Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or was this woman?

50 replies

SouthernFriedTofu · 23/08/2011 21:03

Went to breakfast at the weekend with dd and dh this is a family restaurant (Denny's if you are familiar with the states at all) and not a "naice" place at all. Typically noisy with greasy lovely breakfasts.

As we were eating a hostess brought two women to sit at a table near us at the exact same time dd (who hadn't made a peep other than to gurgle at everyone sitting next to us) decided to screech like her life depended on it.

Lovely lady says Oh no, I don't think so! as loudly as possible. Her poor friend looked mortified and immediately went on to babble at dd as though to make up for friend's nasty behaviour.

AIBU or was the correct response for the woman being seated to say "oh I prefer to sit over there, by the window/ at a bigger table/ just about anything besides what she did say?

Btw I am not precious in general and hate to sit to next to noisy kids myself - but I would never be so rude to a parent trying to have some breakfast especially in a Denny's

I wanted to say "well, she didn't want to sit next to you either" on the way out but I actually felt bad for her friend

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 23/08/2011 21:10

i don't think either of you are being unreasonable actually,

if i was seated next to a child who was really screaming very loudly i would ask to move too. she said what she thought at the time, maybe she said it a bit too loud... not the end of the world.

she wasn't rude to you. she just said something that you overheard. maybe she had to talk loudly over your daughters screaming?

DoMeDon · 23/08/2011 21:12

Neither but you are taking it too personally.

Mitmoo · 23/08/2011 21:13

If I was in a restaurant, even a Dennys and my child decided to scream like her life depended on it, then I'd go outside until I could calm the child down.

UABU as she didn't threaten to deck the child and from your description it wouldnt have mattered where they moved to they'd still have been within screeching distance.

GypsyMoth · 23/08/2011 21:13

Agree with the others, but why has it bothered you this much?

Original poster
SouthernFriedTofu · 23/08/2011 21:18

The scream lasted about 2 seconds, she spoke after so didn't need to be heard over it- but was ear drum damaging I will give her that. If it had continued we would have left. It just really wound me up because it seemed so mean at the time, I don't think DH seemed that bothered so wondered who was BU.

OP posts:
DoMeDon · 23/08/2011 21:24

Tbh YABU now - let it go - she heard a scream, didn't want to sit there, end of.

thisisyesterday · 23/08/2011 21:38

yeah but she didn;t know that your dd wasn't going to keep doing it did she? or that you would have taken her out? some people would have just sat there...

i think you're over-reacting.

some people don't like screaming kids. some people don't like kids full stop, and she is perfectly entitled to say so, to her friend!

Hassled · 23/08/2011 21:40

She said what popped into her head - it was an instinctive response. She probably regretted it.

ChumleeIsMyHomeboy · 23/08/2011 21:42

Let this be a lesson to you then! Please please teach your child NOT to scream in public. I can't think of a more aggravating, head shattering, nerve frying racket and it switches me from reasonable to screaming bitch in less than a nanosecond.

libelulle · 23/08/2011 21:45

Chumlee the op's child is clearly a baby. How do you teach a baby not to screech? I'd love to know...

pictish · 23/08/2011 21:46

Hmmm...my little daughter went through a stage of screeching at top volume for the fun of it - she used to do it on the bus....and no matter what, she would not be talked down. She was just a baby....maybe 15 months or so?

Anyway yes....yabu....and taking it too personally. So she didn't want to sit next to the screamin' demon.....it's allowed.

shrug

Hulababy · 23/08/2011 21:47

I know Dennys; quite like it as a diner too :)

If it was a one off screetch and last very short period of time then I see no problem. And the lady was wrong to comment so openly too.

But maybe she'd ad a tiring time, had a headache or whatever and was meaning to just comment to her friends. Screaming and squealing children drive me potty. I didn't have a squealer luckily and it really goes through me. Had a very unfortanate lunch in one of the Disney parks the other week where a toddler screamed and squealed on and off and no parent removed him at all. Maybe she'd had one of those days and thought the one screech was the start of more.

But even so she should have kept quiet after that one squual.

BTW, imo, the fact that is was Dennys is irrelevent. Children should beave in any restaurant whether it is a posh one or a McDonalds type one. Similarly noisy - by which I mean screaming, squealing, crying loading, tantrumming - children should be removed from all of these places til they calm down. And they shouldn't be allowed to run round any of them either. Good behaviour and manners shouldn't be reserved for expensive restaurants only.

ChumleeIsMyHomeboy · 23/08/2011 21:47

Sorry, must have missed the bit where OP says the child is a baby. Where is that?

pictish · 23/08/2011 21:47

Chumlee - erm.....how does one stop a baby from screeching pray tell? Hmm

Original poster
SouthernFriedTofu · 23/08/2011 21:48

You are probably right hassled guess I am BU.

chumlee if you know a way of teaching a 7 month old (as of yesterday) to not screech let me know.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 23/08/2011 21:48

I assume the OP's child is a baby as she says she was gurgling.

Original poster
SouthernFriedTofu · 23/08/2011 21:49

bit of a xpost there Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
SouthernFriedTofu · 23/08/2011 21:50

yes hula I also

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 23/08/2011 21:51

I don't think anyone was being unreasonable.

Takitezee · 23/08/2011 21:51

A bit of over reaction on both parts I think but not a big deal. Children and babies make noise and if your dd had only just started then you wouldn't have had a chance to do anything about it.

I love Dennys by the way.

BluddyMoFo · 23/08/2011 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SouthernFriedTofu · 23/08/2011 21:55
OP posts:
SheCutOffTheirTails · 23/08/2011 22:02

I think she was rude and unnecessarily mean.

Babies and small children can be noisy, but they are people and are allowed out in public and people who expect them to "behave" according to the standards of adults or older children are a bigger pain in the arse than a screecher.

Children should beave in any restaurant whether it is a posh one or a McDonalds type one. Similarly noisy - by which I mean screaming, squealing, crying loading, tantrumming - children should be removed from all of these places til they calm down. And they shouldn't be allowed to run round any of them either.

:o

Yes, and they should never wake before 7am and should be able to make their parents breakfast in bed from the time they can walk.

Oh, oh, and they should be able to do amusing tricks to keep adults entertained between courses when out for a meal - juggling, ventriloquism, pretending to be Toulouse-Lautrec.

PenguinArmy · 23/08/2011 22:05

I had the southern fried tofu once in that southern vegan resturant in San Fran (there is only one), 'twas rank

as you were

Hulababy · 23/08/2011 22:13

To my opinions. It's what I inisist on when my daughter has watt. Out with us since she was small. I don't like me meals Spoilt, so definitely wouldn't allow her to spoil others time either. Go prepared and deal with excess noise and it's not a problem ime.