To think that among all idiotic Facebook statuses, this is the worst

[HengshanRoad]

"Sweet girls come from the south, barbies come from Essex, but NORTHERN girls have fire and ice in our blood! We can drive in the mud, haul wood, handle the cold, beat the heat, be a princess, throw a right hook and drink with the boys! We can cook a wicked meal and if we have an opinion... You bet your arse you're gonna hear it!!! Copy and paste if you're a NORTHERN girl and proud of it!!!!!"

Seriously? Who thinks up this shite?

Your mum?

Sorry couldn't resist

Just telling the truth aren't they?

Are you one of them poncey southerners Hengshan?

Only one response to that: LOL.

No seriously, it's absolute bollocks. What's worse is that it makes little to no actual sense.

Oooo love it, am copying and pasting that pronto!! am northern

Cheese on toast innit!

I'm northern myself, but find it utterly execrable.

Yeah I can do all that too. But I don't want to.

Roughly translated that means you can look quite nice whilst collecting wood, driving a car, getting shit faced and punching someone in the face. You may also be able to rustle up beans on toast whilst gobbing off at the same time?

So Northern girls lack charm then ?

What a ridiculous statement, I'd be embarrassed a hell to post that as my status.

i bet it was adapted from some yank shit LOL

This is the only copy and paste status I've ever laughed at...though I still didn't C&P it!

Please copy and paste this on your status if you know someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except a punch in the face, but we can raise awareness

You can't have fire and ice in your blood at the same time. The fire would melt the ice and you would end up with slush, or very diluted blood.

What's wrong with being a southern softie? I may be from the south but I still love gravy and chips

Haul wood?

I am not northern, but i lived oop north for 5 years and I never saw any girls (or boys) hauling wood around!

Makes them sound like Shrek tbh. Not something I aspire to.

This one made me laugh and I did use it
So sad! Please put this on your status if you know someone, or are related to someone, who suffers from stupidity. We need to understand that stupidity is real and should be taken seriously. You could be sitting next to a sufferer right now. There is still no known cure for stupidity & sympathy does not help. But we can raise awareness. 87.365% won't re-post this because they don't know how to copy & paste. Do you?

You haven't lived until you've seen a bit of northern wood hauling Cookie.

DD is a northern girl, being born in Sunderland. She went wood hauling only last night. She 'rescued' some wood from a skip for the woodburner.

It's no "Give soldiers footballers wages!!!!!!!!"

Aaah I've heard this ice and fire bollocks before

It means the person acts like a total and utter bitch the whole time but insists "all my friends know how soft, warm and wonderful I am, I just don't take shit"

No you don't take shit as its hard to accept it when you are dolling it out with both hands...and yes former colleague I am thinking about you and your nonsensical witterings.

This looks suspiciously like the work of agriculture students from Yorkshire who are drinking studying at the University of Newcastle upon Tyne.

Loam and Lager 101.

This one is still my favourite status
Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone. If you don't know anyone, or even if you've heard of anyone who doesn't know anyone, then do still copy this. It's important to spread the message. Oh, and the hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥ FOR GODS SAKE, don't forget the hearts.
Confused loads of my friends, that one did.

This is the only cut and paste status I have ever cut and pasted myself:

Some doctor on tv this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started & hadn't finished, then I finished off a bottle of Vodka, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pock of Prungles, 1/2 chesecke an a boc a choclez. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feeel now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov innr pisss.

The only one I've reposted is:

PLEASE put this as your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by pandas. Pandas are nearly unstoppable and when hungry, also breathe fire. 71% of people won't copy this into their status because they have already been eaten by pandas, 28% are hiding in their showers with a fire extinguisher awaiting the coming pandocalypse and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.

Silk that is full of win!*

*That's vair funny!

nah its the "I wish heaven had a phone so i could call you and tell you how much i miss you" bleugh!!

or

if my great aunty freda was still alive, she would be 159 today! WTF!