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AIBU?

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Original poster

What should house keeping money cover?

35 replies

Cleek · 21/08/2011 05:01

Can someone give me some advice on what should HKM cover? Should the money be used to pay for myself and the children for haircut, clothes, shoes, brithday gifts, dentist or eyetest etc? Things that are not used on the house but the people live in it?

OP posts:
JeelyPiece · 21/08/2011 05:16

Impossible to say as I don't get the concept of having no access to money other than what DH gives out as a housekeeping allowance. If you aren't allowed to spend the housekeeping on clothes and haircuts etc how are you supposed to pay for these things? I take it you don't have paid employment if you're getting 'housekeeping'.

Why don't you keep all your finances together? Surely it's all family money.

RebelFromTheWaistDown · 21/08/2011 05:26

Yes your HKM should cover all those things in your OP.

iscream · 21/08/2011 05:28

Food, gas for the car, for any persons who come to the door like paper carrier, or kids selling stuff. But you need money for all of the things you mentioned, plus more. Things like swimming, or any classes, emergency taxi or medicine. I keep a few dollars in the house but mostly just use the bank card for hair etc. Dh pays the bills from the same account I use for hair, clothing and so on, so I guess it is housekeeping.

TheSkiingGardener · 21/08/2011 06:09

Everything you and the children need.

Plus enough for the time machine to take you back to the 1950's. Or enough for the classes to teach DH that what's his is the families.

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/08/2011 06:30

All foreseeable living expenses, plus a cushion for the unforeseeable.

So not just mortgage/council tax/insurances/utilities/TV licence/groceries, but dental/eye/hair/chiropody etc; school costs e.g. lunches, trips, uniform; petrol, fares; clothing and shoes; activities fees; the occasional coffee with friends; birthday gifts; birthday parties for DC.

That's just off the top of my head , and is a far from exhaustive list.

iscream · 21/08/2011 06:37

Cleek I may have misunderstood your question. Do you mean cash in the house, for daily stuff, or did you mean for the entire months worth of bills, food, clothing, all childrens expenses?

Sofabitch · 21/08/2011 06:54

If you are going to live in the 1950's then house keeping should cover all the expenses you have. However I'm not really sure what you mean. I think you need to clarify the situation more.
If you have a housekeeping budget and it's not enough then you either need more money or you and your dp needs to take a realistic look at the households spending needs.

purplepidjin · 21/08/2011 07:16

What's so 1950s about Housekeeping, and where did the OP say she was given it by her DH?

DP and I have HK, it's just another name for the money we put aside to buy food, pay bills etc Hmm

You may be getting confused with Pin Money, which is an allowance given by the husband for all the trinkets necessary to keep a woman happy - you know, sanitary protection, make up, stockings...

Wink
exoticfruits · 21/08/2011 07:30

Housekeeping money sounds a very old fashioned concept, as if DH has the purse strings and not equal spending rights. Maybe this isn't the case and you are just referring to a budget for household things.
I would say that housekeeping money would be food, cleaning materials and anything needed for the house.
Anything needed for people, clothes, birthday presents, outings etc are entirely separate.

MumblingRagDoll · 21/08/2011 07:47

purple I don't think anyones getting confused...in the UK HKM is or was generally what a man gave to his wife for household expenditure. Pin Money was more like poacket money for fancy things.

OP...HKM should cover everything.

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 21/08/2011 08:13

We do it like this. DH sorts all the DDs SOs - mortgage, electric etc. We then have a set amount (all budgeted in advance) for food, clothes, haircuts, petrol, kids clubs, presents anything really that is day to day expenditure and not a monthly bill. I control this money and make sure it works. I call it housekeeping for want of a better word. I certainly do not live in the 1950s. If we need something out of the ordinary we chat about it first. We have to stick to the budget as our disposable income does not allow us to spend with abandon.

Melly20MummyToPoppy · 21/08/2011 08:13

I have an HKM bank account, i put so much of my wages in a month, this pays for gas, electric, water and waste. DP pays the mortgage, council tax, insurance, tv license and food. Basically he pays for everything apart from what i pay for.

TheSecondComing · 21/08/2011 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCompanyofWolefs · 21/08/2011 09:10

OP, sounds like you need a job.

catgirl1976 · 21/08/2011 10:04

Like other posters, I don't know what you mean by "House Keeping Money". Are you asking what monthly outgoings a household has so you can budget? Or are you talking about reciveing money from your DH to cover set things? If it is the latter then what is covers is the least of your worries.

We have one bank account. Everything goes into and comes out of that.

eurochick · 21/08/2011 11:09

I don't think there is any "should" as to what housekeeping money covers. It means whatever you want it to mean and covers whatever you want it to cover.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 21/08/2011 11:13

housekeeping is too vague. What you need is a proper budget.
£x for food
£x for clothes
£x mortgage
£x utilities
£ personal stuff (like haircuts)
etc etc etc

sjuperwolef · 21/08/2011 11:19

eek, we spend together - joint account.

FabbyChic · 21/08/2011 11:19

My mother used to get housekeeping and it paid for the shopping. If anything was needed for the us children, or for activities or for electric, gas, any direct debits they were additional.

Are you with someone who only gives you X amount a week and expects it to pay for XXXXXX and there is nothing left?

Do you get the child benefit?

If you are being kept short of money then you need to write everything down that the week costs you.

No body in a relationship should be made to feel that they are being kept short of money whilst the other spends what they like on themselves that is just plain selfish.

However without further information it is hard for anybody to help you.

MightyQuim · 21/08/2011 13:39

Of course housekeeping money is outdated! It assumes that the woman is solely responsible for 'keeping the house' for starters. And from the tone of the op I assume her dp/dh is not even wanting to give her enough pocket money housekeeping to live on.
I'm a sahm and dh goes out to work. Therefore we both contribute to the family and have equal access to the family finances. DH would be embarrassed to give me an allowance - I'm not a teenager.

Mabelface · 21/08/2011 13:42

We share our overdraft equally.

PigeonPie · 21/08/2011 13:57

Like Fuzzywuzzy, we call it housekeeping for want of a better word and it works for us. DH puts an amount into my account every month for food and fuel and a bit of my own spending money (we each have £50 no questions asked pocket money) mainly so I know how much I've got to spend. Everything else is budgeted for but out of our joint account. I keep reasonable control of both accounts but DH also has access, obviously, to the joint.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 21/08/2011 14:24

Fabby I'm often left boggled by your posts, but today I think you got it spot onGrin

exoticfruits · 21/08/2011 14:58

I think that you need a joint account for joint expenditures and then one each, and, even if you don't have a job, you should have equal amounts in your own accounts (unless he has unequal expenses such as season rail fare). If he has the money and is doling it out, as if you supporting him in a career by being at home isn't equally important, then I would get a job and tell him that you both need to pay for child care and cleaner since it is equally his DCs and his house.

fatlazymummy · 21/08/2011 15:00

I used to get housekeeping money from my exhusband. He called it this because he was paid in cash weekly [going back a few years]. I used it to pay all the bills, buy food, household things, clothing for myself and children, cigarettes when I smoked, christmas shopping etc. I had total control over it and money I earned was extra. We did it that way because my husband was from a traditional working class family and also wasn't organised enough to pay the bills himself. He kept his spending money to himself but did treat the kids and me sometimes as well.
It never was an issue for me because I did get enough to have a little bit for myself. It does become an issue if one partner is being kept short and the other one is spending freely.