To think an 8 month old can self-wean from breast?

[Olivetti]

My DD is not interested in BFing now. It's been a gradual process, so not a nursing strike. She just doesn't want it at all. Takes lots of solids, and has a bottle of formula at night. Most people I've observed on here seem to think it's unheard of for a baby to refuse breast before 12 months, but deep down I feel she has outgrown it .

Mine did exactly that paddy - just less and less interested for a month or so, and not a bit bothered when I stopped. I don't think she even remembers now.

I stopped bf at 9 months because my dd no longer seemed interested in it. Was not really attending to the job in hand, always distracted and didnt seem to get much from milk from me. It got embarrassing as she exposed me a lot (we had previously been great at discreet feeding). I too thought it a shame as had been hoping to continue until she was one. Im convinced now though that it was just the right time to stop. Shes 22 months now and doing great.
Good Luck

It depends what you mean by self-wean. Children who get bottles and lots of solids can and do definitely lose interest at that age or younger. Those things, along with 'don't offer, don't refuse', are considered weaning techniques so technically, if you wanted to be pedantic about it, that's why it's not considered 'self-weaning' by some - but does it matter to you? If you're ready to stop then that's great. Congratulations on breastfeeding for 8 months :)

Self-weaning in an completely breastfed baby (i.e exclusively for around 6 months and then proactively offered throughout babyhood/toddlerhood) seldom happens before 18 months to 2 years.

WoTmania - she's had a night bottle since 4.5 months, though, and it made no difference to bfing - I was still feeding her about 5 times a day until about 7 months. The change has come since she got established on solids with proteins included. She has 3 meals a day and is uninterested in milk generally.

even the one bottle can have an effect apparently.

Fruit Salad - 'I'm always a bit puzzled when I hear about people going to great lengths to keep their child breastfeeding when they've gone off it.'

Usually it's becuase they are under 1 and still need breastmilk/BM substitute as the main part of their diet. Cow's milk isn't really a normal thing for our bodies and many mothers who continue BF do it because they would rather their child had human milk.

This happened to me, but I ignored it thinking I wanted to get to a year of breastfeeding, which I had set as my goal. My daughter lost interest once on solids which she loved and my poor breasts were just ignored, played with, bitten, refused etc from eight months onwards. I kept going for two and half months afterwards, but it wasn't a nursing strike, she just preferred solid food and the odd drink.

After 6 months, my daughter had cow's milk, indeed a normal varied diet anyway. Unless you are excluding dairy before 1, which I didn't, it wasn't an issue. I was just sad as I had imagined many more months of nuzzling and feeding and it just didn't happen. She never asked again either once she stopped.

Not all babies are the same, some love their milk for a long time, some just don't, not all babies are milk fiends or feel deprived when you stop breastfeeding.

If either of you have had enough then dont feel guilty about stopping. I spent miserable months trying to express at work/ keep feeding when DS2 wasnt up for it at this age. I gave up eventually but felt soooooo much guilt afterwards. especially as I fed DS1 until he was 18 months old. With hindsight I should have just chilled out a bit :)

A miserable guilty stressed out mum is not good for anyone. If either of you want to more on from breastfeeding it is not a sign of failure as a mother.

buy some formula and have a cuddle instead

Nursing strikes can go on for some time due to teething etc. If you are giving a bottle she will be more inclined to refuse bm. It would be very unusual for a baby to give up milk before a year - 8 months is v young. They do tend to reduce milk feeds when they start weaning onto solids but if you weren't giving the bottle she would still be taking bm. If you want to keep bf then you would probably need to start replacing the bottle by offering bm again. If you think she just wants to stick to bottle but you would like her to still have bm maybe you could express for that one feed? Plenty of options- up to you what to choose! :)

My DS self-weaned at 8 months too. I was a bit upset, but we (he) had reduced breastfeeds as he ate more solids, and then just didnt want the boob anymore. I expressed what i had left and combined this with formula until 1 year.

My DS1 self weaned at 8 months. He only ever had one bottle at 4 months, other than that was ebf. But he loved food once he started eating so I think that contributed to him no longer needing to bf (gutting though this was, I'd really struggled in the early days!)

My sister is a bf counsellor and she asked for advice from her supervisor who said that I'd obviously done a great job of bf as DS1 had felt he could wean himself. That made me feel better. He is now a healthy happy full of trouble 4 year old!

Congratulations on getting to 8 months, it's a real achievement. If you don't want to stop bfing there are ways to carry on (it wouldn't be odd if you didn't want to stop either).

8m is really still very much a baby, babies generally can't walk or even crawl at 8m. Therefore self weaning before self sufficiency (walking/running/able to follow instructions or mimic adult behaviour when finding food) is a fairly dangerous behavior, naturally speaking, as if you aren't being carried and nursed by mum how do you keep up with your family or feed yourself?

What is the impetus for a mum to carry her baby if baby wasn't nursing frequently (nursing sends feelgood hormones around mum and baby's body [humans are the only species to know what nursing is for - other species do it because it feels nice and instinct tells them to]) as carrying a baby is hard work, why do it if unnecessary?

Obviously, I am speaking about pre-civilisation humans but in evolutionary terms that is just a very short time ago, we haven't changed biologically or physiologically speaking since we built houses, shops, cars and hospitals - we are still the same species of animal.

Anyhoo, [[http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2011/07/risk-factors-for-early-weaning-from.html this] is quite interesting on the phenomenon of premature weaning.

bumblemummy - as a mother who never gave her children bottles and one of them did wean just over 8 months, the other carried on until she was 2, I did know the difference between a nursing strike and self weaning. I didn't think it was possible until it happened to me.

The only advice I got from LLL was to no give my DS any solids at all and then maybe that would work! After having a DD who hated solids until she was nearly 3 I wasn't going to give that a go.

Once my DS self weaned he refused formula so I just gave him lots of milky foods as advised by a consultant.

I stand to be corrected, but I really don't think the bottle is the issue. We introduced a bottle for the late feed at 4.5 months, which DH gives her, so I could go to bed early. She happily took at and breastfed 4-5 times in the day up to 7 months. As I say, it's since she started having meals, she is just uninterested in milk. I've never had any luck with expressing, so I've been adding formula to her porridge and other meals, and still offering the breast, but she's not interested. I think I'll just need to increase the amount of milky food she gets, and hydrate her with water.

8 months is really good, OP - with hot weather to come (we hope) it's good to be aware of hydration issues, but your DC does sound ready to give up. It's unusual for it to happen so early, but all babies are different.

I had to deal with a nursing strike at 8 months, but that was not at all the same thing - DD bit me hard, I told her off and that was it for 5 days - I was devastated. I kept at it, catching her when she was sleepy, and she went back on it (th only good thing to happen on 9/11 as a matter of fact). But she hadn't been tapering off and was a boob monster.

From what I remember, when mine were about 8 months they were having 4-5 feeds a day and a lot of solid food too, which of course was far more fun than BF (let's face it, you can't mash milk intgo your hair the way you can potatoes) so I do think it's a time when they're 'sensitive' to giving up.

I went on to do 13 months with both, eased them off it gradually - still wish I'd known then what I know now and let them self-wean, but they had a damned good start in life.

My DD wasn't interested after 11mths, but she was on formula in the day after I went back to work at 6mths.

Self weaning as in giving up all milk before 12 months is unlikely as babies still need milk at that age.

Giving up breastfeeding in preference for bottles does seem fairly common though.

I had never heard of a nursing strike before this thread. Do the babies hold placards and stand round fires in bins singing socialist anthems?
"what do want?"
"no boobies!"
"when do we want them?"
"never!"

One of my DD's stopped completely at 10 months. The last month was really me refusing to take the hint! Tried everything. I was a little disappointed that we hadn't made it to at least the year.

This thread is quite funny, though, lots of people telling us it's very unusual, or due to some weird factor like solids (yes, many babies do eat solids around this time) or it's a nursing strike, or that in the wild it would be very dangerous for babies to quit breastfeeding (true, but babies are dependent on care-givers to provide food til they are about 3/4 and beyond, so this is not just true for breastmilk!)

Why is it inconcievable that a baby, who by 8-10-12 months is not a passive little blob, has sat up, stuffed loads of food in her mouth herself (mine did from very early) and decided that they'd like to drink like everyone else and not continue breastfeeding?! Mine didn't even want a beaker aged 10 1/2 months, which was thrown across the room, it was a cup like other people's cups, or nothing, not breasts, that's for sure.

Baby-led means that, the baby leads, and sometimes you don't like where they go, and it upsets your ideal of motherhood which is all about bonding through extended breastfeeding.

I don't disagree that many babies come to prefer milk from bottles and cups at that age (or younger - several of my friends had babies who rejected the breast for bottles at 4-5 months) but self-weaning to me suggests weaning from milk entirely, which seems unlikely in a baby who still needs milk.

Do you feel it matters whether other people define it as "self-weaning" or just "weaning"? As long as it is what you are happy with.

I think if self-weaning at a later age is hugely important to a mother, then she perhaps might need to choose the route of - fed on demand into toddlerhood, including night feeding and probably co-sleeping, with very slow introduction of solids and no bottles. This is what is generally referred to as self-weaning because it involves no mother-led weaning techniques at all. This is a path that not many mothers can choose or even want to choose though, at least in the UK! Not surprising really.

I keep wondering about whether I should night-wean my toddler but I really would like for nature to run its course, so I'm resisting it for now. But I think I'm probably crunchier than most!

It doesn't matter as long as you both are happy. You have done tremendously well.

VLC, that's my point, my first didn't want to slowly have solids, she was grabbing them off our plates and stuffing them in her mouth!!! How can you slowly introduce solids to a 9 month old, they are sitting up, sitting on laps, eating normal food, sucking stuff, she just loved solid food and wasn't aware that she 'needed milk'. Perhaps I could have hidden her in another room when we were eating!

The thing is cups are a completely artificial construct so it's a bit like a toddler deciding they aren't going to walk they will use a skateboard to get around. The natural physiological norm is to walk and to bf, the artificial construct is the skateboard and the cup. What happens when we deviate from the physiological norm is still being researched but they do know some of the effects at the moment.

Cups are handy though, I will admit but they are a human made version of the cupped hand which requires dexterity and co-ordination to scoop up water and drink from, skills most babies of 8-12m lack. A cup or spouted beaker is a doodle in comparison to a cupped hand to use for a baby.

Even though a baby of 8-12m is not a passive little blob, they are still very dependent on their family to provide everything for them, it's not as though they are ready to leave home so why shouldn't bfing continue until they are ready to 'forage' for themselves (in my house that equals working out how to open the cupboard locks ). It's not just about food, it's comfort, pain relief, immune system support and a way of ensuring normal oral development.

Just curios Allinabag, was you first night-weaned at this point? Just wondering as my lot took a lot of their milk at night-times (DD still does).
The other thing a lot of people do (not saying anyone on this thread has!) is to offer food before milk so they are full up, or, without realising they try to stretch out the times between feeds by distracting or offering something else first.