Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD birthday presents

39 replies

joric · 28/08/2011 22:17

DD (will be 8) wrote down (without prompting) a list of 10 things she would like for her birthday.
I asked her to split the list into 2 (5 things for her b'day and 5 things she could have for Christmas instead.)

So, she has been to build a bear and has a bear and two outfits. I have bought her 3 other things on her b'day list- an outfit, a wii game ( chosen by her) and some books.

I haven't bought her another wii controller and another game she asked for.

I think that is a lot but want to know what you think.

AIBU to think that this is a lot or am I totally out of touch?

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 28/08/2011 22:19

Sounds plenty for a birthday! Wii games are not cheap.

squeakytoy · 28/08/2011 22:19

If it is what you can afford, then it is fine. I would say that lot is probably close to £75, probably more.. so it sounds fine to me for a childs birthday.

Firawla · 28/08/2011 22:22

sounds fine to me

Original poster
joric · 28/08/2011 22:23

I think about £100 Hmm ... I am feeling confused as my head says 'how much?!' I honestly don't know what is normal/ reasonable!

OP posts:
DaphneHeartsFred · 28/08/2011 22:24

Lucky girl. Will you adopt me please? Grin

Original poster
joric · 28/08/2011 22:24

Thanks for replies!

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 28/08/2011 22:25

It sounds a lot for some families and 'bits' to go with the main present for other families. There really isn't any 'normal' when it comes to presents.

When I was a child we wrote lists - sometimes very long lists! Grin then if we were lucky we'd get some of those things off of the list for birthdays or christmases - but there was no guarantee and that's what made it all sooooo exciting, wondering what we would be lucky enough to get.

Original poster
joric · 28/08/2011 22:28

:o Daphne! That's what I think ... I don't want a spoilt brat but don't want to be mean either.

OP posts:
rhondajean · 28/08/2011 22:29

I tend to over spend on birthdays and Christmas. Not to the stage its financially detrimental to us but I do end up thinking Ive over done it every time.

We didnt do either when I was a child and I think it makes me want to make theirs as amazing as I can (we do parties, personalised cakes, etc too, and then family round later on).

However I can report the best present I ever gave was last year when I told DD that I had spoken to the Disney Channel and they were putting on a brand new film on her birthday specially for her.

Its more than enough, its the other things you do on the day they remember imho, and not the present they got.

bubblesincoffee · 28/08/2011 22:30

It's plenty, and more to the point, those are things your dd wants.

If she always had everything she wanted, it wouldn't be anywhere near as exciting for her. It is really not good for children to get everything they ever ask for, and the pleasure is lost if it's not a special treat or there has been no waiting.

Agree that there is no 'normal' about these things.

Original poster
joric · 28/08/2011 22:31

Chipping- I like the 'lucky dip' idea- I have bought her 4/5 presents- the build a bear :( was the main one!!
I got 1 toy and an outfit for b'day and Xmas - and a day out on my birthday.

OP posts:
Original poster
joric · 28/08/2011 22:35

Agree bubble I don't want her to think she can have everything she asks for.
Also, I think that at 8 they are only just working out the cost of things and can be a bit unrealistic.

OP posts:
MrsEricBana · 28/08/2011 22:38

I read OP as asking "Does this sound a lot?" rather than "Is this enough?". It does sound a lot tbh - I tend to go for one main thing from us (like outfit OR Build a Bear) then other things come from Grandma, Auntie T etc, so they have a few things but only really one thing from any one person. I thought that was the norm but I know others do go for a lot more whereas perhaps I spread things out through the year a bit more.

MrsEricBana · 28/08/2011 22:39

Agree that their lists are unrealistic as they really don't know what things cost - more of a wish list really.

whackamole · 28/08/2011 22:41

It doesn't sound a lot....but it does sound expensive! That's the problem nowadays - one present might 'only' be a wii game but the new ones are over £30 and that is a lot of money.

I think you have done really well and she will be pleased.

DeWe · 28/08/2011 22:44

If you haven't got any relations that buy presents it might be reasonable, but if she's getting presents from others as well I'd have thought that was a heck of a lot.
With the dc for bithdays they get a present from parents which is usually the biggest present. I'd say we aim for round the £40 mark, although sometimes if it's something they need/is especially good/will be used a lot we will go over. If they had a large present last birthday/Christmas then it might be a smaller present. They buy each other presents from pocket money and have plenty of relations that send presents too. Never heard any complaints that they feel hard done by measured against peers.

emsyj · 28/08/2011 22:48

I don't think it matters what you spend on birthdays and Christmas really - for a child to end up 'spoiled' (and by that I mean unappreciative and possibly a bit greedy and materialistic) I think you have to be overindulging them on a more regular basis than that.

But that is my entirely personal opinion, based on anecdotal 'evidence'! Grin

Original poster
joric · 28/08/2011 22:50

MrsEric- I am sort of asking both, is it enough/ is it too much!
Whacka- you've hit the nail on the head... There arn't a lot of presents but they add up...
I want to teach her a bit more about money now she's getting older.

OP posts:
marriedinwhite · 28/08/2011 22:53

My dd, at 8, would have got the build a bear with one outfit from us and the grandparents would have bought something to the value of a wii game each and she would have had a party and presents from the party guests.

Original poster
joric · 28/08/2011 22:56

DeWe- she will get 3 other presents from relatives.
We don't do the big friend's party thing - I'm going to sound really mean but that was the trade off... She wanted a big party too ( would have been about £100) I said that she couldn't have the build a bear etc AND a paid for party. She chose her presents and I said she could have friend's to stay over...
Basically £100 max.

OP posts:
Original poster
joric · 28/08/2011 22:59

BTW, I think £100 is a lot :(

OP posts:
Atwaroverscrabble · 29/08/2011 09:04

We have a limit of £20-30 for birthdays and £50 for xmas for dsd (16), ds (12) and dd(21 months). Kids get far too much these days and with presents from family too they get loads!

The two older ones know they have to save their pocket money for big presents or sell their old stuff on ebay! They get £20, £18 and £5 pocket money each month btw....

ballstoit · 29/08/2011 09:14

Sounds okay to me, depends what you can afford tbh. DSS's used to get about £100 spent on birthdays, when I was with ex-H. DC get about £30 presents + a day out (somewhere v.cheap or free with a picnic, with cousins and friends), as at the moment, that's what I can afford to do. They don't seem to be aware of any difference, and it's surprised me how much they get if I plan ahead.

Hope she has a lovely day and you survive the sleepover Grin

marriedinwhite · 29/08/2011 09:19

You spend what you can afford and it shouldn't be more. Presents aren't a substitute for love. She sounds like a lucky girl to me.

lilolilmanchester · 29/08/2011 09:20

I think you have bought her plenty - more than enough. But to be fair on your DD, you did say split list into 5 things for birthday, 5 things for Christmas - that would have been the point to say "they might be small things but they are expensive... you can have £xx for birthday and £xx for Christmas" - and used that for basis of her lists? Old enough at 8 for that I would say?