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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have been shocked by this?

47 replies

biddysmama · 02/08/2011 15:22

because no one else seemed shocked at all...

talking at breastfeeding group about sleep, new mum was saying how tired she was, baby not sleeping, the usua
one of the other mums (she has 5 children) said she couldnt do with out enough sleep so she puts the 4 month old baby in the moses basket in the bathroom and shuts the doors so she cant hear him, she cant put him in with the other children because theres no room...

the conversation carried on about cc and cio, the usual while my jaw was on the floor.... is that normal?

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 02/08/2011 15:23

Not normal as such, but sometimes you do what you have to do.

My parents used to put my sister to sleep in the downstairs bathroom when she was a baby because she never stopped crying...

SixtyFootDoll · 02/08/2011 15:24

I don't see the problem.
Both of mine were in their own rooms within a month as their snuffly breathing kept me awake.
Bathroom not ideal but it stops the other children getting woken up I suppose.
Maybe try and see this for her POV before you judge?

DoMeDon · 02/08/2011 15:33

You seem out for a cc bunfight today Hmm

She has 5 DC to look after and needs some sleep. Not ideal, I wouldn't do it myself but it's not shocking.

PonceyMcPonce · 02/08/2011 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pippala · 02/08/2011 15:37

One of my clients put her toddler in the downstairs loo with a duvet after the birth of 2nd child!
She was in a back brace due to curveture of the spine so was not an easy toddler.
i was shocked that her Mum was so open about the fact but came out of sheer desperation for sleep?

worldgonecrazy · 02/08/2011 15:37

YANBU to be shocked by this. It sounds terribly Victorian.

My friend had a baby who cried all the time. Luckily she didn't believe in shutting him in the bathroom otherwise they might not have noticed the reason he was crying was twisted gut and he was about 2 hours from dying.

Babies cry because they need, not because they want.

icooksocks · 02/08/2011 15:38

My youngest dc spent the first three months of his life in the alcove at the top of the stairs. His cot wouldn't fit in our room, he was still waking up in the night so couldn't go in with his older brother, and quite frankly I was buggered if I was paying £30 for a Moses basket which would have got minimal use due to his size, I'm nota great believer in Moses baskets.

Catslikehats · 02/08/2011 15:38

I wouldn't do it but I haven't done CC with any of my DC's and that is all that it is. Some are for some are against. Just sound a bit weird cos it's in a bathroom.

Original poster
biddysmama · 02/08/2011 15:38

not after a bun fight but the other thread made me think of this woman

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 02/08/2011 15:44

Sorry, pressed post by mistake.

I don't think I could diagnose a twisted gut in a crying baby. It's nor really relevant to having your baby in a separate room.

worldgonecrazy · 02/08/2011 16:20

BitofFun it is relevant to putting your baby in another room so that you can ignore its cries. The OP stated that the mum put the baby in another room so that she didn't have to listen to him cry.

2shoes · 02/08/2011 16:26

wow sounds like no mum should ever be away from thier baby just in case it is 2 hours from dying

zukiecat · 02/08/2011 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flimflammery · 02/08/2011 16:36

Shutting a baby in a room where no-one can hear him cry is NOT the same as controlled crying, btw.

Catslikehats · 02/08/2011 16:54

You're still leaving a baby to cry for a given period though aren't you?

Whatmeworry · 02/08/2011 17:01

First priority is a sane mother, and that means getting enough some sleep.

catgirl1976 · 02/08/2011 17:29

My parents used to put my sister in the basement as she never stopped crying and they couldn't hear her in there. It was a warm, dry nice basement - not a dingy cellar, but the didn't see anything wrong with that and it didn't do her any harm (so far as I can tell).

rainbowtoenails · 02/08/2011 17:40

In 'the olden days' didnt babies just get kept/left in their prams at the end of the garden all day, only brought in for 4hrly feeds?

I think parenting is much harder these days.

AandK · 02/08/2011 18:54

I once went to sleep on the settee and left ds crying in the bedroom.

I think its important to make sure you get enough rest other wise you can feel like you're losing your mind.

Its much easier to deal with a screaming baby when you're all refreshed.

Poweredbypepsi · 02/08/2011 18:59

I think that doing it once or twice while if you are about to snap is totally different to doing it on a regular basis. I have four (two who had reflux) and so i can understand how tired she must be so I do feel sorry for her but it does seem a strange thing to do to me. No baby cries for the sake of it - if she has a partner surely he should be taking the baby so she can sleep if she doesnt do you think she could have been reaching out for help by telling you this?

AandK · 02/08/2011 18:59

"Babies cry because they need, not because they want."
Not true!!! My ds was crying because at one point he would only go to sleep if he was latched on to my breast. He wasn't feeding while he was there he just prefered it to his dummy!! It took us a couple of exhausting weeks to get him out of it.

Poweredbypepsi · 02/08/2011 19:01

but AandK he wanted the comfort so that is a need for a young baby not simply a want.

AandK · 02/08/2011 19:06

you just said it wanted the comfort. he could have got it from his dummy not me.

May I just also add this was nearly 10 years ago and I have a lovely intelligent, well balanced not clingy/needy or detatched little boy Grin

CustardCake · 02/08/2011 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattyDevine · 02/08/2011 19:06

They day I have 5 children and a non-sleeping baby and deal with it better is the day I would judge. Even then I might not!

YABU