on her course who was too lazy to get out of bed to attend herself. She would just borrow my friend's notes, photocopy them and no effort required. Eventually she told her to her face that if she wanted notes, she had to turn up and take them herself. I was there and saw her face, it was great!

You may be surprised that this boy's mother will respect you more and show you more courtesy in future if you stand up for yourself and say no. But if you don't feel able to do so, follow Kayano's advice and say you lost it/binned it or it was retained for moderation/assessment.

takethisonehereforastart · 12/09/2011 20:56

Tell her it's been accidentally thrown away or damaged so badly it's unusable now.

PonceyMcPonce · 12/09/2011 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Andrewofgg · 12/09/2011 20:59

No.

Just no.

Definitely not.

Which part of No appears to be causing the confusion?

I think you get the message!

Talker2010 · 12/09/2011 21:01

Offer to meet up with the son and talk him through your experience of the course ... take along your folder and talk him through the process and contents

Then give him a copy of your reading list with really good books highlighted

Offer to take a look at work before he hands it in

or just say no

I would do the former if the colleague did help a lot and I would explain if challenged that you are concerned he may be tempted to plagiarise if this is your reasoning

LRDTheFeministDragon · 12/09/2011 21:09

You can be held responsible for helping someone to plagiarise. So, if there is any risk of it and if you ever want your course tutors to write you a reference, don't do it.

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/09/2011 21:11

I can understand your reluctance to say no - "I like my colleague and she gave me loads of help with my course which I am very grateful for." Perhaps you need to talk to her about it. It may be that she wants to show him the level he has to work at, rather than allow him to plagiarise it.

Perhaps you could say you are worried about getting into trouble if there is any plagiarisation, but that you would be happy to go through the folder with him and show him the work, discuss how long it took you to do it, what 'dead-ends' you wasted time on etc.

But make it clear you would not be happy just to hand the work over and not know what use he is making of it. And that that is in his interests too.

aldiwhore · 12/09/2011 21:14

If you want to help, edit it, ie., take out anything that could be copied as an entire piece of work. I'd have no issue with giving over my notes etc., but finished work? Nope.

Smellslikecatpee · 12/09/2011 21:21

Many many years ago when I was considered high tech for word processing all my work [NVQ] I was asked if I would allow my portfolio to be used as an example [preens]

4 years later when I was doing my NVQ assessors course I had 3 of my 4 mentees try to submit my work as theirs TO ME!!

Found out it wasn?t only because I was sooo brilliant but also because having word processed it it was easy to read, and copy, to the extent that one of them submitted a photocopy of my work.

Yes people are that cheeky

So in other words be very very careful

FabbyChic · 12/09/2011 21:23

Tell her that you could get into trouble for allowing plagiarism if you lent him the work but are willing to give any advice he requires.

SuePurblybilt · 12/09/2011 21:23

Haven't you said something to her already? I mean, when she asked, you must have responded in some way?
Only asking as, if you want to make up an excuse, you need to remember what you said when she asked.

takethisonehereforastart · 12/09/2011 21:24

Besides, if she was able to give you loads of help, why can't she help him in the same way?

MumblingRagDoll · 12/09/2011 21:24

Did the woman say he wanted to copy your work? I am quite shocked at the respnses here....I think she wants her son to get a head start by seeing what's covered.

Bizzare all the talk of plagarism! I would hand mine over personally.

GalaxyWeaver · 12/09/2011 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 12/09/2011 21:32

Mumbling - not exactly 'bizarre', more like in line with standard practice. Sadly. I think standards have got a lot stricter about copying other people's work than they used to be (and maybe students less innocent about using other people's notes responsibly).

WhereYouLeftIt · 12/09/2011 22:28

I think I read somewhere recently that plagiarism is an increasing problem, sometimes because the 'cut&paste generation', as they were referred to, simply do not see copying other people's work as a problem. It's not that they're happy to break the rule, it's that they genuinely don't see what the problem is.

But takethisonehereforastart makes a very good point; your colleague helped you, she surely must be planning to help him? Like I said earlier, she may want to show him your work as an example of what he needs to be doing, rather than allowing him to plagiarise. You really need to talk to her about it.

edam · 12/09/2011 22:33

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the son wants to copy your work - maybe he just wants a general idea? Although if your colleague helped you a lot, presumably she can help her son... I'd ask her more about what her son wants from your folder and why he thinks it would help him. If it sounds dodgy, don't do it. But if she merely wants to give her son a better understanding of what is involved, then I'd see it as partly returning the favour she did for you.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 12/09/2011 22:36

Yes, I agree about students not necessarily knowing what plagiarism is. I suspect this isn't terribly different from any time in the past, but the availability of material is much greater, so more students access it and the problem is more obvious.

marfisa · 12/09/2011 23:13

Don't do it. Your instinct in wanting to say no is right. He will only derive full benefit from the course if he tackles the work himself in his own way, instead of relying on someone else's finished version of it. Anyone old enough to be taking a course is old enough not to need cheat sheets from his mum's friends (!). Also, giving him the folder wouldn't be fair to you or to the other students who have to put full effort into the course.

I would say sweetly, "I'm sorry, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable passing on my finished coursework. Of course I'd be happy to help him with any specific questions that might come up. Your input was so helpful to me; I appreciated it so much". That sort of thing. There's a world of difference between helping people complete their own work and letting them make free use of yours.

I teach at a university BTW.

Flip

1 2