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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To HATE it when DH falls asleep on the sofa?

32 replies

MumblingRagDoll · 11/07/2011 22:02

He works nights....he's tired. But he won't sleep when he gets in from work at 7.30am ..he hangs about the kitchen for a few hours, then goes to bed at round 10 or 11.00.o Clock...fair enough...he has to chill out and have something to eat.

But he then gets up too soon...like at around 2.00pm and does his thing...plays with DC (nice) but then once the DC are in bed he lies on the sofa and snores.He wakes up intermitently to moan about what's on TV etc...but it means I can't fully relax.

We are very careful not to wake him when he's in bed after a night shift...he also wears earplugs...

He's taking up most of the sofa and I can ether sit on the other chair (miles from the TV) or sit squashed by this big, snoring beast who sometimes goes "Blech...waaa? Whossat?!"

He needs to sort it out. His Mum and Dad also fall asleep on my sofa...it must be a family thing! IN my childhood home, if you are tired you go to frigging bed!

AIBU?

OP posts:

nomdeploom · 11/07/2011 22:06

You are being a little bit u. But then I like a snooze on the sofa so am a bit biased.

Do you ask him to get up and go to bed?

PedigreeChump · 11/07/2011 22:07

YANBU.

My DH is also terrible for falling asleep on the sofa, he then doesn't sleep properly and wakes me coming to bed at 2am like a bear with a sore head. I blame his parents (of course!!) who I don't think ever gave him a proper bedtime routine - as a man of nearly 30 he finds it impossible to "put himself" to bed.

It drives me mad but at least it is in the evening and I can take myself of to bed (oh the romance...) but during the day? That would tip me over the edge!

meravigliosa · 11/07/2011 22:13

My DH does this in the evening. He won't admit he is asleep and therefore reserves the right to hog the remote, so the telly is on his choice of program while he snores away. He gets pissed off if I wake him up, and won't come to bed at a decent time even though he is tired. Drives me mad. YANBU.

Original poster

MumblingRagDoll · 11/07/2011 22:15

Oooh see! They all do it!

Well I have taken ownership of the remote now....he woke up and I tried to send him to bed but he just went and fell asleep again!

OP posts:

nomdeploom · 11/07/2011 22:15

mera remote hogging while asleep is unforgivable

Can you sneek it out of his hand while he sleeps?!

Goblinchild · 11/07/2011 22:18

It's the snoring through a programme I wanted to watch that makes me want to smother him. I've tried telling him to go to bed, but he thinks he'll just sit down for a bit and then do something useful.
Yeah, right.

Elemis · 11/07/2011 22:27

I put my foot down with this, told him to go to bed or in the other room if he wants to sleep. We had to tiptoe around him, I had to keep ds quiet?? And he would get all grumpy and have a go at ds. Not fair.
I hate falling asleep on the couch though.

Original poster

MumblingRagDoll · 11/07/2011 22:33

Mine doesn't do it when the DC are about...they'd just draw on him or something!

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 11/07/2011 22:38

Shave one of his eyebrows off next time he does it.

Guaranteed results!

Original poster

MumblingRagDoll · 11/07/2011 22:53

God. He is SO getting a moustache! Glasses too if I can manage it!

[runs off to get a Sharpie]

OP posts:

AlabamaWorley · 11/07/2011 22:59

My DH does this in the evening too. It is unreasonable to get annoyed, but then it is so annoying!

I once left him there and he woke up at 4am not knowing where he was. He was well annoyed at me.

smartyparts · 11/07/2011 23:02

I HATE it when my dh does this. It makes me think we're turning into old fogeys - my parents do it every night!

I make a point of sneaking upstairs ultra quietly if he ever falls asleep so he'll wake up and rue his old farty tendencies.

Original poster

MumblingRagDoll · 11/07/2011 23:03

I have drawn a small moustache on him.

OP posts:

Goodynuff · 11/07/2011 23:04

My DH used to call it his 'docking station'
He felt the ipod got a dock to recharge, and so did the phone, and so should he

smartyparts · 11/07/2011 23:05

I have been known to paint his toenails when he does this

NestaFiesta · 11/07/2011 23:06

Hooray! I am not alone! My DH and I have endless rows about this too.

Original poster

MumblingRagDoll · 11/07/2011 23:07

smarty I just checked and he's still got his socks on. I have a lovely glittery orange one which DD has left on the table too! Would have looked ace with his tache'!

OP posts:

NestaFiesta · 11/07/2011 23:13

It's just so annoying to watch TV with a large snorey farty man in your eyeline who shouts "I'm awake" in an angry voice every time you tell the large fast asleep man to go to bloody bed as it is annoying. It kind of drags the energy and enjoyment out of the evening when one of you is fast asleep. And its lonely. And there's a perfectly good bed upstairs with pillows and a duvet.

Glitterknickaz · 11/07/2011 23:22

Yeah, mine does this.
Often when the kids get home from school

smartyparts · 11/07/2011 23:24

My sister painted he dh's toenails once when he was zonked on the sofa - yet again.

It was a week before he noticed!

superjobeespecs · 11/07/2011 23:31

aw i love when my OH falls asleep on the couch every few days usually after tea.. he snores gently and is just so pretty :) but im a mooshy coo so i think you should remind your DH that there is only 1 sofa and you'd like to get some use of it

cricketballs · 11/07/2011 23:41

without sounding a killjoy but have you ever worked nights? it is very difficult to have a ideal sleep pattern on this shift.

think about a normal day shift; you don't go to bed for at least 5 hours after you finish work and your body is tuned to sleeping whilst it is dark. After a night shift, the day light plays havoc with your system and whilst you are tired, it is very difficult to fall asleep and then sleep for 8 hours.

When I worked nights my sleep pattern was very similar to your DH's and try as I might to sleep for longer, as it was so light (and this time of year warm) my body naturally decided that it was no longer sleep time and therefore I grew tired early in the evening.

I would cut your DH a lot of slack; he is working this shift for the benefit of your family

heleninahandcart · 11/07/2011 23:48

YANBU at least you should get the remote off him. My technique with sleeping remote grabber is to snatch it and act like you don't know anything about it

Original poster

MumblingRagDoll · 11/07/2011 23:52

Ah bollocks cricket I work frigging 24-7! Its me who gets up to the DC sometimes 3 times a night...me who gets up for school and kids every day at 6.30..me who works on my business which earns money for the family and me who cooks. And cleans. So bollocks to that.

I want the sofa to SIT on!

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 11/07/2011 23:52

If he's going to be working nights for the forseeable future I think he should try to get himself into a proper sleeping pattern, even if it's not the same as everyone else's. DP has worked nights for about 18 months now and seems to manage okay, though it took him a while to get into the reversed sleeping pattern, most days he sleeps 7/8am to 3/4pm, and often has a nap for an hour or two in the early evening, especially if he gets up before 3 or 4 (never before 12) But he always makes sure he sleeps in a bed, he used to use earplugs and a blackout blind, but needs neither now. Apparently he can sleep through DS screaming outside his door but not me saying "DS BE QUIET!!"

I know some people find it harder than others to change their sleep patterns, but letting himself fall asleep on the sofa won't be helping. He needs to decide whether he wants to sleep directly before work (as you would with a 9-5 job) or directly after it (meaning he's awake for a bit of family time and most of the evening) and then try sticking to that for a few weeks to see if he can establish a better pattern.

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