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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think an 8 month old can self-wean from breast?

53 replies

Olivetti · 11/07/2011 13:26

My DD is not interested in BFing now. It's been a gradual process, so not a nursing strike. She just doesn't want it at all. Takes lots of solids, and has a bottle of formula at night. Most people I've observed on here seem to think it's unheard of for a baby to refuse breast before 12 months, but deep down I feel she has outgrown it Sad.

OP posts:
discobeaver · 11/07/2011 13:29

If she doesn't want the boob, she doesn't want the boob. I think 8 months is ages anyway, you are right she's outgrown it.

mistressploppy · 11/07/2011 13:29

Mine lost a lot of interest around this age (was never desperately bothered, TBH) and he didn't have any bottles or formula at all. I think some DC just aren't that bothered. But I persisted and we carried on 'til one year Grin. I made sure I always offered him a boob before any solids or water.

Would you want to try ditching the bottle at night? If not, and you're happy to stop bfing, just wind it up. Do what's best for both of you.

mistressploppy · 11/07/2011 13:30

p.s. I do think that self-weaning (TRUE self-weaning) before a year is unusual though, so best to explore other things (like dropping the bottle) if you really want to continue

Jujo2011 · 11/07/2011 13:31

The same thing happened to my friend..her DD did same, started at about 7 months just not really wanting the breast, my friend was upset, but if baby doesn't want the breast anymore what can you do? She ended up giving her DD the bottle as well as the solids, as I think they still need a certain amount of milk a day until a year (I've got 600ml per day in my head for some reason, but may well be mistaken)

Congratulate yourself on breastfeeding for 8 months! It's an achievement!!!

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 11/07/2011 13:32

I agree with ploppy - it might be worth trying to drop the bottle.
Or if she thinks it's easier to take a bottle, could you exchange that for expressed milk?

WhipMeIndiana · 11/07/2011 13:32

my ds did at 7mths. couldnt make him, so switched to cartons of premade formula in sippy cups

reallytired · 11/07/2011 13:32

Its rare, but I know other people who have had similar experiences. Eight months is young, but I have met other mums whose babies have self weaned before a year.

Child development varies considerally. Some children walk at 7 months, but others walk at 2 years old. My dd self weaned at 22 months.

I think its best to feel proud of what you have achieved and not care about other opinons.

sparkle12mar08 · 11/07/2011 13:32

I had similar with ds1 at about 9 months - I kept on offering for about two months but he just wasn't interested and by 12 months I stopped bothering and he never once asked. I was devastated - I'd been intending to keep feeding for two years, but it didn't happen.

WhipMeIndiana · 11/07/2011 13:33

and I purely breast fed. he never had a bottle or dummy. don't think it's that rare or unusual. he was weaned onto food as usual about 5 mths I think

hairfullofsnakes · 11/07/2011 13:34

Of course it is not unheard of. If she has a bottle of formula too it makes it easier for her to stop probably too? I don't know but it could be a factor.

My 21 month old is still mad for breast milk though so I don't know! Good on you for feeding your dd though! If she is happy to stop that is fine though! You have done a brilliant job giving her so much lovely breast milk! :)

Original poster
Olivetti · 11/07/2011 13:36

Thanks very much everyone. She seriously doesn't seem to want it, so I think I'll have to give up, because I am finding it upsetting. I think I am doing it more for me than for her now, which is not good. I had hoped to get to a year, but I guess 8 months is good.

OP posts:
Bumpsadaisie · 11/07/2011 13:37

Mine started losing interest at about 7 months - was quite happy to have bottles and solids. Once we'd given up she never rooted around for it - it was as if we had never done bf-ing!

GetOffOfMyCloud · 11/07/2011 13:41

Olivetti, please don't put yourself down by saying "I guess 8 months is good". Eight months is fantastic!! So many Mums can't manage anywhere near as long for whatever reason, be that lack of support from medical staff or for medical reasons so to do 8 months is great. You have given your DD a fantastic start and although it wasn't for as long as you would have hoped, it is still a fantastic achievement and you must remember that. Well done!!

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 11/07/2011 13:46

exactly, 8 months is brilliant!

Chestnutx3 · 11/07/2011 14:02

I BF my DD until she was nearly 2 (had to force wean her as she showed no lack of interest and my morning sickness was awful).

My DS self weaned at 8.5months - a gradual process, never had bottles, dummies etc... He self weaned and there was nothing I could do about it, he ate solids. I was just told to ensure he had lots of milky foods.

So it is unusual it I did the same for both my kids and one self weaned early and the other wouldn't self wean at all. Its nothing you have done its the child.

bubblesincoffee · 11/07/2011 14:02

8 months is brilliant!

My ds stopped being interested in the boob at 9 months, it was definately time for him to give it up. I preferred it that way because he was walking soon after, and he was well into his solids and drinking from a cup, so it was fine.

mistressploppy · 11/07/2011 14:06

From your last post - I think you're right; time to stop. I know what it's like to have a reluctant breastfeeder. It's silly, but the rejection really hurts!! So for your own sake....

8 months is still brilliant, and waaay above average, btw. Well done.

InfestationofLannisters · 11/07/2011 14:07

Wish mine would. He is four and autistic obsessed He does sometimes parrot, "IoL's DS is not a baby" while latching on and to be fair he only asks when it is my turn to sleep with him.

Eight months is bloody fantastic Smile

IgnoringTheChildren · 11/07/2011 14:09

I'm starting to wonder if this will be the case with DS2 (7 months) as he's showing a definite preference for solids (BLW) and drinking out of a beaker. The only feeds I can guarantee at the moment are before bed (although he's not that fussed about that one either!), at night (if he wakes, doesn't always) and first thing in the morning (although not if he's fed at night!) I sometimes get to feed him during the day if he's just woken from a nap and is still sleepy but never for very long.

I'm expressing during the day to try to keep my supply up in case it is just a nursing strike but like your DD it's been a gradual process since he started eating at 5.5 months (and he does eat a lot!) DS1 was similar but didn't start to lose interest until around 10 months and had his last feed at 13 months.

Congrats on feeding you DD for this long!

WoTmania · 11/07/2011 14:09

I was going to say highly unlikely - but then I read the bottle of formula in the evening which changes my opinion.
Introducing a bottle is a method of weaning a child from the breast so you are engaging in weaning behaviours rather than your DD self-weaning.

girlfromdownsouth · 11/07/2011 14:10

My daughter self-weaned at 8 months. Literally one day she fed and the next day she did not want to know. I tried offering the breast to her for a couple more weeks but she was absolutely adamant in refusing. She was taking liquids from a sippy cup (follow on milk or something I think - she's 8.5yo now!) I found it hurtful at the time and the rejection difficult to handle at the time. Well done for getting this far.

WoTmania · 11/07/2011 14:13

girlfromdownsouth - that's sounds like a classic nursing strike. They are really difficult to handle and it can take a lot of time and effort to get babies to re-accept the breast.

Bramshott · 11/07/2011 14:16

DD1 stopped at 10 months and DD2 at 11 months. I'm sure I could persisted in carrying on (with some effort) if that's what I'd wanted, but TBH, it felt like the natural time to stop in both cases. Still sad though - I cried when I realised I had fed DD2 for the last time Sad.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 11/07/2011 14:54

Mine self weaned at 10 months. Although she did have the odd bottle of formula so I suppose I was engaging in weaning behaviours.

I'm always a bit puzzled when I hear about people going to great lengths to keep their child breastfeeding when they've gone off it. I know it still has health/emotional benefits, but are they really so significant at that age? I didn't feel they were, anyway. I would have been beside myself if I hadn't been able to breastfeed when she was tiny, but at 10 months? I wasn't that bothered.

paddypoopants · 11/07/2011 15:04

DS gave up all interest at about 9 months. I eventually stopped at 10 months because he would just start to lark about whenever I was feeding him.Wee devil. He didn't care one bit when I stopped- he never even tried once to forage down my front. I was a little disappinted he didn't even try.