DD is overweight. advice pleaae

[Ismeyes]

DD (5) is overweight. I know this is no ones fault except mine and DH's so am prepared for any negative comments. I want to do something about it but I just don't know where to start. I don't think it is what she is eating, but portion size and amount. I just don't know what is the right amount, I'm clueless. She loves food, enjoys it and is not fussy in the slightest.

I'm planning on trying to increase her activity levels and limit tv.

I dont want to go overboard and make her feel something is wrong with her. I'm lost really. Would like to hear from anyone who has been through this or would like to give me some blunt advice.

[magicmummy1]

Oops, sorry - pressed post too soon!

[magicmummy1]

You're not an awful parent at all - you're a kind, thoughtful, caring parent who is doing her very best to handle this in the best possible way. I don't think your dd's diet sounds exceptional, and perhaps she is just unlucky to have the type of metabolism that she does. But she is only five and there is plenty of time to set things on a different track. She is lucky to have a lovely mum like you, and she will thank you in the future for sorting this out.

[magicmummy1]

You're not an awful parent at all - you're a kind, thoughtful, caring parent who is doing her very best to handle this in the best possible way. I don't think your dd's diet sounds exceptional, and perhaps she is just unlucky to have the type of metabolism that she does. But she is only five and there is plenty of time to set things on a different track.

[Ismeyes]

I try very hard not to keep junk food in the house, I think the treats creep in when we are out and about. Its not sweets, she gets those once a week on a Friday. Its more cakes, biscuits and ice creams that sneak in when we are out and I need to be firmer about this. She gets invited to parties most weekends too. Its so hard to add up, but taking this last week as an example,since Sunday she has had an ice cream at the beach, 2 fairy cakes and a lollipop at the school fete, a fairy cake after school on Thursday and a mini chocolate bar that came home from school for someone's birthday and a birthday party today. So that is alot isn't?

I'm just looking into a trampoline as that is her dream and I haven't been sure we can fit one in the garden because of the lawn, but obviously this is more important than a patch of grass.

I appreciate all the advice everyone has given on here, and both myself and DH have read the thread. Everyone has been so firm and honest, yet kind, and I'm touched by that. I had steeled myself for being called an awful parent.

[Waswildatheart]

Take a look at Change 4 life, the previous governments campaign to get families healthy and active. Brilliant simple tips and resources that appeal to children. Your school nurse should have lots of advice and signpost you to support if you want something more. In our area they run MEND programmes for parents as well as the child.

I like the idea of focusing on reducing overeating rather than on losing weight.

[cilantro]

How many treats do you think she has in a normal week above the daily diet you posted? Do you keep junk food in the house? I know if I kept stuff in my kids would devour it all or constantly be in the cupboards looking for it so we only buy 1 treat thing at a time rather than stocking up if that makes sense.

[Chestnutx3]

I would increase the size and nutritional content of her after school snack, maybe she is so starving when its tea time she overeats.

Room for a trampoline in the garden? Many schools have very little PE time, I would not rely on school for a little exercise.

Serving food on a smaller plate (sounds like for you it would be a good idea too!)

They should eat twice the size of THEIR fists at main meals. A 5 year old doesn't tend to need snacks but IMO does need on after school if they have had an early lunch and going to do some exercise after school.

[Lipstickgal]

Hello, it's very tricky. Children can go through phases where they put on weight and then there is a growth spurt. My eldest child became overweight due to her epilepsy meds so I have a bit of experience.
Firstly up the protein esp at breakfast. Always use multi-grain/wholemeal. That's for bread, rice and pasta. Porridge can be helpful in stabilising blood sugar levels (using the already measured sachets is helpful)but alternate the breakfast with other things such as beans/eggs on toast or a bacon and tomato small toasted sandwich. Cut back on fruit and cereal bars and offer carrot sticks and chopped peppers with hummous.
She may well have a problem dealing with sugars in the diet. This diet has a lot of sugar in it ( through the fruit, cereals, cereal bars etc) and although your daughter isn't eating much , what she is eating might not suit her body chemistry.
For lunch pack - sandwiches with lean protein and salad or a salad with fish etc.Drinking lots of water is important too. Dinner you can jig around with and base it heavily on pasta sauces that you blend lots of veg into and then a small serving of hard strong flavoured cheese to top.Pesto is handy too as you can make up a big salad with spinach,toms etc and then add protein and a wholemeal pasta tossed in the sauce. Fish or chicken with a handful of new pots with the skins left on and then 2-3 servings of veg to bulk it out would be another good idea. Any leftovers of the pesto pasta salad can be used for lunch the next day. It is filling too and they don't recognise the reduction in carbs because you can make it really colourful. Lots of the yoghurts aimed at children are jam packed full of sugar and although it may only be 100 cals a pop, if it is mainly sugar the body can find this very difficult to deal with, whereas something which is 100 cals mainly fat- a different response.
Portion size definately needs to be taken into account but may I suggest upping the size of vegetables on the plate whilst decreasing carb portion. She won't notice because it will look as large but may have the desired effect. Hope that helps. A lot of Mum's have been through this and have had to make subtle changes because we are all learning as we go along based on our children's very individual needs.
Treats can be made into once a week event whereby she gets to choose one. That may be a sum of money for sweets or a special ice cream/ cake. It is important they learn that sweets etc are not a norm in an everyday diet but an unnecessary part and so a 'treat'.

[Willowisp]

just wanted to say that it's fantastic that you've recognise your DD is a bit chubby & that you're doing something about it.

I was a chubby child & hated it...my mum also thought having a bit of weight was good..which obviously it isn't.

Won't add anything about the eating,other than don't have any sweets/crisps (we rarely have them) maybe have a pudding on a weekend night, but just one small portion (!) & get out walking. Walk to buy the paper, join the National Trust & walk round their grounds at the weekend.

[TheGrimSweeper]

Generally speaking, as long as children are eating healthy preferably home cooked meals - absolutely fine. No need to drop healthy bits like fruit. Indeed sounds like your dd has a good diet - I might drop the cereal bar and replace with something else but FGS, don't calorie count! Children need to be outside being active!

My dd is 7, eats probably double what you've put down as I give her 4 meals a day....she's also skinny skinny skinny, but that's because she does on average 2 hours of sport a day.

Just try and get her active especially weekends!

[Ismeyes]

Thank you for the further replies. I will make a GP appointment to get some more advice, but a number of posters have said it sounds like activity levels and the more I think about it, the more inactive I realise we are as a family. I think this is where I have been blind. I have spoken to DH and we are going to make an effort to do more activity because we owe it to DD.

[Teapot13]

A lot of posters have commented that your DD doesn't eat much. (I don't have a good sense of this because I don't know a child that age.) I agree that you should consult your GP about making healthy changes but you might want to ask about haveing her thyroid checked. If her metabolism is extremely low, that could be a reason.

[squeakytoy]

I would suggest using the MyFitnessPal website or phone app and monitor exactly what your daughter consumes daily for a month or so, (it is an excellent tool to show how many calories are consumed as well as the nutrional value), but you have to be thorough, right down to the last biscuit or it is pointless doing it.

It is very surprising how quickly the calories add up. You can also add all the exercise to it as well.

I have used this for the last 3 months since I decided to kickstart my healthier lifestyle and it has helped me to lose 2 stone, simply keeping an eye on exactly how many calories I am scoffing. Your daughter doesnt even need to know you are doing it. At the age of 5, no child should even be thinking about diets or even healthy eating, they should just be eating whatever their parent has put in front of them.

[wfrances]

my dd nearly doubled her weight in a short space of time when she was 1,gp wanted to know what she was having and when, i had to carefully check weight/calories of all intake / turned out after tests as she still was piling on the pounds she had an intolerance to milk .

[wfrances]

good god,you dont mention calorie counting in front of a child ,thats not what i meant but any dietician is going to want to know what her calorie intake is and mum is expected to know this ,
if mum works out her daughter is approx having the recomm, intake but is still putting on weight then thats a clear sign there might be something wrong.

[squeakytoy]

As a child I would eat porridge or cereal for breakfast, whatever was dished up at school dinner. A few sweets or a tomato after school, and dinner with a pudding at night. Glass of milk or warm drink before bed. Weekends would be the same only with a sandwich or a pie at lunchtime. There was no rationing on sugar, or salt. I did eat chocolate, but not much, and I did have full sugar fizzy drinks too, again, maybe one glass a day, the rest of the time I would have squash. I did eat chocolate, but not much.

I also went swimming 3 or 4 times a week and was out on my bike the moment I got home from school.

However we never went out for meals, and my mums portions were fairly small. There was also no snacking between meals.. ever. I also rarely eat fruit, as I just didnt like it, and still dont apart from an occasional taste, as I dont have a very sweet tooth.

I was average height and nowhere near as heavy as most of my friends. But I was also very healthy and rarely had so much as a cold.

I am now 42, still got all my own teeth despite all the sugar ;), perfect blood pressure, no cholesterol problems and apart from putting on weight (and losing it again thankfully) due to a sedentary lifestyle over the last few years I am doing ok.

I would say exercise is the biggest factor in most childrens health issues these days.. far too many hours are spent in front of the tv, or at the computer, and parents who are too nervous thanks to media hype to let their kids go far enough away playing out to get a decent amount of exercise. A bit of salt and sugar never killed the average person, but a lack of moving around regularly is not good at all.

[Callisto]

FGS don't start calorie counting for a 5 year old. That is utter madness. Just increase her exercise subtly. I agree that most eating disorders begin when children are this age - calorie counting and diets are an obvious trigger.

DD always has an adults portion when we eat out (about once a week) because childrens menus are generally shite. She generally manages most of it, but is never forced to clear her plate. I also eat like a horse and I'm a size 10/12. I am also very active. Exercise is the key here. The amount of energy you consume must be the same as the amount of energy you use or you get fat. Its a simple equation.

[HelloKlitty]

No Worra....it's fine. My DD is scrawny but can happily eat cereal and fruit for breakfast...her stomach's not expanded so it's hard to fill up!

If the OPs cild can eat a larger but healthy breakfast then all good...her snackhowever needs to be something without sugar...so she can last longer without getting hungry....

OP...change her cereal bar for something like carrot sticks or an apple...strawberries are usually popuar. And drop the smoothie at lunch.

When eating out, make sure she's not having a starter....one child's meal and a little ice cream is fine once a week.... try to get her to choose healthy meals when out...spag bol.....baked potato..

[worraliberty]

My point about the banana is not that it's not ok to eat...it's that it's unnecessary to eat along with the cereal or porridge.

The more a stomach takes in one sitting, the more it eventually expands to take more.

This is often why some people have far bigger appetites than others...they need more food inside to feel full because that's what they're used to.

[magicmummy1]

OP, does she know when to stop eating when she's had enough? Or does she tend to finish what's on her plate even when she is full?

I tend to keep eating till I have finished but have noticed that dd just stops when she has had enough - even when eating chocolate cake!! I'm sure this is much healthier, and helps to regulate weight naturally.

Would she notice if you gradually reduced the portion size?

[Laquitar]

I agree the banana is much better (and cheaper) than the cereal bar.

[magicmummy1]

I think she'd have to eat a heck of a lot at weekends for that to be a factor. I would definitely focus on getting her to be more active, and try not to worry too much about the food. As others have said, you don't want her to have ishoos about food when she is older.

[wfrances]

ismeyes if i rembember 5 yr old should have approx 1800 cals a day,make a diary and calorie count but you must weigh the food untill you can guage for yourself the portion size .

[HelloKlitty]

worra even on a calorie controlled diet, a banana AND porrige is ok...if anything should be cut it's the cereal bar...thery're loaded with sugar. NOT the fruit.

[LeonardNimoy]

What does she do between finishing school and tea? Aren't they supposed to average an hour of proper running around exercise a day? DS is 6 and about 123cm about 20kg, but I think eats a lot more than what you have listed as a days food for your DD. However he either out on his bike or running round in garden for about 2 hours a day after school and tea. He also often walks the dog with me. I think they burn more off running around playing their own games than they do at organized activities.