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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really annoyed with the school?

108 replies

mumnotmachine · 12/07/2011 16:28

I picked my 9yo son up from school today and he promptly burst into tears when he saw me.

He was due on a nature walk with school this morning, he went in today with the permission slip, wellies and drink as requested.

It turns out he wasnt allowed to go on the walk- the reason? I hadnt crossed out on the permission slip I do/do not give permission.

When I enquired as to why I wasnt contacted (its not as though they had to go delving through files for my number- it was written on the permission slip) the secretary said that due to the number of people who either hadnt sent the slip back or not crossed out the relevant section the head had said it wasnt feasible to contact all those parents for permission.

There were 10 slips.

AIBU to be fuming with the HT?
While I can see that I didnt cross out the relevant part, surely the fact that he had wellies etc with him says something?
And it was 10 slips- wasnt exactly going to involve hours of phoning.

I cried my eyes out in the car- it seems so unfair.

OP posts:
MorticiaAddams · 12/07/2011 16:33

YANBU to be annoyed but YABU to cry your eyes out over it.

Lollyheart · 12/07/2011 16:33

Yanbu r poor little boy Sad

It wouldn't of taken much to ring you.
I had a text from dds school last night to say wear sensible shoes for a trip they had planned for today, I was worried all day as I never had a slip to fill in, she went but would of been upset if she didn't go.

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 12/07/2011 16:36

It sounds like the HT wanted to make a point about parents not filling forms in correctly. Totally wrong to make the kids suffer for it, though. I would be raging.

Original poster
mumnotmachine · 12/07/2011 16:36

I was very upset Morticia- he was looking forward to it, and the fact he was "punished", and stopped from going through something, not his fault at all, and so easily resolvable I fely was very unfair to him.

I'm going to see the Head tomorrow.

OP posts:
Fimbo · 12/07/2011 16:36

Hard as it is and unfair as it seems, the school are not being unreasonable. I work in a school but today was a parent helper on a school trip. The organisation involved just to walk the children from one school to another is unbelievable, add on to that toilet runs, organising a first aid kit etc oh and we had to carry newspaper to cover dogs poo that went all the way down a path in a zig zag in big lumps. To have started phoning round 10 parents before the children went off, would have held things up massively.

Original poster
mumnotmachine · 12/07/2011 16:38

But it wouldnt have held things up Fimbo- the walk was in the field adjacent to the school- and surely thats what the secretary is employed for?

OP posts:
southeasthamster · 12/07/2011 16:38

i think it's a little mean, our school will nag us if they don't get the form and certainly wouldn't let the kid miss the trip if they were unsure. our head calls me alot for certain things!

BeerTricksPotter · 12/07/2011 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheOriginalFAB · 12/07/2011 16:39

YANBU. It does seem very unfair as it is the child who has missed out for the parent's error.

Insomnia11 · 12/07/2011 16:39

I think the school has been crap. I doubt ours would even have questioned it if you'd brought in the slip, wellies and a drink. Or they would have phoned, or the teacher would have asked one of the class rep mums to phone to check.

If a parent hadn't returned the slip, then I could see their point. But it sounds like they are being petty. I would get upset about this sort of thing too, YANBU.

bumpybecky · 12/07/2011 16:40

I think the school are BU.

I'd also question who was responsible for having permission slips handed in on the day of the trip. If that's what the school asked for, then suggest they have a deadline a few days beforehand then any issues can be sorted before the trip. If it was you sending it in last minute then try harder next time.

create · 12/07/2011 16:40

I would have cried too mumnotmachine. It's hard to see your Dc upset, and your feel it especially hard when it might be (a very little bit) your fault.

I'd be furious with the school, but not really sure what you can achieve. You won't make the same mistake again (which is what the head wanted) and your poor DS has already missed the trip. What do you hope to get out of seeing the head?

Original poster
mumnotmachine · 12/07/2011 16:40

The number was on there as an emergency contact number- it has to be provided on all permission slips.

Its the disappointment from my son through something thats not his fault is whats upset me most.

OP posts:
GeneralDreedlesNurse · 12/07/2011 16:41

YABU - I'm surprised school didn't need the permission slip back sooner than the day of the trip. It's a fact of life now that as parents we have to compete these things as otherwise the child may not be covered by insurance in the event of an accident.

10 of you who can't be bothered to fill a realtively simple slip is a bit poor really - bet you're the same ones who never RSVP to party invites either [hgrin]

It was sad he had to miss out, especuially as you could argue you had given implied permission by providing wellies etc, however, I bet properly completed permission slips are returned next time there is an outing.

Fimbo · 12/07/2011 16:41

The secretary would have had to phone the parents before the children left, so it would have held them up. I know you are upset so I am not going to say anymore, but working in a school can be hard too.

bubblesincoffee · 12/07/2011 16:42

Your ds has my sympathy, but this was your fault, not the school's.

Whilst, to you, this is one simple phonecall to sort our your mistake, you have to remember that there are lots of other children in the school, and the consequenses of parents being disorganised is probably something they deal with every single day. They cannot be expected to phone parents over every little thing.

And they probably need written permission to take your ds out of the school grounds anyway. What if he'd had an accident that you wanted to take action for? They wouldn't have had a leg to stand on without written permission.

Original poster
mumnotmachine · 12/07/2011 16:42

Oh I take responsibility - of course I do, there were apparantley slips sent out Friday which I didnt get- the school sent out another yesterday as I hadnt sent the original back

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 12/07/2011 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 12/07/2011 16:43

You would think common sense would tell the school that if the parent has bothered to return the form, put a contact number on it, sign and date it, and send their little one to school with the requested kit, that would constitute permission to go on the trip!

I would be mad as a bear with the school. Pompous arses.

I gave DD's school what-for when I sent a letter to her teacher before Christmas informing her that DD would not be in the first two days of the following term as she was having an operation. I was in the hospital bricking it on the day of the op, and received one of those standard snippy texts from the school asking me to phone to explain why my child was not in school that day. Angry This following protocol and taking the correct steps works both ways ...

Insomnia11 · 12/07/2011 16:44

Sometimes schools give you about five minutes' notice of school trips and things though. We got a parents' evening form on Thursday for the following Monday/Tuesday. We got a weekend's notice to get nativity costumes sorted. Fortunately we already had the costume as we could reuse the same from last year, phew.

Fimbo · 12/07/2011 16:45

Has anyone ever been in a school office, first thing in the morning? It is chaos with phone calls, parents forgetting things, teachers asking secretaries things, parents asking questions. Oh and while the secretaries have brooms up their backsides, call 10 parents who have not filled forms in correctly. It is just not possible (and I am not a school secretary).

Original poster
mumnotmachine · 12/07/2011 16:47

But does common sense not prevail?
He had all the correct kit, the note was in the bag with it.

I'm not going to send them in if I didnt want him going!

OP posts:
Original poster
mumnotmachine · 12/07/2011 16:48

He even showed them the wellies!!

OP posts:
bumpybecky · 12/07/2011 16:48

well I think slips sent out on friday for a trip on tuesday is pitifully short notice

Insomnia11 · 12/07/2011 16:49

It's only really busy on a Monday morning at the office at our school, as I found out yesterday. Though it was still fairly calm, just a queue that was gone by nine.