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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think cousin is very wrong

36 replies

Waswildatheart · 01/07/2011 23:50

just heard my cousin has had his first daughter and that they have called her by the same name as my brothers eldest. The names are identical so now my dad and his brother have granddaughters with the same name. I think this is really wrong and really feel for my niece, who is away travelling and does not know yet! AIBU?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 01/07/2011 23:54

Yeah a bit unreasonable.

For generations people have been named after parents/Aunts/Uncles/Grandparents etc...

Therefore, having the same name as her cousin isn't going to be a big deal. They'll just be known as "So and so's (insert name)"

worraliberty · 01/07/2011 23:56

Oh hold on a minute...your 'brothers child' and your 'cousins' child?

YABU, I was thinking your brother and sister had kids with the same name!

DeepPurple · 01/07/2011 23:58

YABU especially if it's a common name.

DogsBestFriend · 02/07/2011 00:00

YABU on the grounds that my DD and my cousin share the same name. DD is the younger and I chose the name because I like it. My cousin is fine with it. They have different surnames and 13 years difference in age and affectionately call each other "Big Firstname" and "Little Firstname".

It works for us so I don't see the problem nor tbh do I see that it's anyone else's business what an individual calls their child.

takethisonehereforastart · 02/07/2011 00:01

If your neice is away travelling she must be an adult (or close to being one) and might find it cool to have a baby named 'after' her.

And with such a big age gap there's not likely to be much confusion between them even if they live near to each other or meet up at family occasions.

What is the name? Is it a fairly popular one or one that is special to lots of people in your family/cousins wifes family?

Original poster
Waswildatheart · 02/07/2011 00:12

I guess the age gap helps. We have an unusual family name though the first name was unusual 18 years ago it is more common now. I guess my grumps come from thinking they could have discussed it and because I know my niece will find it hard. We will all have to suggest it is the highest form of flattery!

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 02/07/2011 00:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 02/07/2011 00:20

How will she find it 'hard'?? Confused

The name's not 'Precious' is it? Grin

moshchops · 02/07/2011 00:34

Don't be daft.
You say your neice is away travelling, so I take it she is over 16.
An age gap of 16 yrs between two second cousins means they are not going to be close (especially by the time the baby turns 18) so it really won't matter.
How close are you to your dad's cousins daughter?

essexmumma · 02/07/2011 00:38

I don't see it as an issue. Your niece is old enough to cope. I do understand people have funny ideas with names as when DD was born my DH refused to call her the same name as his best friends niece- I found this totally unreasonable. DDs name is far more suited though in hindsight.

Enjoy the new family member rather than making her birth become a debate. It should be a special time.

DivineInspiration · 02/07/2011 00:52

Why will your niece find it hard? Is it very unusual or particularly meaningful or precious to her/her immediate family? If so, then maybe your cousin could have been a little more sensitive or discussed it with the family. Otherwise, can't see why it should even be an issue. Some names are just so nice that lots of people want to use them. It's not an insult.

All of DP's family are called Dave. Sometimes it's a bit like going out with Papa Lazarou. But nobody ever moans that Auntie So-And-So should have chosen a different name, and they all manage to work out which Dave is which without too much confusion.

thursday · 02/07/2011 01:12

i tend to think it's odd, there are so many names, why would you pick one the same as someone in close family? but then this niece is clearly an adult, so it's not so weird, more like naming them after a grandparent or an aunt isn't it? i've no idea why she would find it 'hard'.

my husband is James and his cousin is Jamie, their mums are sisters and there's only a few months between them. they spent their youths sat with the wrong parents at weddings. just seems a really bizarre move on MILs part (hubs is the younger)

MadYoungCatLady · 02/07/2011 01:20

Don't think I would call my DC after my cousins children, but then I am adamant of finding a name that is rare yet not 'new' and if I have heard any name I think would be nice to call my next DC I dismiss it.

However, if my cousin was named after me I'd be grinning from ear to ear. Isn't it flattering for someone to be named after you?

Laquitar · 02/07/2011 04:07

Anyone remembers 'My Greek Fat Big Wedding', when he said 'this is Nick, and this is Nick, and Nick, Nick...' Grin

Dh is Greek and my ds shares the same name with all his cousins as it is the tradition (it is Fil's name). It is actually nice that they all have the same name.

Why would she find it hard?

TanteRose · 02/07/2011 04:10

In our family, it was James that was the "go to" name. My grandmother had a son, two grandsons, two grandnephews, who were all called James. It was only confusing when someone shouted out the name at a family gathering and several people came running!

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 02/07/2011 07:18

She will find it hard? Why will she? If she's old enough to go travelling I'm sure she is old enough to deal with someone else in the world having the same name. And do not say it is flattering that suggests the baby was named after her.

itisnearlysummer · 02/07/2011 07:25

Well when I first read OP I thought I was a bit odd when there are so many names to choose from that you'd choose the same name as another 'child' in the family...

But it isn't another child, she's a lot older. So I think that's fine.

It sounds a bit odd to me, but then we have a microscopic family and for 2 children in our family to have had the same name would have meant my brother and I. Now that would have been strange!

itisnearlysummer · 02/07/2011 07:26

brother and me.

LeoTheLateBloomer · 02/07/2011 07:35

We've got loads of the same names in our family, first cousins as well as cousins' children.

Really don't see the problem.

HeidiKat · 02/07/2011 10:42

YABU, we have a family name that has been used loads in our family, I have a grandfather, uncle and two cousins all with the same first name, never been a problem.

Lonnie · 02/07/2011 10:47

YABU my cousins oldest son is the same name as mine and his cousin his 2nd son is the same name as our other cousins ds it has never caused issues

cory · 02/07/2011 11:34

It means a lot to my dd that her name is the same as my cousin's youngest: they have both been named after the same grandmother, and this is something that makes her feel she belongs in a wider family context.

biddysmama · 02/07/2011 11:48

my cousin on my mums side has named her baby the same as my eldest and my uncle on my dads side has aswell, i was pretty pissed off about it.

Maryz · 02/07/2011 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eurochick · 02/07/2011 12:00

I have the same name as my SIL. Now, I met my husband years before his brother met his now wife, but they got married first (trust me to get non-committal brother). Now, which one is at fault for this terribly confusing situation?

[Ps - I'd love to know how we are identified behind our backs....]

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