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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Expectant daddy off galavanting day before due date.

51 replies

Lynzer · 09/08/2011 22:08

So my beloved has another love in his life, Noel Gallagher. And while I think hes rather fab myself, Im a little concerned that Daddy-to-be would like to go off to a concert about 2 hours away the night before the due date of our 1st baby.
I have left the decision fully with him, and reminding him that if he does go and i go into labour il expect him to get home straight away. What are your thoughts ladies? Should he stay or should he go? (and take me out for a nice meal before the abandonment of course) ;-)
Also, what are the DD DS etc abbreviations please, tis all new to me.
Hope all you yummy mummies are well xxx

OP posts:
FantasticMissFox · 09/08/2011 22:11

Its up to you but shouldn't your DH be taking you out for a nice pre baby dinner instead of going off on his own??
acronyms

thisisyesterday · 09/08/2011 22:13

i think he should go

only about 5% of babies are born on their due date... it's a rough estimate, and you're unliekly to actually give birth then

as long as he is absolutely willing to come straight back if you go into labour then i don't see the problem

Original poster
Lynzer · 09/08/2011 22:14

Oh dont you worry, he flippin will be ;-)

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 09/08/2011 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn · 09/08/2011 22:15

Well my dd arrived the day before my due date!

The fact is you never know, you could have had it the day before (would he still go??) or two weeks later.

Personally I would let him go.

LordOfTheFlies · 09/08/2011 22:15

Mmmmm, I can't really see your DH wanting to be away from you when it comes to D-Day, he is going to get more wound up (and probably more useless if personal experience is any thing to go by)

My DH was at work when I went into labour but I was already in hospital.Seeing him walk through the door was one of the best sights in my entire life.

So I reckon he'll give NG a body swerve.( I wouldn't go to an Oasis gig even if I were paid but that's another matter) !

Good luck.Grin

headfairy · 09/08/2011 22:15

Yeah... Let him go. Will be the last time for a while that either of you will be able to have some carefree fun. First babies rarely arrive on their due date... Why deprive him of a night out unnecessarily? Just use it as an opportunity to score and store a few points.

rhondajean · 09/08/2011 22:16

I wouldnt like it, both mine were early and very short labour and two hours is a long way in my book. DH had his very first ticket for an old firm game (huge huge deal and like hens teeth to get) the day DD1 arrived. She is almost 12 and he has almost stopped mentioning it. But he wouldnt have swapped what he did for the world.

Eglu · 09/08/2011 22:16

I've had 2 babies arrive early and one of them was my first. I would not be happy. Also only had a 4 hour labour with my first, so not a lot of time for travelling.

FakePlasticTrees · 09/08/2011 22:17

Tell your DP (Darling Partner) that you will need him to be there, or you need an alternative birthing partner. How does he feel about missing his child's birth? (If he's fine with that, you might have bigger problems.)

Very few woman actually have their DC (darling Child/ren) on the due date, most arrive early or late. If it's early, then no way he'll be able to go, so it'll be a waste of money. Could he go to another gig later in the year?

ImperialBlether · 09/08/2011 22:18

No, it's too close to your due date. Besides, he'll be able to see him again, won't he?

StayFrosty · 09/08/2011 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toobluntforboss · 09/08/2011 22:19

It's a hard one and whilst it would be nice to have him close by, it's likely his last chance to go to a concert for a while so good if he can make the most of being child free. Also majority of babies don't come on their due date so if baby hasnt already arrived by then, it's likely they will be late (not sure of %s really but I know it's relatively small for babies to arrive when expected!). Assuming he's a great DH in other aspects I'd try to let it go - tell him to enjoy himself but make sure he doesn't drink and can come home as soon as you need him. If you're worried about being on your own, could you ask a friend round? Congrats on your impending arrival btw, it is v exciting and daunting all at once!

mummytotwoboys · 09/08/2011 22:21

why wont he be able to go if its early? he could have a month old baby by then . . I think YABU speaking as someone who had two very overdue babies and one 10 days early - Baby WONT arrive on your due date. The only situation I can see where he wouldnt be able to attend the concert is if baby is one or two days old or you are actually in labour when he goes. If you are very pregnant and not about to have it, you will be glad to get rid of DP for a few hours, if you had it a few weeks before (or days) he will be ok to go out for a few hours. (TBH honest I was glad to get rid of mine I wouldnt some time with just me and baby :) )

mummytotwoboys · 09/08/2011 22:22

*wanted not wouldnt

Original poster
Lynzer · 09/08/2011 22:23

Thanks ladies, food for thought. I have more or less said go for it with the disclaimer that if he misses the birth of his child he will regret that terribly. Or maybe he thinks hes avoiding the long, more tedious part of labour by skipping off with his friends! Either way Im maybe being a little over nervous becasue this is the 1st and i dont want to have to go by myself or with my lovely best friend who faints at the sight of blood and is mostly under the influence of vodka these days as she struggles with singledom, poor thing.
Im sure the chances of going on time arent that high, but im normally such a punctual and well organised person!
Thanks for all your input :-)

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 09/08/2011 22:24

I'm more shocked by his taste in music than anything else tbh!

scarletfingernail · 09/08/2011 22:25

I'd let him go unless there was any sign that your labour is starting. Although I wouldn't be keen the chances of something happening are slim if nothings happening when we leaves you.

It's your first baby, he can be home within a couple of hours of your labour starting and still have days hours to spare. First babies usually take ages to arrive once labour's started (sorry), please try not to worry Smile

scarletfingernail · 09/08/2011 22:28

Blush sorry for appalling grammar in second sentence. I'm very tired.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 09/08/2011 22:34

My DH went to see Roger Water's The Wall 2 weeks before my due date.
He kept his mobile on him and was fully prepared to come home if anything were to kick off.
YANBU to let him go but he must be prepared to bail if you get any twinges!

And I am afraid YABVVVVU to use the term "yummy mummies" in references to MNers - we are a nest of vipers, doncha know Wink

Welcome aboard anyway!

TalesOfTheUnexpected · 09/08/2011 22:37

Tough call. I'm in two minds about this one.

On the one hand, first babies rarely make an appearance on their expected due date, but some do. My first baby was nearly 2 weeks late. But things can happen suddenly and unexpectedly.

Second pregnancy (twins). I was 35 weeks along, ex husband went out, said he'd be back at a reasonable time and I was still looking out the window for him at 3am the next morning. I went into labour 2 hours later. He spent the whole labour telling me he felt terrible and needed something to eat. I just wanted to hack him to death with a machete.

Good luck with your first baby. Precious times.

VeronicaCake · 09/08/2011 22:45

If you want to invoke the law of sod I'd let him go. He'll just be getting to the end of the warm-up acts when your contractions reach the 3-4min apart stage and he'll need to come hurtling home.

If you don't let him go you'll probably go 10 days overdue.

Nanny0gg · 09/08/2011 22:46

I don't understand 'let him go'.
Why on earth does he want to go when your baby's birth is so imminent?
This isn't the only thread where the father's social life seems to be interfered with by the inconsiderate timing of the birth of their baby.
Tough!
They should be willing to make this tiny 'sacrifice' and bloomin' well stay at home!

yousankmybattleship · 09/08/2011 22:49

Let him go. It is very unlikely anything will happen if you haven't had any signs before he goes and it might be his last chance for a while to let his hair down. If he's only a couple of hours away he'll have plenty of time to get back if things do start to happen.

foreverondiet · 09/08/2011 22:49

I personally would be ok about my DH going as long as he promised that he'd have his phone on providing that:

a) he was prepared to cancel if the baby had already come and was less than a few days old
b) he'd come right back if you were in labour

Very few babies come on due dates and first babies generally take a long time in coming (ie from first pangs etc)

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