to be really annoyed with the school?

[mumnotmachine]

I picked my 9yo son up from school today and he promptly burst into tears when he saw me.

He was due on a nature walk with school this morning, he went in today with the permission slip, wellies and drink as requested.

It turns out he wasnt allowed to go on the walk- the reason? I hadnt crossed out on the permission slip I do/do not give permission.

When I enquired as to why I wasnt contacted (its not as though they had to go delving through files for my number- it was written on the permission slip) the secretary said that due to the number of people who either hadnt sent the slip back or not crossed out the relevant section the head had said it wasnt feasible to contact all those parents for permission.

There were 10 slips.

AIBU to be fuming with the HT?
While I can see that I didnt cross out the relevant part, surely the fact that he had wellies etc with him says something?
And it was 10 slips- wasnt exactly going to involve hours of phoning.

I cried my eyes out in the car- it seems so unfair.

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

Its very petty. You sent the form back, filled in but missed out the [vital] bit so it was obvious it was an oversight.

It must have taken longer to organise another class for him to sit in than to phone you surely?

I would v. annoyed. I would be v.annoyed at myself and the school. But the school did it on purpose and you made a mistake.

[pointydog]

Key point: were there really 10 missing or incorrect forms?

[mumnotmachine]

I'm not sure.
The secretary told me that he wasnt the only only who had missed out, there were 10 children who either hadnt returned the slips or they werent filled in right.

If I hadnt sent a slip back it would have been a different scenario.
Its the pettiness thats made me angry

[mumnotmachine]

Plus someone in his class laughed and pointed at him and said "You cant go-oooo"

It didnt help.

[stoatie]

"Has anyone ever been in a school office, first thing in the morning? It is chaos with phone calls, parents forgetting things, teachers asking secretaries things, parents asking questions. Oh and while the secretaries have brooms up their backsides, call 10 parents who have not filled forms in correctly. It is just not possible (and I am not a school secretary)."

True but........Every year DD2 (and DS when he was in the school) came home with a letter re checking school had correct tel numbers etc. Every year the details were wrong (even though I sent in the ammended form). This Sept was no different, so as the form being corrected (which we were asked to do) made no difference I took the altered form to the office and asked if the correct details could be inputted onto the system. I was assured this would happen (details being try home number first, then husband work number, then husband mobile, and finally my mobile as I am least contactable and also husband works much closer to school).

Last week - collected my bag from locker room just after an exam - phone ringing - it was school (DD2 school trip finished and they were ready to be picked up - not late just confirming they would walk her to afterschool club as arranged.) However - no attempt had been made to contact home or husband - straight to me.

My point being maybe if secretaries updated the system when asked it would also make life easier fo rall concerned

[2shoes]

aww poor lad. I do wish we could just fill in one form each term~(as I have just done for dd's 16 plus )

[mumnotmachine]

We update every September as well stoatie.

Secretary didnt even need to go looking on this occassion though- my mobile number was on the permission slip.

[discrete]

blimey. I would be keeping my child back from school tomorrow and very pointedly taking him on the nature walk next to the school myself (with as many of the other children who missed out as I could talk their parents into allowing).

And then I would be pulling my child out of that school for good. Any school that does not put the well-being of its pupils before ANY other consideration (particularly convenience!) is not one I would be willing to send my children to.

[pointydog]

I understand it's very frustrating and your son felt miserable. The frustration should really be with your tiny mistake. I disagree that the school was being petty. 10 missing and incorrect forms is a heck of a lot, especially if this is happening more than once.

[bumpybecky]

10 missing forms is not that surprising given the lack of notice though pointydog

[pointydog]

I didn't see that about Friday. That's a bit shoddy, yes.

[MorticiaAddams]

They had a few days notice. How long does it take to fill in a form and put it in a school bag?

[ginmakesitallok]

I don't understand the point of I give/do not give my son/daughter permission to..... Does anyone ever send back a slip saying "I do not give permission..." - surely if you're not giving permission you just don't send form back???

[cantpickaname]

"That's the secretary's job" No it blolody well isn't. Its the PARENTS job to fill in/send back/complete properly/phone in - whatever it is that they are asked to do. Yes I am a school secretary and it is manic in there - especially first thing on a morning. I do feel sorry for your son missing out on his trip but this happens every single time we try to organise something and it takes up masses of time which could have been avoided in the first place.

[mumnotmachine]

Yes Morticia, but I didnt have the original letter.
It takes two seconds to fill in, which I did, I just missed a bit out.
By mistake

[cazzybabs]

The school could have made more effort to phone you but there is no way I would take a child with a form not correctly filled in.

[pointydog]

But the mistake was the bit that necessitated the phone call plus 9 others. SOme people probably forgot to put the form in teh schoolbag by mistake and it was correctly filled in.

It is really frustrating making mistakes because sometimes rubbish things happen as a result.

[littleducks]

I would suggest that if all 10 slips were filled in correctly that the school chane the form layout. Our school school has a list of tick boxes, so you either tick 'I do give permission' and sign or 'I do not' and sign so harder to miss out accidently.

It does seem like late notice too, if your child had been absent Fri/yestereday it is likely they wouldnt have a signed slip

[create]

cantpickaname, but it is the secretary's job to serve the staff, children and parents at the school. Yes, it could be ideal if your customers all got everything right everytime, but it's still your job to be helpful if there's been an obvious mistake. I could talk about all "mistakes" in the letters that come home from my DCs school, but we're all falible.

Also, if someone had just crossed out the appropriate phrase, they would have had a correctly completed and signed form, but lets not risk taking a practical view, despite the intention being lantantly obvious.

[pinkthechaffinch]

It is unfair and unfortunate but as I say to my 9 year old ds, life is frequently unfair.

can't believe both of you shed tears over it tbh

How is he going to cope when something worse happens?

If i were you I'd be teaching him to gain some perspective.


Sorry if this sounds harsh

[Pixel]

All this fuss over a little walk in a field, schools really do make things difficult for themselves don't they?
At Ds's school I fill in a permission form for class trips out at the beginning of the school year and that's more or less it apart from a small donation at the beginning of each term to cover things like bus fares and ice creams. Yes I know it's a special school but I don't see why the same idea can't apply to mainstream as long as they are going to be back before the end of the school day. Half the time I don't even find out about trips out until afterwards when I see a note in his home/school book "ds enjoyed the bus ride and afternoon at the beach". Lovely!

I would have been upset too if my child had missed out like the Op's. If he was the only one in the class who couldn't go the teacher could have showed a little initative. She didn't have to phone 10 people, just the one, and if they weren't going out until 9.30 she could have given the parent the option of popping back to finish the form properly if they were in a position to do so. After all it was obviously an honest mistake. I'm glad the teachers at ds's school aren't like this, I know they would be prepared to put themselves out a little bit in a case like this.

[Fifis25StottieCakes]

@ gin

Its crazy the amount of forms i have to fill in for 3 dd's. I would quite easily think i had signed giving permission and not crossed that bit out.

I would hope the school would be sensible enough to accept the signiture and medical details as permission to go. Especially when they turn up dressed for the occasion.

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

Schools are terrified of being sued in our compensation culture, therefore I can see why they are being what might be perceived as "petty". They have no choice but to apply the rules, and apply them to everyone.

Not worth sobbing over, take your son on the walk at the weekend.

[create]

We do the same Pixel - local walking trips around our immediate vicinity are covered by one letter when they start at the school. It's only the big trips (needing money) where an additional letter is sent.

[MorticiaAddams]

I still think it's way over the top to see the HT over this. There were mistakes on both sides and your son missed out because of it. I would have just apologised and said I'd take him somewhere nice at the weekend.