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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to move somewhere totally different?

67 replies

JamaicaGeisha · 30/08/2011 17:04

DP and I are fed up of the materialistic culture and the complicated nature of living in this country. Do you think we are totally mad for wanting to live somewhere TOTALLY different, in a totally different culture, out of the west altogether?

If anyone has any experience of living somewhere in the world less developed? Obviously we will be restricted in where we can move due to immigration etc but still would like to hear experiences if poss.

Thanks

OP posts:
ragged · 30/08/2011 17:09

no experience but my first thought is that I wouldn't want to be that far from modern medical care.
And I would expect the utopia you seek to be very small-minded and intolerant.
But good luck with your dream. :)

Original poster
JamaicaGeisha · 30/08/2011 17:21

I don't seek any sort of utopia.

And you suggest that anywhere in the world other than the developed places are small-minded and intolerant?

Yeah, about that Hmm

OP posts:
Tchootnika · 30/08/2011 17:26

Where are you thinking of, Jam?

knittedbreast · 30/08/2011 17:29

everywhere is small minded and intolorant, we cling to norms and values to make our society exist well(ish).

go for it, enjoy and love every minute. youl always wonder otherwise.

Where were you thinking of?

grovel · 30/08/2011 17:31

Monaco is nice. And Las Vegas.

TheMitfordsMaid · 30/08/2011 17:34

Well, I've always entertained romantic notions of life in the Scottish isles. I'd love to live there, so long as I had a cupcake bunting sort of job to play at, with a substantial independent income to pay the bills, and a comfy, warm cottage and lots of books. I have to say, when I think about the practicalities of life on a remote island, my life in the midlands seems so much more attractive!

Original poster
JamaicaGeisha · 30/08/2011 17:36

We haven't any idea of where yet, we're pretty open. DP is black and I am mixed race and we don't want to go anywhere where we look like obvious outsiders. Maybe somewhere in South America, Caribbean, Africa, Asia, basically just named most of the world Grin. We have family in Jamaica but that is not really the kind of place we want to move. Maybe another island in the Caribbean that is quieter.

This is all very theoretical at the moment!

OP posts:
Tchootnika · 30/08/2011 17:42

Are you going to visit first?

Don't want to sound negative - and it's not necessarily a bad thing - but you almost certainly will look like 'outsiders' to the 'insiders. Outsiders always do...

FWIW, though, I reckon you might like Cuba, Smile

Original poster
JamaicaGeisha · 30/08/2011 17:47

Yeah, I did think we will look like outsiders still, but not so obviously if you get what I'm saying.

Oh gosh yes we will visit first!

Cuba is definitely an idea I will be looking into that, thanks.

OP posts:
defrocked · 30/08/2011 20:12

crime is horrific in many of those places

wicketkeeper · 30/08/2011 21:16

Practical suggestion - rent somewhere in your chosen destination for 6 months, but don't sell up in the UK just yet. 6 months is long enough for you to know if it's what you want.

I have experience of life outside of the west (in some very far flung places), but it was more than 30 years ago so I hesitate to make recommendations as things change (both economically and politically). And I was always pleased to come back to the UK - to indoor plumbing, a mosquito-free bedroom, an unarmed police force, regular bin collections, and (bizarrely) cold weather.

Don't knock the materialist culture and complicated nature of living in the UK too much. You may not want to go to the local shopping centre every 5 minutes - but that's very different from not being able to get to it even if you need to. You're making a major life-changing decision - think about what you will do for money (even in a simple society you need to buy stuff sometimes), what you will do about medical care, what you will do if a relative back in the UK becomes ill/dies, what about your dc's education, and what about when you get old. None of this is to say that you shouldn't do it, just to say that to turn the romantic dream into a reality needs a bit of research and heart searching.

Original poster
JamaicaGeisha · 30/08/2011 22:57

wicketkeeper Thank you for that, good advice. There will be loads and loads of things like that to think about I'm sure, I just have no idea where to start!

OP posts:
marcopront · 31/08/2011 06:10

What would you do for a job? Or do you not need money?

I have lived in Central America, Africa and I am now in Asia and there are materialistic people in all of those. OK I am a teacher and most of the students come from very wealthy families so that does bias my opinion. However in all of those places you can multinational food chains and shops, you can buy imported goods etc.

You can go to a small village in the middle of nowhere and find them watching CNN while drinking Coca Cola, cultural imperialism is out there.

EttiKetti · 31/08/2011 06:51

You don't HAVE to be materialistic tho....just because you live in the UK. We're not, lots of our friends and family are, its not difficult.

tsunami · 31/08/2011 06:54

Hey, Jam, is this partly sparked by the riots? Watching kids grabbing stuff out of shop windows and feeling depressed about where the country's going?

It got me years ago after the Anfield disaster. I felt so despondent at the state of the country I just wanted to leave. I've always had nagging spiritual doubts, have tried moving about, lived in quite a few places, learned stuff, seen stuff. I tried the barefoot dream, which was good but impractical in the end (money, mainly: that's the problem when you try to escape materialism...you miss it Wink) and I've come full circle as am currently on 'cupcakes and bunting'.

In my head I could easily have ended up bringing up my kids in a palm-leaf hut on a beach but really I wonder. If you think it's in you you should definitely give it a go - what do you have to lose? I think it depends where you're at in your life.

Think the biggest thing I learned while I was nomadic was that however far away you go, you end up finding out that you've come with you. The problem wasn't the culture I was living in - it was me.

bonkers20 · 31/08/2011 06:57

We've have witsful plans of renting out the house and living in India. We could live there very comfortably with the rent money.

Tenacity · 31/08/2011 07:10

I think the OP touches on an important point. The materialism so rampant in today's society is horrific, and life is indeed complicated. I think a lot of people have just got used to it. Smile

I also think that despite the wealth (or should I say so called wealth?), people don't seem that happy, and there are currently a lot of social problems in our midst.

In answer to your OP, I think you should go for it. You might want to try some immigration forums as such as this one for ideas.

QuintessentialShadow · 31/08/2011 07:18

Try consider the far north of norway. It has what you seek, but it is cold up here.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 31/08/2011 07:31

i would be reluctant to go to either Thailand or the ME. Both countries are racist to black or even medium brown skin. Paleness or fairness are prized and nobody looks behind the shade of your skin to the person underneath.
OP, you are clearly searching for something, I don't have any answers.

CheerfulYank · 31/08/2011 07:47

Can we just form a commune?

sailorsgal · 31/08/2011 07:50

I wouldn't think Cuba would be an option. I found the racism there quite shocking. The electricity is cut off regularly for the local people, (never the tourists). My friend had to queue for hours for bread as they wouldn't sell the fresh stuff until they sold the stale first.

If I didn't have to work I probably would live on Bali.

strandednomore · 31/08/2011 07:51

Well I have lived in St Lucia and Jamaica and although they were both interesting experiences, for me there's nowhere quite like home.
It might be different for you if you have relatives out there but I personally would never live on a small Caribbean island long-term unless I had been born and bought up there.
It's idyllic for a holiday - pretty hard to live. We went stir crazy very quickly and hated the whole living in a goldfish bowl thing. It was also really hard to find things to do with the dd's (although this probably would have got easier eventually when we forgot about playparks, farmparks, libraries, museums, zoos, soft play...). In SL in particular, it was hard to get to know people as most just disappeared off to their family and old friends at weekends.
You will also encounter a lot of problems we don't have to even think about in this country, it certainly makes you appreciate the NHS, relatively uncorrupt officials, the lack of ants...Oh and it was way too hot for us! It's also going to be quite expensive as you will have to pay for private schooling etc.
Sorry that sounds really negative! Of course lots of people do move out there and love it, but I did meet a few people who had made the move and hated it. A lot of people moved home again.
If you are serious there is a website for expats - britishexpats.com/forum/ with info from people who are already "living the dream"!
Good luck with whatever you decide....

Goodynuff · 31/08/2011 07:53

Have you thought about living on a boat? It would allow you to experience a pared down lifestyle, a chance to see more of the world, and meet new people.
Besides, you could always move on if you found a place wasn't to your likingSmile

justlookatthatbooty · 31/08/2011 09:24

Lovin this thread.... Just posted somehing similar on parenting. Reckon you should do a trial period. What you mention about the culture is why i have not moved back to uk for fifteen years despitte homesickness on other levels. Have u consideredbali? Good luck. X

dreamingbohemian · 31/08/2011 09:58

Keep in mind that it's easier to shield your family from materialism and bad cultural influences than from crime, corruption, disease, etc. You'd be mad to go live in Cuba, you would willingly go live under a corrupt dictatorship? Not really a simpler life.

I've had some amazing times in Malawi and Zambia and sometimes think about trying to live there long-term. But you really need to think of practicalities, what would you do for work? do you speak any languages?

It's also worth thinking about whether you need to go somewhere completely different, you might find what you're looking for just by moving somewhere in France or Spain for example...