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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the neighbours should have some tolerance?

30 replies

CocoPopsAddict · 04/07/2011 15:50

So we are lucky enough to have a 'weekend flat' in another city, as DH's family live in this area and he bought it here a few years ago.

We spend maybe two weekends a month here.

Our downstairs neighbours bang the ceiling and play loud music whenever our 7mo DS kicks on the floor, even if just for a couple of minutes.

We do try and put his playmat down etc to muffle the noise.

Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off? They know we have a baby and we're really not here much.

OP posts:
bubblesincoffee · 04/07/2011 15:51

It's hard to say really. How hard can a 7mo kick?? Confused

You are either making a lot more noise than you realise, or your neighbours are twats.

WhoAteMySnickers · 04/07/2011 15:55

Christ, how big is your 7mo that him kicking on the floor disturbs the neighbours? If that's really all there is to it, then YANBU.

Awomancalledhorse · 04/07/2011 15:56

If you've got wooden floors/live in a converted house then you maybe louder than you think you are.
However, wtf? You're there for 4 days in a month & they can't handle the noise? Rent it out to the local Morris Dancers society
If it was that bad a problem, surely they'd come up and talk to you?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/07/2011 16:02

Perhaps that's it, you're not there much and when you are, there's a discernible noise difference. I'm wondering though how loud your DS can possibly be at 7 months.. Confused

Could you perhaps ask your neighbour to pop up for a coffee? She could see DS in 'action' and maybe she'd realise that you're not doing anything loudly, it's just the construct of the building.

Bloodymary · 04/07/2011 16:04

WTF? You sound like ideal neighbours.

oohjarWhatsit · 04/07/2011 16:09

take the baby's doc martens off after 7 pm!

sausagesandmarmelade · 04/07/2011 16:14

Agree it's a pretty hefty kick for a 7 month old!

What are you feeding him/her?? Smile

Seriously tho....why not get a rug for the time being...and consider putting some carpet down in the long term.

NoMoreWasabi · 04/07/2011 16:15

Have you actually tried discussing this with them?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 04/07/2011 17:00

I'm imagining a baby in hobnailed padders - tbh I can't see a baby kicking on the floor - even a wooden floor - being that loud. I think NoMoreWasabi is right, and you should nip down and have a diplomatic chat with them.

pingu2209 · 04/07/2011 17:02

The problem is most likely partially because you are only there a few times a month. They are so used to total quiet that any noise seems a lot. Not that that helps much.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 04/07/2011 17:09

If you have wood flooring this may be the problem. I used to live under somone who had wood flooring and it was a nightmare.

But even if ou have YANBU as you are hardly there

CQrrrneee · 04/07/2011 17:12

he is 7 months old? Twats. Go down with him and knock on their door. - see if they're at all embarrassed about getting cross about a baby.

JustCallMeMummyPig · 04/07/2011 17:30

If you have wooden flooring then it maybe louder to them than you realise, in a flat we sed to havethey had it upstairs and you can hear people just walking across it, lots of flats don't actually allow wooden flooring because of this,maybe put carpet down?

but they still sound unreasonable to me!

MadYoungCatLady · 04/07/2011 18:16

I was living in a converted house, three floors, we had the middle. My DS would have been about 16 months when some new neighbours moved in downstairs. My DS ran around, and laughed, and was a toddler. At 8am. This provoked several bangs on their ceiling with "shut the fuck up!" being shouted at us.
Its so irritating! If they dont want noise, they shouldnt have moved to a flat. What the hell do people expect? Go down to them and politely ask what seems to be the problem (baby in tow so they dont get aggressive) and point out unfortunately your baby does not understand 'please dont kick' you are very sorry blah blah blah theres nothing you can do really but just wanted to let them know you do realise its probably disturbing them and say sorry again. If they have a problem let them try enviromental health and see how hard they get laughed at...

I feel your pain :( good luck!

catgirl1976 · 04/07/2011 18:39

Urgh. I once lived in a flat above a girl who was a nightmare. Slightest noise set her off. Final straw came when I dropped a knife on the kitchen floor when washing up and she hammered on the ceiling. I lost it at that point I have to admit and started jumping up and down as hard as I could, whilst screaming obscenities at the floor. Things were never better than frosty after that.

Perhaps you are best to knock on her door with DC and see if she is evil enough to complain about a baby to his face. If she is, then to be honest, fuck her and make as much noise as you can. I doubt she will be though.

andiem · 04/07/2011 18:44

We have this problem as well, we have a holiday flat and the people above us complain about noise when we are there. I think it is the fact that they are used to the quiet and then we arrive. We don't let the kids play in the lounge until after 8 in the morning but apparently that is still too early.

Original poster
CocoPopsAddict · 04/07/2011 19:18

Thanks all.

Yes, we have carpet.

The guy has been up once and has seen DS.

Glad to know I am not being unreasonable!!

OP posts:
NearlySpring · 04/07/2011 19:38

Is there a reason why you or your husband haven't been downthwre and told him to stop banging on the bloody ceiling? It's the first thing I would be doing!

somethingwitty82 · 04/07/2011 21:04

Hell to the no!

Next time you leave lift up the carpet, whack the rampant rabiit to 11 and let it dance on the floorboards till the batterys dies

Perspective mofo'

JarethTheGoblinKing · 04/07/2011 21:09

Next time they bang on the ceiling go straight down there and ask them what the hell their problem is! Point out that you're there 10% of the time, that it's a baby they're complaining about, and perhaps they should be just a teeny bit tolerant.

On the other hand... My passive aggressive ways would have me down there with a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine, apologising profusely for the noise my 7mo makes and hoping that my occasional stays in my own fucking flat doesn't encroach on their quality of life.

Fucking wankers.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 04/07/2011 21:10

somethingwitty82 - I lke your thinking.

Alternatively point the speakers at the floor and put Portishead on loop for a fortnight. That'll learn 'em Wink

xstitch · 04/07/2011 21:10

They can have my upstairs neighbours if you like. Then they will appreciate you better. Mine use the washing machine and tumble drier at 5am and are incapable of going through any door with out slamming it. When they do it to the close door they shake the whole building.

somethingwitty82 · 04/07/2011 21:15

Or send DH down with bottle o'wine and his best oneliners, impregnate her then you can have the satisfaction of complaining :)

fedupofnamechanging · 04/07/2011 21:16

People who choose to live in a flat have no business moaning about the normal 'living' noises that other people make. Banging on the ceiling is fucking rude and if my neighbour did that I would no longer be at all considerate of them.

Baby noise is not considered a nuisance by environmental health, so tell your neighbour if they are not happy, they are free to move fuck off and live somewhere else

feralgirl · 04/07/2011 21:21

YANBU. When we had an irritating teenage wannabe DJ for a neighbour, playing hideous gabba every evening, we used to just move our dirty great big warfdale speakers up to the wafer-thin dividing wall and put Black Sabbath on at full volume when we went out.

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