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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP adding ex wife (again) on facebook

26 replies

SnotGrass · 25/06/2011 23:26

Dp's ex wife added him to facebook last year. All of a sudden he recently got a text kicking off accussing him of saying stuff about her and telling him to die. She then deleted and blocked him off facebook.

So since then he's said "well if she tries to add me again, I'll be ignoring her. No reason for her to be on my facebook anyway " etc etc

So this has been the situation for a few weeks now today she sends him a message saying she deleted him by accident and sent him another friend request. He then said to me "what shall I do? ignore it or will that just cause trouble?" Hmm ffs so I said "do what you want" so he's added her again!

AIBU to be pissed off at his lack of backbone?

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 25/06/2011 23:27

It's not that big a deal, surely?

hairfullofsnakes · 25/06/2011 23:28

Do they have kids together? She sounds a bit mad!

worraliberty · 25/06/2011 23:28

YABU

If you had any backbone you would have told him what you wanted him to do instead of telling him to do what he wants and then getting annoyed about it.

I must say it all sounds very childish though.

Do they have kids together?

Original poster
SnotGrass · 25/06/2011 23:28

well it pisses me off the way he makes out there is nothing between them yet when she says jump, he says "how high". Its the same EVERYTIME.

OP posts:
WhoAteMySnickers · 25/06/2011 23:31

YABU to tell him to do what he wants, then be pissed off because he did what he wanted.

BitOfFun · 25/06/2011 23:31

What other situations does this happen in then? Are they in touch in other ways?

Original poster
SnotGrass · 25/06/2011 23:32

well after all the bullshit about "I won't be adding her again!" etc I assumed he wouldn't. Should have known better, he seems to be shit scared of her. Funny how he'll "Put his foot down" with me yet shits himself if she so much as looks at him the wrong way.

OP posts:
gallicgirl · 25/06/2011 23:36

Surely she's only added him so she can spy on what he says and make trouble?

I'd be very annoyed.

number1 · 25/06/2011 23:41

log in as him and delete her; if you can't log in as him plaster his wall with lovey dovey stuff and see what her reaction is. add loads of pics of you 2 together and tag him in every single one of them, if she wants to see pics of him she will see you both together. tee hee very childish I know but that's what I would do........ ;-)
you could always take the mature option and tell him straight. ask him that you would prefer it if he deleted her from his friends list.

Original poster
SnotGrass · 25/06/2011 23:47

She's an absolute wierdo. Her current obsession (she has one every few weeks) is personality types so she posts endless drivel about personality types and naturally slotting in the bits about how "past relationships" could have worked had they recognised each other's personality traits etc etc.

She's a wind-up merchant and then plays the victim when confronted.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 25/06/2011 23:49

Like it, number1. Many years ago in California (where else?) there was a case of a man who had a cheque book made in which the cheques were over-printed with a photo of him giving his second wife a long smoochy kiss. He used it to write alimony cheques to his first wife. She sent them back and a court decided that she had waived payment . . . Clever man, or clever second wife, or clever lawyer!

worraliberty · 25/06/2011 23:54

She can only wind you up if you let her.

If she winds you up this much, why do you look at her FB wall?

Do they have kids together?

aPhilDunphy · 26/06/2011 09:21

create a new profile of dp, with similar pics add his ex and next day update his status to say he's going rock climbing...... and basically kill him off. something similar worked for me and dw few years back

Lorenz · 26/06/2011 09:24

PMSL @ kill him off Grin

That gives me an idea though strokes imaginary beard why not set up a new facebook page for your DP, put a few pics of him on there and then send her a message saying this is his new facebook page and add her to that. Oh the fun you could have with that one!!

Original poster
SnotGrass · 26/06/2011 09:54

She'd probably text him and ask why he'd created a new account.

OP posts:
Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 26/06/2011 10:27

My dh's ex wife used to use the kids facebook accounts joined to their dad to view his profile and try and see mine. I had to block his kids (she won't let him see them anyhow, so i have no relationship with them.)

I changed his location to Adelaide once, and his career to IT director. She shit herself and got straight on the phone about payments overseas and how much more was he earning now. Ha ha silly bitch was busted for using her kids accounts. Funny also how they were allowed to add him as a friend and then send weekly requests for holiday money, car money, football ticket money..etc but not reply about meeting up with their dad.

You can do certain blocks though? Block her from posting on his wall, seeing certain photos etc?

In all honesty i wpuld Just tell him to delete her from his friends. Tell him it makes you, the wife in his life, uncomfortable that this woman has a window on your world.

Pumpernickel10 · 26/06/2011 10:49

Sounds like you both don't have back bones to me
He's an ex cut her out of your life's

MotherMucca · 26/06/2011 10:54

aPhilDunphy has the right idea.

Grin
Bandwitch · 26/06/2011 10:55

Bound to cause stress and trouble imo. I have neither my x, nor his brothers, their various gfs/wives on my fb. I don't want them to know anything about my life. I don't want to know about theirs.

But then, maybe your husband is on a friendlier footing with his x, and there's nothing wrong with that.

portaloo · 26/06/2011 10:59

Your DP must be aware that this winds you up?
Do they have any DC?

MadYoungCatLady · 26/06/2011 11:47

Ive sent a request to my exDH in the past, which he has ignored but regularly bloody pokes me! I'm glad he has ignored it, I'd probably end up stalking him and just winding myself up with his posts, where he spends his money and the such as he still hasnt bothered to send our DS a christmas present from last year, and tbh I do not need all the hassle!
Its hard not to be interested sometimes, so try not to give him a hard time if he accepts. Facebook seems to just be based on nosiness - let her have a nose at his wonderful life with you and get herself jealous. She is just trying to torture herself.

PinotsKittens · 26/06/2011 16:16

I don't think you're BU at all.

Lipstickgal · 26/06/2011 17:31

Well he could just simply delete himself entirely from the sadness that is FAcebook and use the concerns for privacy excuse. That way it isn't personal and is a win-win.

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 26/06/2011 17:40

OP I dont' think you're BU at all. He does need to show some backbone. Why are they still in contact? Are there children involved? I can se absolutely no reason otherwise, why he would want to stay in contact.

An ex is an ex, in my book! Don't look back - why does he? And what TF is the matter with her, wanting to maintain contact. If he's not her life partner anymore then they should cut loose from each other.

She sounds bonkers.

MeconiumHappens · 26/06/2011 18:04

YABU. Perhaps he' just trying to keep the peace. You know youre getting all worked up over "being added on facebook"... if he was 14 maybe it would mean he fancied her, but he's not.

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