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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have had three fags today...

59 replies

NoobyNoob · 09/07/2011 16:26

....at almost 12 weeks pregnant.

I know I'm, being very, very, very unreasonable - I thought it was supposed to be easy to stop when you're expecting? I had no problem doing it the first time round, so why can't I do it now?

I stopped as soon as I found out, however I'm not sure what's happened today.

OP posts:
iwasyoungonce · 09/07/2011 16:29

Tomorrow's another day. Pick yourself back up, and quit again.

BoojaBooja · 09/07/2011 16:30

YABU. It's child abuse. Sorry to be blunt, but you did ask...

Ishani · 09/07/2011 16:30

You are probbaly quite stressed with the first child IME. I have to say I did stop the moment I found out and was lucky enough to have stopped before I got pregnant the last time around but I don't believe the craving ever goes away ever. It's tough :(

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/07/2011 16:31

Throw them out, OP, break them up first and put washing up liquid on them - or air freshener. If you don't have ready access to them you'll have to really make a conscious effort to go out and buy some and hopefully that will stop you in your tracks.

AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 16:35

Bollocks is it child abuse.

Totally agree with iwasyoung, dust yourseld down and start anew tomorrow.

Are you stressed about anything in particular today?

Original poster
NoobyNoob · 09/07/2011 16:36

This isn't like me at all, I get a little judgey when I see women with bump and fag - and then here I am puffing away in my back garden.

Pathetic.

Anyway, have just done what you have suggested Lying

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 16:36

Oh, and congratulations Smile

First bit was the hardest for me, just sooooo tired.

unpa1dcar3r · 09/07/2011 16:37

There's so much more pressure on a pregnant woman to stop and sometimes that pressure can make it harder to quit.
You've only had 3, don't worry, probably ingested more fumes walking along the road from all the buses, lorries etc.
Try reading Alan Carrs, 'Easy way for women to stop smoking'; he actually does a section of pregnant women and smoking. Might make sense.

Original poster
NoobyNoob · 09/07/2011 16:38

Nothing really Agent I went to the shop for a few bits, and found myself getting a packet of 10 and I really have no idea why.

DH is disgusted.

OP posts:
LolaRennt · 09/07/2011 16:47

Of course yabu. But at least you are trying. Get in touch with your midwife and see if she can get you some help. Good luck and congrats

AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 16:50

Much as some people would like them to be, pregnant women aren't robots who can switch stuff on and off at will.

Just try and box up how you feel at the min and bring it out when your resolve is poking you in the eye.

BoojaBooja · 09/07/2011 16:57

Cue polish halo comments, yeah, yeah, yeah, but bollocks to a bit of stress = have a fag. I was smoker until I found out I was pregnant. I found it very tough at times, but there's no way I would have smoked when pregnant. You'll be more stressed and worried after having a fag than you would if you just didn't have one. I know I sound harsh, but to me it's ridiculous to put your own selfish wants before a growing baby. Surely the baby's health is the most important thing to you right now? I know it's tough (several years later I still fancy a ciggie when I get stressed) but the good health of your baby will be your reward! It's only a bloody cigarette, it isn't worth it!

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 09/07/2011 16:59

It's not great but neither is it the worst thing in the world. Remember that a couple of generations ago the majority of people smoked, and those who didn't smoke inhaled plenty of everyone else's fags. There was not an epidemic of seriously damaged babies; the human race is still here.
So try not to do it again, but try not to stress too much either.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/07/2011 17:00

I was just going to suggest the book that Unpa has mentioned. It's really good, Nooby, I quit smoking with that, so did my Mum. Good luck!

sunshineandbooks · 09/07/2011 17:02

Nooby the grand total of three cigarettes in the whole of your pregnancy are not going to do any harm. See if you can get hold of the Allen Carr book and read it. Hopefully it will make the rest of your pregnancy feel a lot easier. I used it to stop smoking when I began TTC, and that was 5 years ago now. Good luck. Smile

AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 17:03

How you must wish everyone could do such a good job as you think you're doing BB.

It's not even what you're saying, it's the pompous way you've gone about saying it.

How is stressing the OP out more than she is at the min going to stop her wanting a fag and be able to cope with her cravings tomorrow?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/07/2011 17:03

Booja... We all know that but just remember that you did smoke when you were pregnant, you stopped when you found out. By your reasoning then, a non-smoker trumps your halo-polishing as does a smoker who quit before TTC. Everybody knows that smoking is bad, there's no news there.

inatrance · 09/07/2011 17:06

Child abuse?? FFS! Hmm

AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 17:09

Social services would have their work cut out with it being child abuse.

It devalues the real, painful and distressing things that are actually happening to children as we post.

BoojaBooja · 09/07/2011 17:10

Of course someone who quits before TTC trumps my situation. I wasn't TTC and found out a couple of weeks in. I wish SO much that it had been planned so that I hadn't smoked at all. In fact I wish I'd never started smoking in the first place!

Pussy-footing around the subject isn't going to make anyone quit either. As LyingWitch said "Everybody knows that smoking is bad" so don't inflict it on your baby.

We can all say, "It's ok, there's no harm". It's harmful to unborn babies, so don't do it. It's something that's easily avoidable.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/07/2011 17:14

Well then, Booja... You knew that smoking was bad yet you still smoked. What if those cigarettes in between your conception and you finding out has made all the difference to your child's health sometime in the future? How would that feel to you? Not great, I'll wager. Will you appreciate somebody on a chatboard pulling you up on that then, hmm? Hmm

Nobody's saying that there's no harm in smoking, OP isn't saying that. I don't see the need to bash her over the head with her mistake, she doesn't need the stress, she needs support.

BoojaBooja · 09/07/2011 17:18

Someone would be right to pull me up about it on a chatboard, as you are doing now.

She needs to quit, she doesn't need a load of "It's alright" crap. If it's alright, it could happen again and again.

AgentZigzag · 09/07/2011 17:19

'she doesn't need a load of "It's alright" crap'

Yes she does.

cjbartlett · 09/07/2011 17:21

If she didn't want chastising she wouldn't have posted
If you all say there there dear never mind dont you think it's more likely she will spark up tomorrow?

BoojaBooja · 09/07/2011 17:22

I agree, cjbartlett.