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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think nursery staff are lying?

52 replies

Flojo1979 · 30/06/2011 13:35

..or am I being way too cynical and OTT?
I've posted a couple of times recently about the amount of scratches my DD is coming home with from nursery. In the past 5 wks she has been scratched (red blooded line) by another child (once a wk). I have spoke to nursery staff who said my DD didnt start it, nor retaliate. Nor is she being targetted, nor it is just one child doing the scratching.
I expressed i wasnt happy about it after 3rd time, then wk after yet another incident form to sign and wk after that again. Yesterday when i dropped her off again i told the nursery staff i was unhappy and they assured me they'd keep an extra eye on DD.
Later when i collected her she had 3 scratches down her face and about half a dozen up her arm, but nursery started by telling me, my DD started it and the other child came off worse.
Is this just 2 yr olds being 2 yr olds?
Am i over reacting to think this shouldnt happen so often?
Are they lying to stop me going off on one about it happening again? Or did she start it? If so, has she learnt to fight at nursery after wks of getting scratched herself?
Should i be looking to remove her from nursery? or shrug n say kids will be kids?

OP posts:

tazmin · 30/06/2011 13:36

the only way you are going to know if she is being cared for properly is to do it yourself. I wouldnt have it.

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 30/06/2011 13:36

In reply to your last question, the latter.

Sounds par for the course for a 2 year old in a nursery to me.

sparkle12mar08 · 30/06/2011 13:39

Take her out and complain to ofsted that supervising and safeguarding is not up to standard.

2cats2many · 30/06/2011 13:40

I am constantly signing the accident book for my children at nursery (mostly bumps from physical play) but I would be concerned if she was consistently coming home with scratches. I'd be wondering why the staff weren't stopping the 2year olds from scratching each other.

Do you have other childcare options? Wy don't you ask for a meeting with the manager to discuss?

VelvetSnow · 30/06/2011 13:40

how does your dd seem to you? does she seem happy to continue going to nursery?

Jojay · 30/06/2011 13:41

I would be very unimpressed by the frequency of these injuries.

VelvetSnow · 30/06/2011 13:41

can you get them to hand out nailclippers to parents?

my dd almost clawed my eye out, those nails can be viscious!

Pinkjenny · 30/06/2011 13:41

I think the issue is that she had managed to sustain so many scratches before the altercation was 'broken up' between the dc. Six on her arm and three on her face sounds like a lot to me. I would think that children having a disagreement would be reasonably vocal and staff would notice quite quickly.

I'm not sure I'd take her out, but I would definitely question their ratios and levels of supervision.

worraliberty · 30/06/2011 13:42

This is always the problem with having to send a non talking child to Nursery.

You really will never know I'm afraid

Pinkjenny · 30/06/2011 13:42

tazmin - that's utter garbage. What about when they start school?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/06/2011 13:43

I agree with 2cats...obv at nursery they are going to get the odd scratch, bumps etc but if it is consistant you need to find out what is going on....if the other 2 year old came off worse were the staff just watching whilst they scuffled??? Sounds very odd!!

I think you def need a meeting with the nursery to try and get to the bottom of it but if nothing happens and the scratching persists then maybe you need to look at other childcare options - new nursery or a cm?? I used a CM when DS was small and we never had any problems.

TandB · 30/06/2011 13:43

I think occasional minor injuries are certainly par for the course. However, this does seem a bit too regular and too much for my liking. I wouldn't take her out if you are otherwise happy but I would be questioning how this is happening so often and what steps they are taking to make sure it doesn't happen again.

DS has been bitten a couple of times - on both occasions because he was trying to take toys off another child - and has the occasional scratch, but I would be quite concerned if he had that number of scratches from one incident. That would suggest a child who is lashing out quite violently for some reason or staff who are not intervening quickly enough.

TandB · 30/06/2011 13:44

Pinkjenny - don't engage. She does these one-line "look after your own kids" on any vaguely relevant thread. Best ignore.

Pinkjenny · 30/06/2011 13:44

Thanks kungfupannda I can feel my blood starting to boil.

firsttimer84 · 30/06/2011 13:44

I'd be concerned too. I would assume you are paying because she is not yet 3? I'd be inclined to move her to be honest.

P.s I'm normally very much "don't wrap them in cotton wool, let them be kids etc etc" but this is a lot of times and consistently scratches not other "play wounds"

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/06/2011 13:45

Well said Kung Fu - I noticed that on another thread...just ignore and dont feed her!

2cats2many · 30/06/2011 13:46

OP- ignore Tazmin. She's talking out of her arse.

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 30/06/2011 13:47

DD goes in happily, she attends 2 days a wk, i dont need to send her, its more to give me a break and let me get stuff done as shes quite clingy. If i was to take her out then I'd keep her home with me, at least til next Jan when shes 3.
I think I'll ring them and speak to them again and find out exactly what happened yesterday.

OP posts:

TandB · 30/06/2011 13:48

If she is normally clingy and yet she is attending this nursery quite happily, then I would think that is a fairly positive indicator.

I would be inclined to be honest with them about your concerns on this one issue.

Mumwithadragontattoo · 30/06/2011 13:50

When my DD was 2 she would have minor accidents quite often and even now she is 3 her legs are very bruised etc from nursery. I would say that is quite normal as they are just not steady on their feet and are stretching themselves physically. However the scratching you describes sounds like it probably is from a particular child and I think you need to continue to put pressure on the nursery to stop this happening.

worraliberty · 30/06/2011 13:51

Then personally I'd keep her at home if you've no real need to send her.

I only say that because of your other threads about this...you're clearly very worried about it.

I didn't have to send my kids to nursery before they could speak...so therefore I chose not to. I just took them to playgroups so they could mix with other children but under my watchful eye so to speak.

As soon as they were old enough to start the Nursery attached to the school, I think I punched the air on the way out

jugglingmug · 30/06/2011 13:51

2 year old DD2 goes to crechea couple of times a week while I'm leading courses, she has never been scratched by another child. I would be questioning how they are supervised and asking what positive steps they take to avoid altercations and injury. Not okay or normal IMO.

Tazmin - dont you worry about your kids becoming self satisfied, judgmental and arrogant because they only spend time with only you as a role model?

lookbutdonttouch · 30/06/2011 13:52

I'd def have a word. A few bumps from play and the odd scratch and one bite I recall from DD's nursery years but that does sound a little excessive...

Ask clever questions about child to adult ratios etc??

Oblomov · 30/06/2011 13:56

Speak to the manager. and just say that you would like it noted down. theis is less serious thta 'making an offical complaint, but more serious than just a casual word. This is what I think the situaton requires.
you have already talked to them a few times and the key worker(whoever you pick him up from) is being a bit dismissive. thats why you now need to talk to the manager.
I've had 2 boys go through private nursery. one still is. and there endless bumps etc. falling into eachother , falling over, etc etc. endless signing accident forms. THAT is nomral.
what you are having is not. at all. not AT ALL. The staff should be very aware which child/children are scratching your dd, and be totally on top of the case to prevent it from happening. it really is that simple.
ds1 was bitten. twice. the first time, not really an issue. they apologised. the child was a known biter. and they would take more care. the second time on the face, full teeth marks, black as your hat bruise for over a week. it was bad. I had strong words. never happened again. no problem with anyhting, ever again.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 30/06/2011 14:04

I agree with worraliberty here - I do think gernerally this is a danger of sending non-talking children to nursery. However, your DD is 2, isnt' she, OP, so is she able to tell you what's been happening. The situation you describe would ring significant alarm bells for me - bumps and bruises, perhaps a bit more par for the course, but scratches seem more deliberate, somehow. And, considering it hasn't happened just the once, doesn't sound like the staff are as on top of things as they should be.

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