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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What should house keeping money cover?

35 replies

Cleek · 21/08/2011 05:01

Can someone give me some advice on what should HKM cover? Should the money be used to pay for myself and the children for haircut, clothes, shoes, brithday gifts, dentist or eyetest etc? Things that are not used on the house but the people live in it?

OP posts:
80sMum · 21/08/2011 15:09

It should cover whatever you and you DH/DP agree in advance it should cover.
Did you have an agreed list of what's 'in' and what's 'out' when you decided the amount that was to be allocated for housekeeping? If not, then maybe now would be a good time to discuss it.

lazylula · 21/08/2011 15:21

I have a 'housekeeping' account, which is just for food. I then have the cb and tc in another account that mostly pays for mine and the children's 'needs' (clothes, clubs ect). The joint account is for bills, diesel for dh and other bits and I try not to take any monmey from there unless absolutelt necessary, then I just tell dh I have done it so we are aware of what happens with that account.

gaaagh · 21/08/2011 15:29

I think that although a lot of people use the phrase "housekeeping money" what you really mean is "household budget money", just like us....

I use the term "housekeeping money" a lot but by this I really mean:

anything relating to HOUSEHOLD expenses.

This would include, monthly:

council tax payments
mortgage
utilities
food
Car tax, MOT, service
bus fares
tv license
and so on

... but not haircuts, clothes for anyone.

Basically "housekeeping" to me is anything for the entire household which is non-negotiable, or so close to non-negotiable as to be indistinct.

Does that help? If OP can clarify what she means by her post, that would be helpful.

ChippingIn · 21/08/2011 15:32

One post at 5am - could be a poster outside of the UK I guess. Odd not to have come back though.

exoticfruits · 21/08/2011 16:34

I think that she needs to come back and say what she means by 'housekeeping' money for anyone to be of any help. I think that perhaps I am taking it the wrong way.

zukiecat · 21/08/2011 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shodan · 21/08/2011 17:19

See, in this house, 'housekeeping money' is what is paid into my current account, along with CB. This is used for clothes, haircuts, food and petrol. Any large (ish) items, such as the Vax I bought last month, are not included. It includes money for going out/whatever else I want to spend it on.

It does not include bills of any kind, even dentist/vet

If I go over the agreed amount (I pay for most things on my credit card, then clear it every month- but my CC limit exceeds my HK amount) I tell DH and he pays the relevant amount into my account.

marriedinwhite · 21/08/2011 19:30

When I was a SAHM (1996 - 2003) I paid for food, petrol, and day to day expenses such as birthday presents up front and put all the bills in a box in the kitchen and DH gave me a monthly cheque to cover what had been spent. The DC's clothes were purchased out of the child benefit money. I also had some savings put aside and a very small monthly income of about £100.00. DH paid all other expenses and when we had a special occasion to go to such as a wedding he happily stumped up the cost of a new outfit and occasionally said "you haven't had much lately - do you need some money for clothes"?.

When I went back to work in 2003 I wanted more control over budgeting and we decided that DH would give me £500 to cover food bills. Since I went to work full time, I have taken on the DC's health insurance and the running costs (tax, parking permit, petrol but not insurance and servicing) for my car. DH now gives me £700 pcm housekeeping and I buy everything I need, everything the DC need (including music tuition, activities and school trips) and all clothes for the dc but no way does £700 cover it and if I wasn't working we would either have a much tighter budget or DH would have to give me more money.

DH pays for everything else, gas, electricity, phone, insurance, cars, school fees, holidays, cleaner, decorating and maintenance.

We have both always kept separate bank accounts and have been very autonomous about our individual finances but I think that's easy when, as Mr Micawber say, income has always exceeded expenditure and also when neither of us are especially extravagant in relation to our income. Even DD (13) can't be persuaded to go shoe shopping and has lived the summer in a pair of falling to pieces £7.99 ballet pumps, flip flops for a fiver and imitation converses for £4.00 from Primark!!

mummymeister · 21/08/2011 19:46

we have a joint account regardless as to who is /isnt working at any given time. the whole concept of housekeeping money in the sense that i understand it ( a man earning money and giving a proportion to the woman to spend on household expenses) is all a bit 1960's imo.

MightyQuim · 21/08/2011 19:47

I think that a dp giving an allowance to their partner of any kind is just wrong. Surely the family finances should be shared and one member of the family should not have a higher standard of living just because they are the one who works/earns more. Providing one side of the couple isn't a particularly lavish spender beyond what the family can afford surely you spend what you need on expenses and the kids etc not whatever your partner decides you're allowed to spend.

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