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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to move somewhere totally different?

67 replies

JamaicaGeisha · 30/08/2011 17:04

DP and I are fed up of the materialistic culture and the complicated nature of living in this country. Do you think we are totally mad for wanting to live somewhere TOTALLY different, in a totally different culture, out of the west altogether?

If anyone has any experience of living somewhere in the world less developed? Obviously we will be restricted in where we can move due to immigration etc but still would like to hear experiences if poss.

Thanks

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 31/08/2011 10:02

Should add that I recently left the UK myself so I understand where you're coming from Smile Even if it takes a while to make anything happen it's nice to dream about it...

ragged · 31/08/2011 10:03

If someone knows of a place in the world that is openly tolerant of

  1. gay people
  2. religious diversity
  3. unmarried parents
  4. people keeping their private lives private
  5. Ethnic diversity but also not part of the complicated, materialistic West, then please let me know where. I think 2 & 3 on my list aren't so hard to get (Carribean?), and I hope that 5) is possible, but try for number 1), hohoho... :(
ragged · 31/08/2011 10:08

Israel!

Oh no, wait, they seem to have a few ethnic problems there. :(

ragged · 31/08/2011 10:31

Turkey comes to mind, OP, probably as long as you stay in or near Istanbul (not perfect though); recommendations for Scandanavia are about right, too. Iceland, if you can face the economic problems. South Africa (Cape Town) gets votes in some quarters.

Best places to live.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 31/08/2011 10:43

My DH comes from rural North Africa (Algeria). In some ways its idyllic 20 mins to the beach, sunshine, space, slow pace of life, grow your own food etc.

However, it also comes with power cuts, running water every other day, poor hospitals, no rubbish collection so it accumulates on roadsides, a high level of corruption and a high risk of civil unrest (not helped by the Gadaffi family moving in! Shock).

Try before you buy.

CheerfulYank · 31/08/2011 10:46

Ragged you can move into my house. We've got all five. :o

The rest of rural Minnesota...no. Most of us. But not all, sad to say. :(

Kladdkaka · 31/08/2011 10:48

Come and join me here in Sweden. It projects an image of highly developed western nation but underneath it's pure Craggy Island.

HerHissyness · 31/08/2011 10:49

Unless it's changed dramatically in the last few years, I'd remove South America from the list, racism is rife and pretty generalised. Crime is pretty scary and actually, with the projected growth in these less developed nations materialism will be increasingly rampant.

IME, living in Brazil for a few years, and Egypt latterly for a few years, these developing countries are hugely materialistic, but just that many can't afford it.

When I lived in Brazil tourists/foreigners were routinely mugged for their trainers, and in Egypt if it's not hidden away, kept safe at all times, then more fool you for getting your stuff nicked... (this is how THEY look at it, even among themselves)

Egypt is actually pretty racist too, the darker you are, the lower down in society you are. Unless you are a tourist, in which case you are minted, so you'll be treated well until the money or your visa runs out.

You can't just up and move to these places, not even Egypt allows you to live there indefinitely anymore.

Canada has a much less grabby lifestyle, plenty of space, and I hear (not sure if true or not) that the immigration there is easier as they are trying to increase the population.... it has it's own pitfalls of course, but I hear it's nice.

It's very easy to sit here an moan about the UK, but there is a lot right with our country, you have freedom, an intention to achieving equality. we are fair, caring and inclusive. If we get sick, we are treated, if we fall onto hard times, we can access help. women ARE entitled to live as they wish, and area able to run their own lives and have their own opinions. We appreciate history, we celebrate it, and we include other culture's celebrations in our own calendar.

I love my country, I am immensely proud to be British, we're not perfect, true, but we are a lot closer to it than many, many, MANY other countries.

CheerfulYank · 31/08/2011 10:52

I'm kind of the same, Hissy. I love America.

:o

We have our faults, and I hate materialism too, but I just try to fight it within my own family and our choices.

Best of luck though, OP. It would be a great adventure!

HerHissyness · 31/08/2011 11:00
Grin
ragged · 31/08/2011 11:05

Just musing... OP, if I wanted a big change I might plump for Mexico -- because I have a strong affection for the culture. But life there is probably more "complicated" than in the UK in many cases. And people are mostly poorly educated (hence the prejudices I alluded to in my first reply). And no less materialistic, truly, than Westerners, just less able to express it.

Speaking as an immigrant to the UK myself, so I've already done my once-in-a-lifetime-continental hop Wink.

mummytime · 31/08/2011 11:14

In St Lucia (on holiday) I was shouted at in the street for being a tourist and not wearing designer trainers. Admittedly the market women said she was mad, but I think you get materialism everywhere. You have to teach your kids your values and hope.
I think going elsewhere to get away from something is a bad idea, as you almost always bring it with you. Trying another culture for the excitement/adventure is a good idea.

wordfactory · 31/08/2011 11:29

I've travelled extensively and lived for periods in quite a few different places and from what I can see materialism is rampant everywhere...it's just that in poor countries the folks are too busy scrtaching up enough to eat, house themselves and buy basic medicines.

How about somehwere like Canada? If you lived far enough away from the city and not on the tourist beat you could go back to basics whist still haing access to electricity and paracetamol.

MugglesandLuna · 31/08/2011 11:29

Mexico has terrible crime rates.

I would love to live in Sweden/Norway, but I think the cold would do me in.

JamaicaGeisha · 31/08/2011 12:12

I'm training as a teacher and DP does various business and construction stuff, both skills I would see as very transferable. We also think we might grow a lot of things, though we will have to learn!

I will have to look into Canada

dreaming I would have liked to move to rural Spain as I have visited once but found it quite racist.

Hissy I'm not really moaning about the UK, I don't hate it or anything, I just think I would like to try somewhere else to see if it suits us better.

OP posts:
usingapseudonym · 31/08/2011 12:50

Where abouts in the UK do you live? You could move away from an affluent area to a different area? What about a welsh town or a scottish village?

dreamingbohemian · 31/08/2011 12:52

The Mexican crime rates are very localised though, there are parts of the country that are really safe.

I can see that you would have problems in rural Spain or France (rural anywhere really!) but what about some of the smaller cities?

I live in a smaller regional capital in France, it's a lovely city and very diverse and artsy and laidback, you have all the amenities of 'civilisation' but a ten minute drive and you're in farmland (my BIL runs an organic farm here actually). Culturally it feels very different from the UK (mostly I love the lack of binge drinking in the gutters!) but it's not so problematic or head-scratching as things might be in less developed countries.

strandednomore · 31/08/2011 13:25

Racism is everywhere. We faced a lot of racism in St Lucia (we are white). Materialism is also everywhere and it sounds a little patronising to think there is a country somewhere where people are happy to live simple lives (I am sure there are but probably only becuase they have no chance to do otherwise). I think it's human nature to want what we don't have.

Having said that I totally understand where you are coming from and although I love living in the UK and am over-the-moon to be back here, I hate the fact that primary school kids seem to take it as given that they will have i-phones, ds's etc. What I would like is to go back in time a bit! (but then of course lots of other things would be worse). (sigh). (did someone mention a commune?).

OTheHugeRaveningWolef · 31/08/2011 13:35

I've always got the impression that living in a simpler and less materialistic culture would probably be lovely, provided you were pretty rich by local standards . Or to put it another way, India or Africa might well be fab - but only if you're being paid a Western salary.

To me it looks as if lots of people in these simpler and less materialistic cultures are grafting every hour God gives in the hopes of a slightly more complicated and materialistic life. In your position I'd give thanks for being able to live in a country with free healthcare and a relatively good standard of living, and if you feel really fed up then go do VSO for a bit.

mummytime · 31/08/2011 13:53

As a teacher are you doing a PGCE? As GTP is not recognised in most places. Second places like the US and Canada have large teacher unemployment (most new teachers in Canada start the first few years working supply).

JamaicaGeisha · 31/08/2011 16:56

pseudo Live in a mixed area in London at the moment. Have lived in both wealthy and poor areas and can't see much of a difference to be honest. That said, I absolutely LOVE Wales and would consider moving there but DP won't hear of it.

dreaming That sounds lovely, could you tell me where it is or do you not want to out yourself?

nomore Commune sounds great, I wish! Grin I presume there must be some people who are happy to live a simple life, without the 'more more more' mentality. I do agree materialism is everywhere but to greater and lesser degrees.

Wolef I am very grateful for the NHS and I realise we have an excellent standard of living in this country for the most part. However, that is my point! This high standard of living and high level of infrastructure comes with costs and provides a more fast-paced lifestyle, which is what I'm trying to get away from.

Luckily we will have the safety net of money in this country (with family etc) although to get to it in an emergency would be difficult. It is obviously all very complicated and I have to do a lot of thinking about all this stuff. I don't even know what kind of level of 'development' I'm looking for in somewhere to live. Whether I want live without electricity remains to be seen. We want to go and try some places. Just looking for ideas!

mummy Yes I am doing a PGCE. That's a shame about Canada, it does look very nice. Thanks for the info.

OP posts:
Pendeen · 31/08/2011 17:05

OP you said

DP is black and I am mixed race and we don't want to go anywhere where we look like obvious outsiders.

and then say I absolutely LOVE Wales and would consider moving there but DP won't hear of it?

Have you ever been to Wales?

breaktime73 · 31/08/2011 17:08

Morocco is a great place. Have dreamed of moving there myself.

JamaicaGeisha · 31/08/2011 17:16

Pendeen I have been to Wales and there were black people there. What I meant more is I didn't want to go to another country where I am unsure of how they will react or what they think of black people.

There is some racism in this country, but I am familiar with it and can deal with it. I would be wary of going to countries where I didn't know their attitudes.

OP posts:
Goodynuff · 31/08/2011 17:17

Hello!
As a Canadian, I can let you know that while Canada is quite lovely, it is not perfect.
We have a very multi cultural society, but there is still some racism. The country is so large, and immigrants (for the most part) move to the cities.
This means there are a lot of people who grow up without ever meeting anyone of a different background. It makes it harder to understand someone else's culture when you know nothing about it.

We have a lot of teachers. Over the last 6 or 7 years, there has been a huge increase in the number of people training to be teachers. People who finished university and couldn't find jobs went back to get their teacher training. At the same time, especially in rural areas, the population is declining, so many small schools are being closed. Then those teachers (who have years of experience) are added to the job hunt.
There are jobs out there, but they don't come easily.

There is still plenty of wide open spaces, if you want to have privacy, grow your own food, keep a horse, or what have you. Smile

If you do head over here, might I suggest a love of winter, hockey and the outdoorsGrin