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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How much do I owe??

63 replies

TelephoneTree · 26/07/2011 21:09

My 4 year old DS is going to be looked after by another family's nanny for 3 days over the holidays, while she's looking after the other family's children (they're all friends, play really well together and the other family are happy for this to happen).

Now I asked her how much she charges and she said that she charges £9 per hour but is happy to take less as she's looking after the others anyway. I asked if she charges £9 per child and she said 'per family'.

What is usual in this situation?? I have no experience at all.

OP posts:

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 26/07/2011 21:11

No idea. Why don't you ask her what she is willing to take and then you can decide whether you are willing to pay that?

valiumredhead · 26/07/2011 21:12

If she said £9 per hour, then it's £9 per hour

RitaMorgan · 26/07/2011 21:13

She's employed by the other family at £9 an hour then. I would offer at least £6 an hour for her to take your child too.

Sewmuchtodo · 26/07/2011 21:19

Well it depends........
How many hrs will she have your DS each day? Who will supply his food, drinks, ice lollies etc?

PercyPigPie · 26/07/2011 21:26

Shouldn't you be paying the other family, not her?

valiumredhead · 26/07/2011 21:29

Why would she pay the other family?

youarekidding · 26/07/2011 21:32

How many children do the other family have? I she charges £9/hr regardless of how many children in a family she may not charge more which means you should be paying the family who pay her. Probably your share of £9 split between No of children.

Alternatively, could you maybe suggest to nanny that you pay for her to take all the children somewhere on one of the days each week? The other family may like to now their children will get a day out (free for the family) and nanny may well like the idea of a day out each week? You need to discuss with nanny and other family all together.

TheSecondComing · 26/07/2011 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead · 26/07/2011 21:35

You need to be slightly careful about paying her less than £9 per hour - her employers might not be too happy knowing you are getting their Nanny's services for a cheaper rate than they pay. Just a thought.

Original poster

TelephoneTree · 26/07/2011 21:36

Thanks everyone.
The other family has 2 children.
She's be looking after my DS for a long 8-6 day.
The other family is expecting to continue to pay their £9 per hour and are happy for my DS to be around as they all actively like each other.
I'm assuming that I will send him with a packed lunch (or pack of sausages or something to contribute towards a group lunch) and snacks and maybe money for all to have an ice lolly or something.

OP posts:

GandTiceandaslice · 26/07/2011 21:36

At £9 per hour.
For example if she has them for 8 hours for the 3 days then thats £216 in total.

youarekidding · 26/07/2011 21:38

It sounds like to have a good relationship with the nannies employers. Why not ask them what they think?

Original poster

TelephoneTree · 26/07/2011 21:39

it's a 10 hour day.
I did ask the family and they said she charges x amount but prob wouldn't accept that for mine as she's already looking after the 2 kids...

It's a tricky one isn't it??

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 26/07/2011 21:40

She isn't charging her employers anything, or charging them per child - they employ her at a rate of £9 an hour.

Your deal with her is a separate thing, and given that it is likely to be cash in hand I'd offer her babysitting rates (I'd go with £6).

bestmate · 26/07/2011 21:46

I was just going to repeat what Rita has mentioned, if it is cash in hand on top of an already set agreement, Id offer £5 or £6 an hour. ( I pay our baby sitter £5 an hour) she may happily then take less as it is cash.

Laquitar · 26/07/2011 22:05

What Rita said. £6 ph. I was nanny many years ago and i've done this many times. I used to charge about 2/3 of my normal rate.

Some host families can be funny and try to have a deduction but since you know them and they dont after a deduction then just suggest to the nanny 6ph and in the meantime mention it to the family so that you are 100% sure everything is ok.

youarekidding · 26/07/2011 22:09

Maybe suggest £5 p/hr cash in hand and the extra £1/hr so a tenner to be given for nanny to provide ice-cream for all the dc's. That way family who employ nanny get some gain too? I really think as they are doing you a favour they should gain somewhat even if they are happy with the arrangement.

Sewmuchtodo · 27/07/2011 09:43

I agree with Youarekidding, so £150 for babysitting and £30 for treats.

marriedinwhite · 27/07/2011 09:52

When my ds was small the family next door had a nanny. The nanny occasionally looked after DS for the day or a half day (maybe once every three months). When the nanny was sick or needed doctor/dentist appointment, I used to step in. No money ever changed hands. Have times changed?

RitaMorgan · 27/07/2011 09:55

Sounds like your agreement was with the employers rather than the nanny - they provided childcare for you in exchange for you providing childcare for them. The OP is coming to an agreement with the nanny herself.

marriedinwhite · 27/07/2011 10:00

That's the bit that bothers me I think. If the nanny is employed it shouldn't really be her decision but that of the employers. I don't think I'd go there.

Mollymax · 27/07/2011 10:10

When I was a nanny, many years ago. My employers had an arrangement with another family in the village. I used to have the other familys two children, if their nanny was off sick or holidays.
I was never given any extra money for this.
I suppose it depends on who first suggested this arrangement as to how it is funded.

Laquitar · 27/07/2011 10:30

No it should be arranged with the nanny (with her employers permission that she can take extra work).
The bonus is that the second family gets childcare, the nanny gets some extra cash, and the first family looks good to both and have a happy nanny.

Arranging this ONLY with the other family wouldn't be on at all.

northerngirl41 · 27/07/2011 10:45

I'd say you need to ask the other family too - after all the nanny's time is divided between their two kids for £9/hour... If yours is added into the mix, that's less time/attention being paid to their kids.

Assuming they are okay with it, I'd pay £4.50/hour to add in your child as she's getting £4.50/child/hour.

lesley33 · 27/07/2011 11:04

I agree with poster above that £6 per hour would be the going rate for a nanny share like this. You also need to talk to her about how much you give her to spend on trips, etc. It would be easier if you gave the same amount as the other family gives per child. Then there is no issue with her not being able to afford to take the children somewhere because she doesn't have enough money for your child.

You also need to have a contract that agrees the following things:

What happens if your son is sick. Normally a nanny looks after a sick child, but the other family may not want your sick child mixing with their DC if your child is contagious.

What happens if the nanny is sick? Does she get paid for example? Is there already an arrangement for emergency cover?

Is she self employed or an employee? I assume self employed, but this needs to be made clear. Otherwise you could at some stage have the tax office chasing you for employers contribution to national insurance and for unpaid tax - and she would be entitled to paid annual leave.

Is she using a car to transport your child? If yes does she have insurance to use it at work - ask to see the insurance certificate. Who pays for petrol costs? It would be usual for the families to, but do you pay it or other family, or is it split down the middle.

Are you and the other family pretty much in agreement about how the nanny disciplines your child? If you are not it could be very difficult for the nanny and DC if she is applying rules differently to each set of DC.

Are you and the other family in agreement about how your DC's should be structured and the kind of activities they do.

It might seem a lot to think about, but it is easier to sort these things out now than trying to deal with them when they are already an issue.

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