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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD birthday presents

39 replies

joric · 28/08/2011 22:17

DD (will be 8) wrote down (without prompting) a list of 10 things she would like for her birthday.
I asked her to split the list into 2 (5 things for her b'day and 5 things she could have for Christmas instead.)

So, she has been to build a bear and has a bear and two outfits. I have bought her 3 other things on her b'day list- an outfit, a wii game ( chosen by her) and some books.

I haven't bought her another wii controller and another game she asked for.

I think that is a lot but want to know what you think.

AIBU to think that this is a lot or am I totally out of touch?

OP posts:

jester68 · 29/08/2011 09:29

I think it sounds fine to me. We usually spend between £50-100 on birthdays depending on what the girls are after (more eldest at moment as baby is too young) and also depends whether they are having a party or not.

This year my eldest and a friend from her school have birthdays a week apart from each other. So me and the other mum took our children plus 2 others to local soft play for the day (we split the cost of entry and food for the children between us). That worked out at about £20 each. Then we spent £60 on presents for my daughter.

Usually if there is a theme she is after (ie:baby born, playmobil etc) then grandparents get involved and buy something related to it.

Original poster

joric · 29/08/2011 12:25

Thank you for you replies! DD is dancing along to the princess and frog wii game as I type! She is v happy!
She is an only one and as I said earlier- it's hard to judge what is excessive and what isn't .. I'm glad most of you don't think it's OTT but generous at the same time.
I agree that this is the right age to start teaching her more about the value of things in terms of actual money and cost. Maybe time to start earning her money for treats throughout the year too.
BTW- is 8 late to start that.. Pocket money etc?
Anyway.. Relatives here in 30 min!! I love birthdays!!

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 29/08/2011 12:29

I spend £100 on my kids for their birthday, and around £300 each at Christmas.

It has grown as they have. When they were 8 they got £50 for birthday and £250 for christmas, they don't get any presents from anyone else ever and never have.

FabbyChic · 29/08/2011 12:30

I always told mine they got X and to choose what they wanted for that amount, I'd always give them the argos book and so they always got what they wanted as opposed to what I wanted to buy them. I made sure they didn't spend it all so I could buy surprises.

Original poster

joric · 29/08/2011 12:31

Fabby- v good point- some DC do get lots from big extended families. DD will get 3 more presents which reflects the size of our tiny family!!!

OP posts:

sjuperwolef · 29/08/2011 12:34

i spend between 100 - 150 on DDs birthdays, that is for presents and a new outfit.

skrumle · 29/08/2011 12:39

i do the party vs presents thing - DD's party this year cost over £100 so she got a £40 worth of presents and the bulk of that was a multi-swim ticket which we wanted her to have... last year she just had friends for a sleepover so we spent more on her present.

greengirl87 · 29/08/2011 12:45

because my daughter is only young, i tend to buy quite a bit for her bday, but nothing or something very small eg. helium ballon because she loves them, for xmas. This may sound a bit harsh, but she is the first grandchild/neice, and has 6 grandparents, 3 great grandparents, 6 auntie and uncles and 4 step auntie and uncles so she gets quite a lot!
i think that what you have bought will be suffcient.

Pippaandpolly · 29/08/2011 12:47

I think you sound very generous and she's a lucky girl when I was little we got one present from parents, one from grandparents and one from aunt, plus cards (sometimes with a fiver ) from godparents. We did also get a 'sneechuk' on each other's birthdays, though that would be really, really tiny (like some new crayons) and more so we could join in the unwrapping!

worraliberty · 29/08/2011 12:48

I honestly don't know what is normal/ reasonable!

What is normal and reasonable is what you feel you can afford. Nothing else matters imo.

rhondajean · 29/08/2011 12:48

Im starting to think I drastically over do it for both birthdays and Xmas. We have a very tiny family too and Im always aware of that. I do try to use Xmas to "gift" some things they need, like each year, they both get a new set of bedding, pjs, housecoat and slippers, which I would be buying them anyway, but its nice to wrap it up!!

Original poster

joric · 29/08/2011 13:07

You've all made me feel really happy saying she's a lucky girl because I know she is and I'm also so pleased nobody thinks spoilt brat.. :o
it's easy to over do it Rhonda..I could have bought much more or much less but here's what I've learnt today- the build a bear ( DD was desperate for- I think v expensive for outfits) has made her so happy, she is wearing her Own new outfit for when family comes and loves the game...

So, a few presents she loves are good.. and absolute max limit of £100.

OP posts:

marriedinwhite · 29/08/2011 17:22

Now for a conundrum - DS is rising 17. His little spout of birthday ungraciousness has been "what a bummer, birthday on Christmas day", although for about the last five years he has persuaded me that as it's his birthday it is totally unfair to make him go to church to celebrate someone else's birthday.

Original poster

joric · 29/08/2011 17:55

:o @ married

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