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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD is overweight. advice pleaae

66 replies

Ismeyes · 09/07/2011 09:48

DD (5) is overweight. I know this is no ones fault except mine and DH's so am prepared for any negative comments. I want to do something about it but I just don't know where to start. I don't think it is what she is eating, but portion size and amount. I just don't know what is the right amount, I'm clueless. She loves food, enjoys it and is not fussy in the slightest.

I'm planning on trying to increase her activity levels and limit tv.

I dont want to go overboard and make her feel something is wrong with her. I'm lost really. Would like to hear from anyone who has been through this or would like to give me some blunt advice.

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/07/2011 09:51

DD had a friend who was really overweight. Her mum got advice from the school nurse and generally reduced portion size. Mum had been giving her cream crackers and cheese after school. Each CC has about 50 calories in it. She had also been drinking around a litre of full fat milk.
The DD had lots of pasta and fish. She drank more water and increased excercise. Although the girl didn't lose weight, she grew into her height if that makes sense.

Original poster
Ismeyes · 09/07/2011 09:52

This was meant to go in chat, sorry. Already know IABU, or at least have been. Not a stealth get the traffic post either, just not used Mumsnet mobile before.

OP posts:
winnybella · 09/07/2011 09:53

Tell us what she eats in a typical day.

You don't want to put her on a diet, rather you want her to grow into her weight iyswim.

I would say a typical portion for a 5yo would be a smallish plate, less than an adult. No crisps, sweets etc. Not lots of fruit as full of sugar- one or two a day is sufficient. Lots of veg and lean protein. No squash/fruit juice- or just a glass a day.

squeakytoy · 09/07/2011 09:53

What would you describe as her typical daily diet and exercise?

Orchidskeepdying · 09/07/2011 09:55

You can buy portion plates for cildren - get one each for the whole family.

www.amazon.co.uk/Diet-Plate-Child-Healthy-Eating/dp/B000H1NL6W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=beauty&qid=1310201693&sr=8-1

Original poster
Ismeyes · 09/07/2011 09:56

Thanks kreecher, fish is good idea as she likes fish so could up that. Did the girl notice the changes do you know?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 09/07/2011 09:56

I would aim to change things as a family rather than just for her. All try to be more active together, stop buying "baddies" except as an occasional thing and reduce portion sizes but not so much she feels hungry all the time. Lots of fruit and veg to.

scarlettsmummy2 · 09/07/2011 09:58

I had to put my twelve year old foster son on a diet and he has now lost three stone. We just went for really healthy eating but made it fun by letting him help with meal planning etc and being really strict about treats. I also always plate his food for him. We do lots of baked potatoes, pastas with tomato based sauces, and cereal with semi skimmed for snacks if he is hungry. This way he doesn't eat for the sake of it but only if he is actually hungry.

cankles · 09/07/2011 09:58

There may also be a dietician attached to your GP surgery who can advise on healthy diet/exercise for your family.

magicmummy1 · 09/07/2011 09:59

I have no idea really as my dd is a natural skinny mini and doesn't have a big appetite at all. But if your dd isn't eating lots of junk, I'd be reluctant to limit what she eats and would try to focus more on active play and exercise. Take her to the park, play frisbee, kick a ball around or put some music on and dance. If you do stuff as a family, she'll just think it's fun. You really don't want to give her a complex about it at this age. Could she join a sports club of some sort? Dancing? Any good summer activity clubs near you?

Do have a look at what she eats to be sure that you're not kidding yourself as to whether it's healthy or not, and encourage her to fill up on fruit and veg where you can. Look at how you cook stuff, too, and focus on the whole family getting healthy. Please don't mention weight to your dd!

But don't beat yourself up about how things are - some children are just born with the ability to eat for England whereas others have to be coaxed to eat every mouthful! You are doing the right thing by trying to tackle this now.

Good luck! And make it fun!

Original poster
Ismeyes · 09/07/2011 10:03

Breakfast- porridge or cereal with semi milk and a banana

Snack- cereal bar or fruit flakes

Mid morning school fruit portion

Packed lunch- 1 slice wholegrain ham or chicken sandwich, fruit, veg portion, yogurt or rice pudding water, sometimes a smoothie

Afternoon school fruit

Nothing after school until tea

Tea- whatever we have on a small plate I.e shepherds pie or roast

However, we eat out lots at weekend and she gets the odd cake or sweets. Drinks water mostly.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 09/07/2011 10:03

Hello. So your 5 yr old is overweight? Have you established why this is? Are you overfeeding? A family with big portions? Do you eat the unhealthy foods too often? Lack of activity exercise? Are you a family who are large?

Have you got a friendly Dr whom you can go to chat with? I'd have a chat with them. They might put you onto the surgery nurse who can help you monitor how things are going. Sounds like you need a plan of action to change your daily lifestyle. It's hard at first but once into the swing of it you'll all benefit. You need to make it fun. Subtle changes and she'll not see it as a punishment.

Have you got local parks to let off steam after school? Can you do weekend river canal walks? Get to woodland etc? Can you walk to school and back? Any fun after school clubs like cheerleading, dance, gym etc?

Don't get bogged down with the negativity. Don't feel ashamed. You are doing something about it. Be positive and imaginative.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/07/2011 10:04

She did notice the changes, but she was 8. Initially she moaned about being hungry but she wasn't hungry, just used to grazing constantly.

squeakytoy · 09/07/2011 10:07

and what exercise does she do?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/07/2011 10:07

Have you been told she's overweight by someone? Looked up her height/weight on a chart like this one? Or is it just that she looks a little plump? The diet you describe

HelloKlitty · 09/07/2011 10:08

Have you seen the doctor? Noboody here can realy help you...it's such a deicate thing...getting a childs diet right. A doctor can assess her and advise yoou properly....her diet certainly doesn't seem awful at all!

It's not unlike my own 7 year old's in what she actually eats. Are you serving her evening meal in a child size portion? And what time? A meat portion should be the size of the eaters palm....

CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/07/2011 10:09

(whoops) .. looks OK for an active five year-old in principle as long as the portion-sizes are appropriate. The starch on a plate e.g. potato, rice, pasta, should be about the size of the person's clenched fist. When you say you eat out a lot, you might want to cut that down. Restaurant/cafe/takeaway food is usually very energy-dense and the portions are often far bigger than you'd prepare at home.

TimeWasting · 09/07/2011 10:27

That doesn't look like a huge amount at all. Perhaps not enough is she's active in fact.

Ask for referal to a dietician.

If she's not eating enough on a normal basis and then eats a lot at the weekends, that is a recipe for putting on weight even if the overall amount of calories is otherwise appropriate.

Original poster
Ismeyes · 09/07/2011 10:40

She is 114cm and 25kg. 5 years 0 months old. She does swimming 1-2 times a week, park often, usual school activity, walk short distance to and from school and martial arts once a week. We are not a large family, but we do like food and I in particular have to be careful. In honesty I think she does eat more ay weekends.

Thank you for all responses so far. I feel very motivated to change things.

OP posts:
BurningBridges · 09/07/2011 10:42

My DD2 has a really good paediatric dietician, I can't praise her enough. I've learned a lot from her, and I thought I knew it all!

Have you got her red book with all the weights in etc? I started using mine to plot both DDs weight post 5 using the machines at Boots where you get the paper print out. DD2 was born on 75th centile, so was a bigger baby anyway, but had shot up to 98th - when you plot it out like that you can see there might be a problem. I thought I was very knowledgeable about nutrition and growth rates, but I couldn't have done it without the dietician. She also talked a lot to DD2 about it not being a problem, and about increasing activity - they do need a lot more exercise than you might think. Quite a few posters have mentioned establishing what is normal for your DD and I think that's key - you might not be able to do that accurately without help.

But hats off to you for tackling it now, let's cheer the OP on for recognising it and starting to plan what to do. [hsmile]

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 09/07/2011 10:43

How much does she weigh ? You haven't had one of those damn letters of the school I hope ? What you say she's eating sounds fine, maybe try swapping potato for sweet potato tho as it's much more filling and less starchy, baked into wedges it's yummy n all

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/07/2011 10:44

Shock that's heavier than my 10YO, but TBH she doesn't eat very much at all.
I would speak to your GP, she doesn't sound as if she eats too much to me.

BurningBridges · 09/07/2011 10:44

PS didn't make that clear, dietician talks to DD about "it not being a problem" in that she says DD is doing really well and that she mustn't worry about food, ifyswim.

worraliberty · 09/07/2011 11:00

Am I right in thinking that's nearly 4st?

What she eats looks ok...though I'd cut out the banana at breakfast.

Perhaps you're right and the problem lies with the weekend eating?

Is there a way you can note down everything she eats and drinks on a weekend without her noticing?

You might be surprised how much it amounts to.