Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not watch sleeping baby?

49 replies

jellihejj · 26/07/2011 12:07

My partner seems to think so. According to him once our 4 month old has fallen asleep we must sit and watch him 'in case something happens'. I figure while he is sleeping it would be a good idea to get some chores done, but my partner says I can't because I'm supposed to be sat with the baby. So when do I do chores? He complains that nothing gets done either. I feel like I can't win!

OP posts:
fanjobanjowanjo · 26/07/2011 12:08

Sling.

holyShmoley · 26/07/2011 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SouthGoingZax · 26/07/2011 12:09

:) When I babysat my best friend's baby for the first time at 3 months old I was upstairs every 5 minutes to check she was OK.

I was Shock when they got back in ad then sat for an hour with us chatting before they went up to check on her!!1

Now I have 2 of my own, I assume things are OK when they are sleeping (though I do admit to listening for breathing on the baby monitor when they were smaller)

pommedechocolat · 26/07/2011 12:09

Eh? It's not him doing this is it? Not his daily routine so do as you wish. I certainly didn't spend the whole time dd was asleep staring at her (past the first month anyway!).

starfishmummy · 26/07/2011 12:10

YANBU!!

So what happens at night? Do you not go to sleep? (perhaps you should make your DP sit up!).

BUT - traditionally when baby rests is the time for mum to rest so by all means do some chores but get a rest yourself too. If your partner complains about chores tell him he needs to do them

NoobytheWaspSlayer · 26/07/2011 12:12

What does he think is supposed to happen at night then? Are you supposed to stay awake 24 hours a day 'in case something happens'? Or is night time sleeping different than day time sleeping. He is being a numpty.

Lady1nTheRadiator · 26/07/2011 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

natandjacob · 26/07/2011 12:14

when my baby was 4 months old i was still napping with him when he had his long afternoon nap, its exhausting getting used to having a baby. you really dont need to sit and watch them sleep though, as long as you have the monitor on you're fine! and dont worry about nothing getting done around the house, takes a while to get in the swing of a good routine, took me at least 6 months!

BertieBotts · 26/07/2011 12:14

They are supposed to be in the same room as you, but you don't have to watch them constantly! How impractical Grin (that was me laughing at the idea. What does he think happens when you have 2?)

squeakytoy · 26/07/2011 12:14

Get his mother to tell him he is being a dick.

RainboweBrite · 26/07/2011 12:15

Sorry, but your partner is being an idiot about this. I might be wrong, but from your post it sounds as if YOU are expected to sit there watching the sleeping baby. What on earth is he doing? Maybe you could watch the sleeping baby (i.e. have a nap yourself), while HE gets on with the housework!

northerngirl41 · 26/07/2011 12:16

Haha - my DH was like this when we first had them. "The baby cannot possibly be left alone for more than 2 mins" - um, yeah right. I solved the problem by leaving him in sole charge - predictably he called his mum in who told him to stop being so stupid and go watch the football. I love my MIL!

niceguy2 · 26/07/2011 12:17

Muppet! What does he think will happen!?!?! Stick a baby monitor on, get some sleep yourself or do some chores. Whichever you need the most.

That is perhaps the worst example of helicopter parenting I've heard yet. Sat watching a sleeping baby...just in case.....

sleepindogz · 26/07/2011 12:20

lol at both sitting there waiting for "something to happen" - i guess it beats eastenders on a slow night

and as for carting baby around 24/7 in a sling, err no thanks

Olivetti · 26/07/2011 12:20

Mine has gone upstairs to her room for her naps from about 5 weeks old, while I do whatever I am doing downstairs. Why would you be in the same room? A couple of months ago, she and I were in a hotel room in the late afternoon while we waited for my DH, and she went down for her nap....and didn't sleep a wink! I'm sure it's because I was there.

Muser · 26/07/2011 12:27

I watch my baby when she naps. But that's because she is of the opinion that naps only happen in the buggy or sling. If she napped in her cot I'd be in another room doing nothing chores for sure. Or asleep in my bed. One of those. If your husband isn't there during the day just don't tell him.

Fuzzled · 26/07/2011 12:30

If he's that worried, get a movement monitor (ours is the Angelcare one).
We've also got a camera too coz I'm to lazy to run up and down stairs all night Grin

TiaMariaandDietCoke · 26/07/2011 12:33

I agree with all the other posts that your DP is being daft, but to be fair, his heart's in the right place - he seems to be over anxious over his first DC, and who can blame him?

I bet every parent on MN can recall a completely irrrational fear or habit they had with their first! He'll get over it as his confidence grows - ut in the meantime, a word from his mother may be helpful, or as some ghave suggested, leave hiom to do a couple of night shifts of 'baby watch' - he'll soon realise how ridiculous an idea it is!!

TiaMariaandDietCoke · 26/07/2011 12:35

hmmm sorry about the terrible typing - I swear I haven't been drinking at lunchtime yet!

nocake · 26/07/2011 12:37

Just an over anxious dad. Tell him that if he wants to watch the baby sleep then it's up to him but you have better things to do with your time.

Our DD was put to sleep in the bedroom on her own from a couple of days old.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 26/07/2011 12:38

Tell your partner to look up the word 'paranoia' in the dictionary Hmm What does he honestly think is going to happen to a napping baby? And what does he think surrounding a baby in so much anxiety & obsession will achieve? Put baby down & do the chores. Ignore the silly man

ChaoticAngelofGryffindor · 26/07/2011 12:41

Allocate him the night shift, he'll soon realise it's not necessary Grin

Original poster
jellihejj · 26/07/2011 12:45

When he's not in, I tend to do my own thing and get get on with the chores. Currently he's inbetween jobs, so I'm seeing more of him than I usually would. We do have a sling, but my back's gone a bit funny, so can't bear the weight for too long. I've said a million times to him that the baby is fine when he's sleeping. I've also thought how does night time sleep differ from from day time? And yes, I'm on night patrol whilst my partner just rolls over to go back to sleep.

OP posts:
Insomnia11 · 26/07/2011 12:49

I put babies in the sling sometimes, but not for very long, as they were 8lbs and 9lbs 2oz respectively at birth so soon got to a point where it would do my back in to carry them for any length of time, especially bending and lifting and doing household stuff. (And I don't have a weak back or back problems). Going for a walk with them wasn't so bad.

YADNBU to get stuff done - or have a rest yourself, while the baby is asleep. It can be nice to watch a sleeping baby at times but it's not a requirement to be with them all the time. At that age I used to put mine on the baby gym and potter around them and they'd be reasonably entertained for a bit - sometimes they'd fall asleep on there and I'd just cover them with a blanket and go and have a cup of tea in peace!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 26/07/2011 12:52

If he's bored and kicking around at home, that explains why he suddenly wants to interfere. "Chores" can be done by all household members, of course - no excuse for complaints that things aren't done if he's not doing anything himself.. Given him the bigger, nastier jobs to do... preferably ones that will take him outside for great long stretches. Does the outside of the house need painting? A shed clearing out? Gutters cleaning? Devil makes work for idle Dads....