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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it me or is this just madness?

50 replies

amistillsexy · 26/08/2011 09:13

Posted on Freecycle by someone who tells us in her intro that she is a student:
Wanted-I am moving into my first flat, I have a few bits but still need a
Colour TV not a portable as I have 1 of those...

She goes on to say that she also needs a microwave, but I'm prepared to overlook that [unsure].

I mean, what the actual fuck? She already has one TV,but she needs another, BIGGER one for her STUDENT FUCKING FLAT!!!!!

I'm sorry but I really think the world's gone potty. Sad

I have to add that the only TVs I have owned have been passed down by well-meaning friends and relatives. 2 have actually been inherited from relatives who passed on. None of them are 'flat screen' or anything fancy.
I have recently 'inherited' a newer one, so I now have a large TV and a portable to Freecycle, but no-one takes them as they are not flat screen! My advert is about 5 down from this one!

OP posts:
CailinDana · 26/08/2011 09:16

I think it's just you to be honest. She might be taking the piss a bit but if someone has a tv to give away why shouldn't she have it? Better that than it going to the tip.

I'm not sure what your problem is really, sorry.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 26/08/2011 09:21

I think she probably means that Freecycle should be for people with real needs rather then someone who already has a telly but wants another better one, especially when that person is a student in which case she's lucky to have a telly at all. (I've never used Freecycle though so not sure how it works.)

Runlolarun · 26/08/2011 09:22

I think I was the same as you until I thought "if you can't beat 'em...." I asked for a carpet steamer as my new rescue was having a few accidents! who is to know what people have available. It is surely better than ending up in landfill!

TragicallyHip · 26/08/2011 09:28

I see where you are coming from but if you don't ask you don't get..

MsWeatherwax · 26/08/2011 09:32

Yeah, Freecycle is a bit rubbish these days. Also a lot of people in real need don't even have internet access. Don't get me started on non-collectors. These days, I take everything I can to a those furniture charity shop places like emmaus or poverty aid.

emsyj · 26/08/2011 09:37

I suppose it depends whether you consider that Freecycle is a way of avoiding landfill or a charitable giving method. I can't decide, so I usually give my stuff to the first respondent.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 26/08/2011 09:39

I think freecycle was set up to stop people sending perfectly good stuff to the dump, I'm not sure it was ever meant to be a charitable concern. But, it's up to the giver to decide who they would like their things to go to.

lesley33 · 26/08/2011 09:44

Freecycle was set up by an environmental charitable group in America who were concerned about the perfectly good stuff that people took to the local dump. When I go to the tip - usually with garden waste - I have been taken aback at some of the stuff people just throw away.

It was never set up as a charitable concern, just a way of getting things reused rather than thrown away. I agree that the poorest people will rarely benefit from freecycle.

jasper · 26/08/2011 09:45

OP, I agree. That sort of freecycle post is taking the mickey

kenobi · 26/08/2011 10:07

4 chemical engineering students came and took away our massive Ikea corner sofa. I gave it to them because they were the first to respond, gave his mobile no, and could come in the time alloted. One of them was decidedly posh. Do I feel like it didn't go to a good cause? Hell no, I was just glad that a) we didn't have to shift it out of our flat and down 33 narrow stairs and b) it wasn't going to waste. So I think your student is fine.

Then again I hate it when people ask for stuff and sell it - there's a freecycler on my local page who posts this sob story every month about how he's just got to the UK from a war-torn country and needs a phone and his wife is pregnant etc - I wonder how many newbies to the board have been caught out.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 26/08/2011 10:45

Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry, I almost forgot to do my daily breast-beating self-abasement for being a student today! How very dare I? And I bought a new pair of socks the other day instead of going to the charity shop.

Hmm

It is very, very expensive being a student at the moment. She will leave with lots of debt. She will probably struggle to get a job for quite a while.

So she asked to take your flatscreen TV off your hands to stop it going to the tip? My goodness, how very rude.

I've been a student since 2003 and money is now very tight, but I am not going to dress myself in sackcloth just so people like you (who presumably got your education for free?) can feel better.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 26/08/2011 10:47

And FWIW, a microwave is a great cheap way to cook beans, baked potatoes and all the student standards. It's good of you to 'overlook' her asking for that, eh?

kenobi · 26/08/2011 13:07

Dragon indeed Grin

You can have my old sofa anytime!

kelly2000 · 26/08/2011 13:15

imagine if when students graduated they refused to do anything to help those who did not get an education. everyone wants their cure for cancers, doctors, teachers etc, but students are treated like freeloaders. Imagine if all scientists, doctors, nurses, radiographers, teachers ect refused to work for the state and only worked in private institutions those who complain about them might begin thinking they had a good deal before.
And she is very honest about her situation, so people can decide not to give her stuff. If someone was saying that they had six children and asked for a TV would you say tough they should have used a condom if they could not afford them rather than give them a TV you were going to throw out.

hocuspontas · 26/08/2011 13:25

Anything portable and in a saleable condition I take to a charity shop. Anything electrical, stuffed furniture and anything else they can't sell I Freecycle. I don't care who has it as long as they are polite and turn up! It saves it going into landfill (which is the point as already stated) and saves me the time and energy and cost of getting rid of it myself.
If you don't have a car it's hard to get rid of large items without incurring huge costs and dustbin collections won't take anything so Freecycle is of benefit to everyone really. The only downside is when no one on Freecycle wants your item like the op!

michelleseashell · 26/08/2011 13:31

I dunno, look around you. How much stuff in your house do you actually need?

The girl wants a microwave and a nice telly. It's not a big deal. No one in this world needs those things but personally, I kinda like having them around.

Takitezee · 26/08/2011 13:40

I see your point but the freecycle ads do say 'wanted' not 'needed'.

The second tv is taking the piss but people do replace microwaves and they often get taken to the tip so there's a chance somebody would have one in their garage they hadn't got around to getting rid of.

ragged · 26/08/2011 13:41

Many charity shops take electrical items nowadays, just ask. They have to pay maybe 5quid to get it safety tested, worth it if the item can sell for 6 quid or more.

Original poster
amistillsexy · 26/08/2011 14:07

It's not the fact that she's a student (although when I was student no-one had a TV and we made our own entertainment Wink ),

and it's not the fact that things on Freecycle are open to anyone, not just 'the poor'...

I have no problem with a group of students collecting an IKEA sofa, no matter how posh they are.

And I have been breadline poor many times in my life.

It's the 'I already have one TV but need a bigger one as well,' that I find cringeworthy.

LRDTheFeministDragon-this isn't about how poor she may or may not be, and it isn't about me making a judgement about students.
I don't think she should dress herself in sackcloth-if she'd posted that she was a student and was desparate for clothes I'd be the first to give her any I had spare (not that mine are any cop-mainly holes with bits of material and mending in between!), but she's not saying that is she? She's saying she has one TV in her flat and she now 'needs' a bigger one.

And for what it's worth I don't have a flat-screen TV to give away (because I don't own one at all). I have the old portable that was my Mum and Dad's (Dad bought it about 25 years ago), that has been mine since my Mum replaced it when her eyes went. I have now replaced it with one (with a remote control!) from my Great Aunt's house (cos she died last year). The larger one I have is an old box style one that was my Granddad's (this one is almost new-only 15 years old!), which I replaced when my neighbour got a Flat Screen and donated her old (huge box) to us.

Unfortunately, the needy student doesn't want either of my TVs. They are not good enough for her.

I don't want my TVs to go to the tip, as they still work perfectly well. I'm thinking of keeping them for when my sons go to college so they can have 2 TVs too! Grin

OP posts:
notcitrus · 26/08/2011 14:08

There's always microwaves going on my local Freecycle - I've put at least three there myself (dad worked abroad a lot, kept buying new ones...), and new ones are only 25 quid.

But I'd be surprised at anyone getting rid of a flat screen telly for free - they sell well!

Thing with large CRT TVs isn't that people might not appreciate them, but if they don't have a car like the majority in my area, they can't take them! Ditto loads of decent furniture.

pictish · 26/08/2011 14:11

Cripes - who are you to decide?
Gawd.

Original poster
amistillsexy · 26/08/2011 14:18

Sad but I would deliver it if they asked! I've put 3 ads in now, and no-one wants them!
I think that it's really sad that people feel that only the new, shiny, top of the range is worth having. That's why I love Freecycle, because I hate waste and the idea of using up resources to create new things when the old ones are still perfectly good. It's not about the poor or needy or charity, it's about not wasting resources.
We're creating a generation of children who think that they can only have new stuff, which means that more and more stuff will be discarded (because it's only crazies like me who think if there's one going free or cheap that works, I'lll use that instead of getting it new), but that situation is not sustainable.

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministDragon · 26/08/2011 14:39

ami - I don't think you get it, really. It's dead nice of you to say you'd donate old clothes if she were 'desperate' ... do you not realize it's a bit rude to assume students should be desperate?! I'm really fed up with comments that imply I should be very poor and very grateful for any old crap that's not good enough for you any more.

You had a go at her wanting a microwave - yet this is a good, cheap, sensible way to cook, especially if you don't have an oven.

You had a go at her not wanting your non-flatscreen TV - again, that is perfectly sensible if she's in a small space.

I do think it's a bit rude of her to announce she already has a portable, but the other things sounded perfectly fine to me and still got the judgy treatment. And then you're saying it's terrible children want new stuff ... well, she's presumably not a child, and she wants second-hand stuff!

FWIW, I have neither a TV nor a microwave, but I'd no idea people would judge me if I went on freecycle looking for them. It makes me pretty sad to know that, actually - when the majority of people on freecycle got their education for free, it's a bit rich!

littlepiglet · 26/08/2011 18:14

I do think some freecyclers do take the piss.

I posted on a thread the other day, about a girl asking for equipment for her first baby - she wanted clothes from 0 - 12 months... in BOTH sexes; three stairgates, carseat for 0 - 9 months, and carseat for 9months to 4 years; baby bath, moses basket or crib & bedding, cot & bedding, pushchair, steriliser (only an electric Avent or Tommee Tippee - cheeky cow turned her nose up at my spare Milton one), digital video baby monitor.

Fair enough babies are expensive, but she claimed to be on benefits, and as this was her first she'd be entitled to £500 Sure Start Maternity Grant.... the ad was posted on her Blackberry no less.

littlepiglet · 26/08/2011 18:19

Oh and some have been asking for stuff recently - they want shoes for them (mum, dad little boy & toddler girl), they've asked for several different kinds, and posted the kids shoes in their size now, and the size up - which I'm quite sad about as I really wouldn't want to put a toddler in second-hand shoes, that haven't been properly fitted.

They're also asking for "everything pink" and go on to list "living room, bathroom, bedroom, kitchen... but they don't specify what they want???

They've posted about 7 different ads in the last week, asking for all sorts of stuff, yet they haven't got the internet so they give their address & mobile number & ask for the stuff to be dropped off, as they don't drive.

We actually know them, and DH feels sorry for them, but their ads really piss me off, there is no politeness there